Monday, 26 December 2011

Was there a special at the knife shop today?

Two years ago, just before Christmas, there was a fight in our local Tesco. Two elderly ladies had chanced, at the same time, upon the last bag of sprouts. When I heard about this my first thought was to imagine them saying "You take them." "No, you take them." "You take them or I'll thump you." I am not a fan of sprouts and would, if sent to get some, wait until there were none left so I could report "There were none left."

This year people were buying them on the stalk, which mystified me. Surely you're paying for the weight of the stalk, which is even less edible than the sprouts?

People often fight for things I can see no reason to fight for. I would never queue all night or barge into shops to be the first to have the latest gadget. I'd wait a few months until the price came down. Besides, if you're first to have a video phone, who will you call? Nobody else has one yet.

I hope video phones never become popular. Some women wouldn't answer until they'd done their hair and makeup. To be fair, some men too. Personally I'd have a selection of latex masks beside the phone. Lord Lucan, Elvis, Michael Jackson, and so on. If I was feeling vindictive I wouldn't bother with the masks, but I'd have a set of fake hillbilly teeth on standby at all times.

The January sales (which now start around mid-December) have always involved some handbag-swinging and shoulder-barging. Desperate to buy things they don't really need or actually want just because it's cheaper, people batter seven bells out of each other. I have never attended the sales and never will. These days you can just order the stuff online and wait for delivery. Less bother and less bruising.

PC World must be getting desperate. I've been getting three Emails a day which are now at the stage of 'Oh please, please buy something'. Soon they will offer to pay me to take stuff away. I'll let them raise their price first.

Today's sales have taken a new and very unpleasant turn. In London, two people have been stabbed and crowds gathered to get in the way of the emergency services. Old Holborn has video of those crowds, some of whom took the opportunity to pick a fight with the police. I am no fan of the Metropolitan Police, they are one of the reasons I won't visit London because they have interpreted 'anti-terrorist' as 'anti-tourist' and regard anyone carrying a map and camera as a potential terrorist/tourist/legitimate hassle target/DNA donor. besides, London's mayor can't even make the trains run on time. Or at all.

In this instance, however, the police were trying to clear space around a seriously injured man. Somehow they had to fit an ambulance through the London sales crowds and that was never going to be easy. Having those crowds pressing in despite repeated instruction to stay back was not helping.

The police did not stab the man. They were trying to help. Yet I would not be at all surprised to hear about more rioting on the basis that someone was stabbed and the police were involved. "It's the system, man, innit like?"

I doubt any of the rabble read this stuff because I use words of more than one syllable but should one happen by and manage to get this far without total brain burnout, consider this:

Maybe it's not 'the system' that stabs people, loots, burns shops and generally makes other people's lives miserable.

Maybe it's you.

42 comments:

Leg-iron said...

So much attention, troll. Sorry to disappoint but I'm not gay.

Amusing Bunni said...

Wow that troll is annoying. Too bad HE wasn't shopping by the foot locker today! I'd say it's time for the block & delete button.

That was a good video link, and the story, Leggy.
The same rabble is out here, looting, stealing, punching old ladies in the face. It's a zoo, and the monkey's have escaped. I'm shopping online, it's safer, and easier on my blood pressure.

Leg-iron said...

So, troll... I've been thinking of trying new browsers.

What do you reckon on Safari 1.3?

What do you think I'll put up next?

Anonymous said...

you going to have to do some more thinking...lol

Anonymous said...

ok, so racism is just one psycho-operated arm of the sticky-fingered octopus of oppression - the information acquired by immigration control is used as political propaganda to build up a head of racist or anti-immigrant steam amongst the electorate in order to justify further immigration control, population control, monitoring, and fear-inspiring summary detention and deportation. the immigration system is exploited by racists - but ultimately it\'s about control and fleecing people. yes, obviously, starting looting-wars in other parts of the world will also allow the government to justify immigration control aimed at preventing those enemies, which we have cultivated, from blowing-up trains - and the welfare state, that mark of civilzation which differentiates us from those we rob, becomes yet another precious fortress-in-the-air which we have to protect at all costs.

Anonymous said...

ok, so racism is just one psycho-operated arm of the sticky-fingered octopus of oppression - the information acquired by immigration control is used as political propaganda to build up a head of racist or anti-immigrant steam amongst the electorate in order to justify further immigration control, population control, monitoring, and fear-inspiring summary detention and deportation. the immigration system is exploited by racists - but ultimately it\'s about control and fleecing people. yes, obviously, starting looting-wars in other parts of the world will also allow the government to justify immigration control aimed at preventing those enemies, which we have cultivated, from blowing-up trains - and the welfare state, that mark of civilzation which differentiates us from those we rob, becomes yet another precious fortress-in-the-air which we have to protect at all costs.

Leg-iron said...

Thanks, troll.

I know know exactly who you are and have no need for further fishing and cold-reading.

Freebird Jussy said...

The troll:-
13:23 goodbye angry people.
24 December 2011 14:11

?????

