Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Labour Unite!

Bela Lugosi plays the lead role in the forthcoming film 'Union of Vampires', with Christopher Lee as Count Mandelstein and a decade's collection of white dog-turds as The Lump of Stuff in the PM's Chair.

(Picture exsanguinated from here.)

I didn't photoshop those teeth. Those are his real ones, just starting to protrude as the sun goes down. That's Charlie, one of Mandelstein's 'Cheeeldren of ze night', head politico of the union that is bringing the Brown Gorgon's government into disrepute while simultaneously funding their election campaign.

It makes no sense. If the union wants the Gorgon to win, why are they wrecking the Easter plans of thousands of people who will then blame the government for not doing something about it? And why make it harder for the Gorgon to get re-elected while simultaneously paying for it?

Why doesn't Unite sit quietly until after the election and then kick up the crap? It's only a matter of weeks away.

Charlie says:

“With many of our members working shifts we’re also asking you to make sure as many of our members register for a postal vote.”

Well, far be it from me to suggest that the union reps might be helping members with those postal votes, or collecting them for posting, or anything illegal like that. No, I think Charlie has missed the point. He's been doing too much spinning and has made himself dizzy.

The number of people passing through or hoping to pass through airports over Easter far exceeds the number of people striking in those airports. Even if, by some strange coincidence, every one of those postal votes turned out to be a vote for old Saggy-Face and his party of poopers, the number of people Charlie has enraged in order to achieve this is much greater.

Especially those who have had to save up to afford all Labour's extra taxes on flying.

And those who have had to travel a long way to get to the airport.

And those who have been looking forward to this break for a long time.

And those who, in the recession, know that this break might be the last one they can afford for the foreseeable future.

And those who have already endured the nudie scanner only to be told their flight is cancelled and they can go home after sitting for six hours drinking beer and their car is parked in the car park and now they can't drive it...

Charlie Wheeliebin doesn't care about those people. He is concentrating on making sure all his members vote for Labour United. It does not occur to him for a moment that some of those people whose trips he has cancelled might be his members. It does not occur to him how many shellsuit, Burberry hat and sovereign ring wearers might be left disappointed this Easter. No, he doesn't care at all about anyone but himself and he has absolutely zero ability to consider the consequences of his actions. Perfect Labour party material.

Charlie says:

“We’ve been in touch for the last year or so with Unite members in the key parliamentary marginals. We’ve asked them their voting intentions and what issues matters to them."

You what? Since when was it the business of any union to know what their members' voting intentions are? For what possible reason could this union need that information?

Charlie says: "That has led to a dialogue to firm up Labour support.”

In other words, if they said they weren't going to vote Labour, Charlie's people pressured them until they said they would.

Unite is not a union. It is a cult. With the substitution of a single letter, so is Charlie.

You get into that union and you WILL vote Labour. No matter what you want or think you want, the cult overlords will persuade you and bully you and oppress you and harangue you until you are thinking in the way you are told to think.

If you are in that union and you are pressured to take a postal vote, decline. Vote in person. It is the only way to be sure that your vote isn't tampered with. If you cannot resist the postal vote pressure, fill it in and post it yourself as soon as it arrives, before the Unite cult come around to 'help' with it.

If you are in that union and you have been harangued into saying you are going to vote Labour, keep saying it. In the polling station, no-one can see you vote. Say you voted Labour to the exit pollsters. Where that X really went, nobody will ever know.

If you are a Labour voter, you are actually a Unite voter. They run the party you think you're voting for. There is no Labour party now. There is only the union. A vote for Labour is a vote for strikes and for support only for those union members. The rest of us? They are not interested.

If you want that vampiric face above grinning at you from huge posters all over the country, if you want to wake up every day not knowing whether there will be a bus or a train running, if you want to be dictated to by an elite who you didn't think were even up for election, if you want to be forced to pay union dues even if you are out of work, then vote Labour.

If you don't want to live a Soviet lifestyle, vote for someone else. Anyone else.


almighty said...

vote libertarian. vote ukip. vote monster raving looney. just dont vote stasi!!
im with you LI

Anonymous said...

I always thought voting Labour meant freedom, liberty and tolerance for all. After all, they market themselves as liberal and stand for the working class, their party leadership coming from among the poor, outcast and downtrodden themselves. And they've done much to keep us safe, secure and healthy mind you too. Who else but a caring government would show such concern for my well being. Well it's all settled then, Labour for me next time around. They've done way too much to earn my respect and I'll just have to vote the same way my family's always taught me to vote. Labour is synonomous with the word good in anyone's vocabulary. I mustn't waste my vote on anyone but Labour. And Gordon's such a nice chap.

JuliaM said...

I wonder if there's going to be a last-minute compromise, brokered by Gordoom, that saves all those people's holiday plans.

The payoff to be delivered in a new Labour term, perhaps the repeal of some of Maggie's union legislation?

Or maybe I'm just too damn cynical!

Mark Wadsworth said...

What Julia M says.

But to be fair, Labour were set up as political wing of trade unions all those years ago, why shouldn't this continue? As long as nobody is daft enough to vote for them, then no harm done ... oh ... I see.

subrosa said...

There's an interesting piece about this in this morning's Daily Mail. Guess who's Charlie's bestest mate next to Gordon?

Aye the man with the not so perfect teeth.

Letters From A Tory said...

Just goes to show how weak Labour's genuine support really is when they have to turn to the warped and distorted partners from the past in order to keep their head above water in the polls.

Pogo said...

I don't suppose that the BA strike is likely do have much impact on most Labour voters... They, like most of us, can't afford BA and fly with Ryanair or Easyjet.

The only Labour supporters who might be inconvenienced are the Polly Toynbees of this world as they jet off to their villas in Tuscany - by BA so that they don't have to mix with hoi polloi flying "Chavair".

banned said...

Rather than Bela Lugosi playing a Vampire, destitute Brown needs his head encased in an iron mask thus becoming the C*unt Of Monte Christo.
(Hope that's allowed, I don't usually swear here).

The Sun on Monday had a whole page of big words letting its readership know just who Charlie Wheelan is.

Big Mango said...

"Where that X really went, nobody will ever know"

Actually that is not entirely true. They know EXACTLY how you vote. When you go to the polling station your ballot paper is numbered and checked off a list which contains your name/address and ballot paper number.

Be afraid!

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