Not much time this weekend. I have two deadlines left to complete and two days to do them in so I'd better get started. I know it's technically three days but tomorrow night is booked as a Smoky Drinky and I have a bottle of Glenfiddich 12-year-old to take along.
The Count of Mandelsonia has a spiffing wheeze that will help him shut down those naughty people who call him names and point out the idiocy in his government's systems. It's all based on the filesharing nonsense that they've been harping on about for ages. I couldn't see why the Count would care but it's perfectly clear now that the pieces are all in place.
It's simple. If you are accused of filesharing, your internet connection is shut off. Not filesharing and want it back? Well, nothing to hide, nothing to fear, right? Just go to that Ofcom place and tell them you aren't filesharing and there's been a mistake. A quick look at your internet records will clear you. No problem.
Well, there is a problem. You now have to pay for asking for your connection back, whether the accusation is true or not. How much? That's not specified yet. Will you get the money back if you're innocent? No.
So, to shut the likes of me up, the Count merely has to phone my ISP and say 'That little bugger is filesharing' and they shut me down. They won't check first. They're so scared of being implicated they'll just cut the wire.
I'm not involved in any filesharing. This computer is over five years old and the stress could kill it. I don't play online games either and with my gift for procrastinating, I'm better to keep well clear of anything like that. Most of what I do involves text and numbers so I don't need a fancy machine. This one works fine but won't be doing anything impressive. It already whines like a bitch if there are too many ads on a webpage!
But all the Count needs is the accusation. He can then make it expensive for me to prove my innocence. Maybe I can afford it the first time. Maybe the second. The third? Fourth? Each time, guilt is presumed and the punishment applied at once. If you want to prove your innocence, it'll cost you. That's how British law works now. That's how Labour governments always work.
Forget paying for your defence. It would be cheaper to buy one of those wireless dongle thingies and go online with that. Don't put too much money on it because you never know when it'll be cut off. Then buy another one. Cash. Different name every time, if they ask. Don't refuse to give a name, that will simply draw attention to you. Most supermarkets have a good turnover of till staff so it'll be easy to find one who hasn't heard your 'name' before.
Why am I banging on about this now, when it's not law yet?
Well, once it is, it'll be too late.