Anonymous said...

lol

go on then leg iron

Anonymous said...

lol

put up or shut up

Anonymous said...

oh dear he hasnt got time to play

come on blagger, i know who and where you lot are

what about me?

Leg-iron said...

Rocketmail. 128 bit encryption on a six-word message. Man, you need help.

You won't get any here. All you'll get is Emails passed to Pat's investigation with all headers intact.

If you're not the Pseudopat troll, now's the time to say it. I suspect you might not be because there's no antismoking in your drivel.

Have you just been playing the part, Sparky?

Anonymous said...

he he he

bluff blag and more blag

the trouble is leggy the more you bluff the more desperate you appear.

the thing about sparky and rocketmail is that those six words...im talking in tongues like you know.

post what ya got fat face.

put up or shut up

Anonymous said...

pats investigation???

have you seen the porno stuff she has posted...apparently blogger wont remove it unless they get a court order...great inint.

she is as bad you....plenty of talk and no proof.

why dosent she show the harrassment and you put up or shut up?

trolling is no offence...especially when you keep asking for it.

you can end it anytime you want, its called comment moderation available with any browser...lmao

Leg-iron said...

Spark Up.

You play a good game, boy. But the game is finished. You concentrate on this blog because you have been booted off the others. Your proxy is weak and easily breached. You are not as computer-savvy as you imagine.

You believed I could see you through your webcam for a little while not because it is technically possible but because you are paranoid. You think that your neighbours watch you and that the CIA even know you exist. I do not blame you for this. I have convinced people they will get cancer through their webcams while reading my smoking rants. I have also played and won the cold-reading game with someone on the other side of the planet. It's not just you. People in general are easily duped.

Don't you see it yet? All the Spark Up games vanished when you played this new one. You didn't have the intelligence to keep both going.

You have not found me on the antismoker forums where I play with the real Righteous because you have not been there. You are not one of them, Spark Up. If you could only see it, you are one of us.

As a smoker, why would you visit those sites? As far as I know, only Junican and myself have probed the Hell they created.

Look, Spark Up, I know you like to play internet games. So do I. I like to play mind games too and I am merciless at them. In real life as in internet.

But this one has become dull. Get a new persona and start a game with real arguments. You don't have to agree with them, just give us something to fight about.

If you're going to play a game, play. All you are doing is being a git.

Leg-iron said...

Oh, and it was seven words if you take the hyphenated one as two.

So, do I post the headers now?

Anonymous said...

post away leg iron.

Anonymous said...

mind games...wow

Anonymous said...

you can stop the trolling anytime you want?

its easy...comment moderate and i go away.

i plead with you to post any information you have on me, before you comment moderate.

mind games....wow

Leg-iron said...

If I was gay I'd be flattered by your obsession. I am neither.

Sentence construction, lack of capitals, I mean really we are not talking 1970s O level here.

Okay, Spark Up, here it is. I was, until this moment, all for open borders. From this moment on, this blog is for slam-the-door-and-keep-the-buggers-out borders. You can relax in the knowledge that you are responsible for this change.

You have changed something here tonight, Spark Up. Are you proud?

spark up said...

thanks, it really is the best solution.

im sure you will sleep better knowing the humiliation you would have endured when all you blagging had been exposed is now over.

you can only bluff for so long



sleep well

spark up.

Leg-iron said...

Okay, sparkytroll, you are aware that Pat Nurse has been in contact with the police over your activities and that you have claimed responsibility.

Therefore I am legally obliged to pass on all I know to them. Not to you.

From tomorrow morning, this passes out of my hands.

Spark Up, if you really want to ride this train, it just stopped being a game. Your dawn-raid imaginings just became a reality.

Nasty? You made it so. Game over.

Leg-iron said...

Spark up

Bluffing is for poker. We are not playing poker.

Confess, evildoer, or take the consequences.

spark up said...

oh dear just as i thought the blagging is over...you go and give it some more....look silly arse it aint going to work, if anything it makes the trolling more permanent.

game over is when you stop comments being posted and stop asking for trolls to play with


please leggy...your mind games are no where near as good as you think they are.

just make sure it passes through your hands and ends up in the shithouse pan and then wash your hands.

please no more blagging...comment moderation works.

this is my last post with you on the matter...then its trolling only and no chat, no comment, nothing.

your choice

Leg-iron said...

As you wish, Sparky.

Rob F said...

Sprouts? Uurgh (sorry if I managed to invent a new word, there). How did anyone figure out that they were edible? They taste disgusting.

Ooh, and hello again, Dickie.

Bill Sticker said...

Leggy, will you do us all a favour? Ignore it. All your regulars know this guy's an idiot. The 'I know where you are' stuff is just hyperbole. Yawn.

There's no intention or ability to back up any threat. All you have here is a sad little tit who's nothing more than a pathetic attention seeker with a keyboard and a problem with people who are far better writers than he / she / it will ever be.

Only delete, and keep up the good work.

