Visitors have gone and most of the clearing-up is done. I have enough empty bottles to start my own recycling centre. Quite a few nearly-empty too. I'll deal with those later.
Despite being the only smoker here, I did not see one instance of hand-waving or nose-wrinkling. Not one fake cough, only real ones, mostly caused by drinking booze down the wrong pipe. See, antismokers? It is not necessary for nonsmokers to be like you. You're the odd ones.
Strangely, nobody died of second hand smoke and nobody even suggested smoking outside. Outside? That's where all the fresh air is, for anyone who wants it. It's moving around a lot today, so fast you wouldn't need to inhale. Just open your mouth and wait. Although maybe not, there's a lot of water flying around in the fresh air at the moment. Imagine how clean it will be! Don't bother God today, folks. He's washing his air.
Not one liver failed, nobody gained any noticeable amount of weight, no heart attacks and no spontaneous popping of the eyeballs. We tried really, really hard but none of those terrible things came to pass.
Ah well, New Year next. That usually puts Christmas in the shade. I suppose I'd better let some liver grow back over the next few days.
Right, time to browse the news for lunacy. It doesn't usually take very long.
14 comments:
You're only still alive because you didn't eat enough chocolate buttons.
Chocolate pennies, you mean. A must-have at Christmas. I haven't had a Christmas without chocolate pennies in half a century.
They don't taste as good these days so I don't eat so many, but it's tradition.
Apparently there's a bit of a ruck going on in a church...in Bethlehem atm. Priests with brooms fighting about cleaning or something ecclesiastical.....
Maybe someone swept out the stable?
Oh, I forgot to mention. I didn't check personally but I don't think anyone's nipples dropped off as a result of my smoking.
I'd better check the hoover bag, just in case.
A panda was named 'woman of the year' by the BBC ( ok slight exagerration) and Tony Blair better watch out as his obituary is being written by the beeb. He's obviously outlived his usefulness as chief warmonger and bringer of death and destruction.
that was amanda ya pillock
Dickie, do you have nothing better to do than copy and paste your own earlier comments?
View my profile and send me emails if you want. I know how to hit the delete button, too.
Oh sorry, you've already been deleted!
Dearie me...
Piss off troll.
Ah, but all that fresh water flying around today has been contaminated by first-hand and post-exhaled smoke.
So any anti-smoker out in it today should be put into quarantine straight away.
Don't want them infecting anyone do we?
I've just heard on C4 news that Cheetah, the chimp which featured in the Tarzan films has died at the age of 80. Not only does 80 outstrip the usual lifespan of a chimp in captivity (around 50, 40 in the wild) but Cheetah was partial to alcohol and the occasional cigarette :)
The Beeb would have kept schtum about the boozing and smoking :>
If only he'd stuck to a fruit-only lifestyle.......
not me @18.26
"Oh, I forgot to mention. I didn't check personally but I don't think anyone's nipples dropped off as a result of my smoking."
Thanks. I was going to ask!
Z.
word verification "verful"
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