Off out to brave the Antarctic cold and the ice tonight, for a quick visit to the pub then on to the Smoky-Drinky place. Hopefully I can get there and back without my spiked stick (essential for negotiating the glaciers in the streets) being classed as an offensive weapon and stolen by the laughing policemen.
I can drink and smoke at home (for now), but something's missing. I can drink and smoke at the Smoky-Drinky place which is better than sitting at home watching snowflakes fall, but there's still that one little thing. We mainly drink whisky at the Smoky-Drinky place for good reason, and it's not only because there's only one toilet.
It's beer. Beer from a can or a bottle is cheaper than buying it in the pub, but a pint pulled from a tap just tastes so much better. Even the cans with the fizz-widget in the bottom don't match it. A proper pint of Calder's 80/- in the pub knocks spots off the same beer in a fizz-widget can.
So it's pub first for a proper beer or two, then off to the Smoky-Drinky place for the rest of the evening because if those antismokers think I'm going to pay to support the industry by standing outside in this weather, tough.
I'll miss every pub that closes but I'm effectively banned from them all in bad weather because I like a drink and a smoke. No pub allows that and no pub is allowed to allow it. So I really can't do much to help those pubs no matter how much I'd like to spend more time and money in there. I'll have Electrofag with me in the pub but it's a substitute too. It'll be real tobacco at the Smoky Drinky place.
If only we could get hold of a keg and a tap. That might draw a little too much attention, unfortunately. A pool table would be good too but the Smoky-Drinky place isn't big enough. Besides, it would seriously affect the mobility of the place.
So, as long as we aren't allowed to take our pints outside and aren't allowed to smoke inside, the combined pleasures of smoking and drinking decent beer are forever separated.
If I can spread the rumour that ASH want access to homes with children for less than savoury purposes, I will do so. No mercy, no negotiation and no compromise. It doesn't even have to have a grain of truth in it. Just some made up 'facts' and 'figures'.
It's the way they've played the game against me so far.
Time to go and discuss it with some smokers...