JuliaM said...

"I hope video phones never become popular."

Too late! The iPhone has been a videophone for over a year, though it only works with pother iPhones or iPads.

JuliaM said...

"Today's sales have taken a new and very unpleasant turn."

Oh, it's not the sales. When the dust clears, I'll bet anything this'll turn out to have been over something even less understandable than the latest craze in trainers.

My money's on it being gang-related.

Barnacle Bill said...

My mother's partner is trying to set up video calling between her and the rest of the family.
Can't he not understand why we moved as far away as we did, not just around the corner!

Antony said...

Unless you have actually physically shat on this twat's doorstep, and therefore he can have a rightful and proper grudge - ignore the illiterate prick.

Maybe he is a former Labour-produced student of yours, and was promised A***'s all his worthless little life, and is now righteously upset when real life smack's him hard in the face.

Anonymous said...

IMHO moderated comments is better than log-in comments only, as some of us don't like FB and the rest of it, are not eager to create permanent IDs just to be able to post comments but create potential cookies for FB, Google, Blogger, etc. to keep tabs on our where-abouts on the internet - whether it be for sending us specific advertisements, spam emails or just plain spying on individuals and their political affiliations. So to me, comment moderation still allows anyone to make the occasional comment, where-as requiring permanent IDs tends to keep some legitimate comments off the boards and thus lessens participation and input of ideas into discussions - which is what may be the goal of the nuisance person who is of low self-esteem.

Leg-iron also said...

that he knows :

who the troll is

where the troll is

and will give this information to the police and on his blog

why have deleted these bluffs Leg-iron and also your list of taunts to the troll?

Anonymous said...

As a follower and a friend of your blog and somebody who enjoys reading your posts,it really is a shame that you took part in baiting a troll and then allowed us to see what has been posted by the troll and the havoc it causes

I hope things return to normal as soon as possible.

Dioclese said...

Beats me what satisfaction anyine gets from messing about with the comments section. Probable the same people who stab folk in Oxford Street. Same mentality anyway!

Love your comment on PC World. I have an Acer laptop and am in the market for a new one. They have the one I want at £150 off as a clearnace 'bargain'. Thing is I can get £200 off online from the same folk I bought this one from. They need to get real really, don't they.

I'm off to Cyprus for some New Year relaxation. Have a great New Year, mate.

john miller said...

Blimey.

Takes me back a few years.

Playground stuff when the gypos hit town.

Couldn't watch the video at OH's all the way through - the blood pressure started going through the roof.

Woman on a Raft said...

You believed I could see you through your webcam for a little while not because it is technically possible but because you are paranoid.

Are you sure about that, Leg-iron? Mr Raft is the sanest of men but even he has put a little sticking plaster over the camera in his lap-top as he thinks there is a chance it can be remotely activated.

I'm not affected yet because my machine is much older and never had a camera.

JuliaM said...

"...as he thinks there is a chance it can be remotely activated. "

It requires software to be installed to do it (thought it'd be perfectly possible to do that with a virus). A school in the US got in trouble for activating just that sort of software (ostensibly installed for anti-theft purposes) to spy on kids using school laptops at home....

evil monkey said...

so the troll stops posting at 230 last night and recommences at 830 this morning. Talk about dedication, its christmas, does it not have friends and family to annoy?

Btw where are these anti smoker forums? Sounds like a fun way to kill an idle hour

Leg-iron said...

Moderation would mean nobody sees their comment until I get a minute to go through the posts.

All I do is visit the comment list, click on his posts and hit 'spam'. Then he doesn't even get the 'comment deleted' mess. All the work he's done today simply vanishes.

He was on here for six hours. He does nothing else, goes nowhere else, and has no life. It took me less than a minute to erase six hours of his life.

Police? No. He's no threat to me. He did, however, threaten Pat sufficiently to make her report him
and whatever he does to help track him for that investigation is fine with me.

He'll be back, but the inconvenience he causes here is temporary. When I next check the comments he will vanish again. Without trace.

boris blunderbuss (governor of londinium) said...

i agree with leg-iron - move along, nothing to see here. the police protection squad were just putting into practice their latest training in advanced bereavement-counselling - a specially designed crash-course, which focuses on treating all members of our diverse society as individuals, giving due consideration to those of different faiths, and displaying sensitivity to the needs of our ethnic minorities.

moreover, in the name of fair and accurate reporting, may i respectfully point out that the officer concerned did not in fact deploy a taser, but a medically-approved therapeutic electrode, specially developed by the royal college of psychiatrists for emergency first-aid use in the field.

the state is always there when you most need it said...

20:54

yes, boris - i bet the distressed family members and friends, who were desperate to be at the side of their dying brother, were really glad that they paid their taxes and were therefore thoughtfully relieved, by the overflowing compassion of the all-caring nanny-state, of those intimate last duties which we each feel bound to perform for our nearest-and-dearest on their departure from this crazy communally-controlled life.

opinions powered by SendLove.to