Sunday, 10 January 2010

Home to the horror that cuts through all the sedation.

Back from Smoky-Drinky evening, and there'd been no new snow since I went out. It's cold though. There's a long queue of brass monkeys outside the welder's shop. Fortunately my spiked stick is still in my possession but it's only useful for crossing ice. I am not permitted to use it to defend myself if I am attacked, even if it's in my own home.

Note to prospective burglars. I will use it, I will not call the police and you will be found in the woods in weekly instalments, apart from the edible bits. The current legal system allows me no other course of action.

I am not famous. Mylene Klaas is, apparently. She scared off some burglars by waving a knife and being hysterical at them - she did not make contact with them at all - and she was cautioned for it. The burglars, at the time of writing, have not been inconvenienced by the police at all.

Jonathan Shalit, Myleene's spokesperson told the Sunday Telegraph: 'Myleene was aghast when she was told that the law did not allow her to defend herself in her own home.

15 comments:

JuliaM said...

Sussex Police, eh? I'm going to need to break in a new tag...

View from the Solent said...

In Amerenglish, the plod most certainly is an ass.

Anonymous said...

Is there any way to name and shame the twerp that reported this to the police.
Of course nthey will go and arrest someone,soft easy target innit.

bonspeil cancelled due to ice said...

The police said it was illegal to have an offensive weapon in your own house. How do you peel the spuds ? Shut the curtains first I suppose in case you're spotted.
I see elfnsafety cancelled the bonspeil ( 3,000 curlers to play a giant curling match on Lake Monteith - first time the lake has frozen over properly in 30 years ) because it might be slippy and they couldn't guarantee safety.
Oh and councils have advised against gritting paths as if you attempt to grit the path and someone slips then you are liable as they assumed you gritted said path properly. If you just leave it and more folk fall that's nothing to do with you.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Good news, Bonspieler, they ignored plod and went ahead with the curling anyway. :-)

bonspiel said...

DP. Good news indeed. This facebook and twitter revolution might herald a return of people power !

richard said...

Section 1 of the Prevention of Crime Act 1953 outlaws the possession in any public place of an offensive weapon "without lawful authority or reasonable excuse".

having a knife in your own house isn't a crime because it's not a public place.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

I think we should all send an email to the councillor that instigated this charade:

"Dear small minded nobody,

You no likey the word Likey? Get on your Bikey and take a Hikey.

Regards (and a plague on your house)

Beware of Geeks"

Sir Henry Morgan said...

So that's "bigger" gone

"Baccy"

"Log" "bog" "dog"

"Soon"

"Tank" "bank" "Thank"

"Link" "soap" "dope" "think"

"trout" "spout"

These lists of forbidden words could get quite long.

Bugger - what can and can't we say?

John R said...

If the need arises, could you talk me through the dissection?

Anonymous said...

Read the article. If the police spokes person claims noone was there, why warn her? Is threatening noone now a crime?

-=P=-

Leg-iron said...

John R - instruction will be provided. I can do Halal and Kosher too, if there's an appropriate priest handy.

Anon - I doubt she had the knife in her hands when the police arrived. So it was a warning about holding a knife in her own home while shouting at criminals, in the absence of any evidence of a knife or a criminal other than her own word.

That's a good enough reason not to tell them anything.

I've also realised I spelled her name wrong. Well, it was late and I'd been at the fire-water.

richard said...

Sir Henry Morgan: careful, you may be accused of being a trigger in the woodpile.

banned said...

I read that article 'Likey' with increasing rage while trying to relax in the pub after a visit to my osteopath. What made the initial complaint and arrest worse was the complacent attitude of the council and police following it. Thank goodness the '45-year-old IT company manager' is both articulate and media savvy.

If I find myself in a similar position I will most certainly be following Nighjacks advice, but then I don't have a wife or worried children to be thinking of.

Police, A Survivors Guide For Decent Folk

naturalnoble said...

Apparently the police in question deny being spastics (ie. deny this story). Maybe Myleene was lying. She does, after all, have a strong vested interest in lying to make the police look stupid

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