(I'm supposed to be working but procrastination is more fun)
Fifty old photos, fifty captions.
The photos are here and my attempts at captions are here -
1. The ladies took their turn in helping to fill the dirty bomb.
2. He took umbrage at her not being a virgin... so she stabbed him.
3. The Knobhead Express encounters an unexpected tree.
4. "Do you want a smoke, or are you chicken?"
5. "I'm sure I heard someone speak."
6. Never again would Roger blow a kiss at a bear.
7. Cedric was shocked to note that the cycling skeleton wore a wholly unsuitable hat.
8. Mavis thought that maybe it was time to take personal hygiene seriously.
9. The fat hairy kid was never much use in goal.
10. The child obesity inspectors call.
11. Emily and Josephine demonstrate the art of wardrobe cycling.
12. When it was Johnny's turn, the other kids substituted Easy Alice with a hen.
13. Rubber. If his father had known about it, he wouldn't be here.
14. Smoking stunts growth. This man is 54.
15. Boxing, sponsored by Scottish Widows.
16. Piglet's anti-child shield seemed to be working.
17. "See, Bob? I told you a bull terrier would never attack a gorilla carrying a parasol."
18. He had been dead fifty years, but his chat-up lines were still incredibly effective.
19. Showtime at the Baked Bean Feast.
20. "No problem. It's double-barrelled"
21. "You said you wanted to stroke my pussy.. Where are you going?"
22. "I'm not going through all that again. This parrot is dead and I want my money back."
23. The look in the cat's eyes said "Call the police".
24. There is no more secure mode of child transport than the firmly clenched buttock.
25. Quoth the raven: "What the fuck?"
26. Every winter, the potholes on the M25 are worse.
27. The Crufts' new 'Smoky-Drinky' category.
28. She knew the heads hadn't seen her because the trousers had not reacted.
29. The NHS recruits a new goat-sliding consultant.
30. The Russians had managed to get in on one ticket.
31. Deborah Arnott arrives for her pre-TV makeup session... three days before the show.
32. When he married her, she neglected to mention her addiction to sprouts.
33. This year's beer festival was limited to one drink per participant.
34. At the ' Miss Hideously Ugly but Good Figure' finals.
35. America. Land of the free... and some very small psychos.
36. "Goooorrrrdonn. It's tiiiime".
37. The perils of the travelling peanut salesman.
38. A young Madonna demonstrates the correct way to punt a gherkin.
39. AAAAH! DIET FOOD!
40. "Shut up woman, or I'll swat you with a dwarf."
41. The gin trap. They get in, drink the gin, and they're too pissed to get back out.
42. They don't want it, and they have uniforms. Don't mess with the uniforms.
43. "It's an unusual shape," said the cat, "but it's neatly brushed."
44. The railways demonstrate their new cut-price engine horns.
45. The rest of the band never understood why Ozzy insisted on wearing that dress.
46. How modern teaching sees mathematics.
47. On reflection, Death decided the scythe was more his sort of thing.
48. "I'm sorry. This has never happened to me before."
49. Another two ministers face the sack.
50. "So, Santa. Did you bring everything?"