Visitors have gone and most of the clearing-up is done. I have enough empty bottles to start my own recycling centre. Quite a few nearly-empty too. I'll deal with those later.
Despite being the only smoker here, I did not see one instance of hand-waving or nose-wrinkling. Not one fake cough, only real ones, mostly caused by drinking booze down the wrong pipe. See, antismokers? It is not necessary for nonsmokers to be like you. You're the odd ones.
Strangely, nobody died of second hand smoke and nobody even suggested smoking outside. Outside? That's where all the fresh air is, for anyone who wants it. It's moving around a lot today, so fast you wouldn't need to inhale. Just open your mouth and wait. Although maybe not, there's a lot of water flying around in the fresh air at the moment. Imagine how clean it will be! Don't bother God today, folks. He's washing his air.
Not one liver failed, nobody gained any noticeable amount of weight, no heart attacks and no spontaneous popping of the eyeballs. We tried really, really hard but none of those terrible things came to pass.
Ah well, New Year next. That usually puts Christmas in the shade. I suppose I'd better let some liver grow back over the next few days.
Right, time to browse the news for lunacy. It doesn't usually take very long.