Smoky-Drinky time!

Off to the Smoky-Drinky place for the evening so there'll be no more rants tonight unless something terrible occurs and I'm still in control of my fingers when I get back. Electrofag is coming along but unless we decide to visit the pub, I won't be using it. The whole point of the Smoky-Drinky places is that I don't have to.

Via Frank Davis, I came across a bunch of what can only be considered 'fundamentalist smokers'. A blog asked for experiences of Electrofag users, some answered, and were derided roundly for not being real smokers. Some were accused of being ASH trolls trying to force Electrofag on the proper smokers. Quotes out of context, insults, the old 'if you think that, then you must be a...' lines - it started to look like a typical den of Righteousness and here I was thinking that smokers and the Righteous must be mortal enemies. Seems we have a few too. I suppose it was inevitable. Electrofag users are now seen as second-class smokers by smokers. The divisions get ever finer, day by day. Soon Marlboro smokers will have nothing to do with Benson and Hedges smokers and ASH will love every minute of it.

Well, now, what on earth happened to the concept of personal choice? Isn't that what opposition to the smoking ban is all about? So some people actually prefer Electrofag to tobacco. Personally, I don't. It's a fun gadget and it's the only way to combine a beer in a pub with a nearly-smoke. It's also fun to watch the Righteous recoil in terror and complain to the bar staff, only to be told I'm not doing anything illegal. It's not the same as tobacco but I can't have a tobacco smoke indoors and I can't take the pint outside. It's the best available option for combining them in the pub.

It's also handy at the lab when it's bucketing down outside because there's no shelter out there.

There is no 'force' coming from Electrofag users. Mine has been passed round the pub once or twice. I'm not selling them and get no commission so it only gets passed if someone wants to try it. Some think it's okay, some don't like it at all. That probably depends on what's in it - usually mine contains cigar or virginia flavour. The tobacco flavour tastes like a readymade, nothing like a rollup, so smokers of readymades won't like the virginia flavour.

Electrofag is an option, nothing more. For the moment. ASH are already pretending that a non-smoker will die from one whiff of the steam from one of these things even though there's nothing but steam, nicotine and a pharmaceutical grade thickener to make the steam look like smoke. Nobody will die or suffer any harm at all from standing next to an Electrofag puffer any more than they will from walking past a smoker in the street (and if you want to complain about smokers in the street, think for a moment about who forced us out there).

There is some concern that Electrofag could be used to enforce a ban on real tobacco. To which I will echo the only quotable thing Ed Balls has ever said - so what? Few of us are buying tobacco in the shops anyway. Hide them, make the packs plain, we don't care. Our packs have health warnings in German or Portuguese and we don't know what they say so we don't worry about it. Ban tobacco entirely and 100% of tobacco sold in this country will be black market. No more tax.

They won't ban tobacco because they need the money. ASH won't ban tobacco because if they do that, they're out of a job.

They will try to ban Electrofag 'for the cheeeldren' because it looks like smoking. They'll push those patches that bring me out in red welts and the gum that tastes like a tramp has peed in your mouth. Until a child gets hold of some of the funny-tasting chewing gum, which they are more likely to try than an Electrofag and which will do them far more harm than a real cigarette. Especially if they swallow it.

Electrofag users are smokers. They aren't burning tobacco but they are still smoking and many would love to go back to smoking real cigarettes indoors. Some now prefer Electrofag and there are many reasons for this beyond getting past the ban. You can take one puff and drop it back into your pocket. There's no ash at all. It won't make your fingers yellow. There's no worry about a dying lighter or running out of matches - although a dying battery can have the same effect. I can see why some prefer it to real smoking.

But not me. If the smoking ban were repealed tomorrow I'd be smoking the real thing in the pub. Currently I can't, but Electrofag at least keeps the idea of smoking indoors alive. That's why ASH will try to ban it and will probably succeed using lies and fake data. As they did before.

Electrofag comes in a zero-nicotine option, you know. Non-smokers can try it too. It also comes with non-tobacco flavours so you can take a puff of banana-flavoured steam with no nicotine in it and no real smoke - nothing harmful, no lasting smell and no nicotine. Just flavoured steam. ASH must be scared to death that that idea could get out.

Anyway, real smoke and whisky awaits. Better go and get some food first. It's often a long night.