Sunday, 18 December 2011

Happy Herman's Christmas Cheer.

This week I received my annual box of wine from one of the companies I work for. A little surprising, considering they have asked for very little work this year, but appreciated. It's not a 'box of wine' in the sense of a box with a bag inside. It's a bigger box with twelve bottles inside, one for each of the twelve days of Christmas.

I reciprocate in a small way. I don't have the bank balances of these successful business owners by any means so last year I sent signed copies of 'Fears of the Old and the New' and this year it was 'Dark Thoughts and Demons'.

It seems I'm not the only cheapskate sending books. Herman van Munster has send the world's leaders a series of essays on 'Happiness'. There isn't much happiness in my stories, I'm afraid, although there was a Christmas tale in 'Fears'.

Perhaps he should have sent a series of essays on 'listening' or 'actually working for the people who pay them' or simply on 'how to not be a total git all the time'.

All the same, it did tickle me to see someone who looks the way he does sending out books on happiness. It's a bit like being told to cheer up by Death.

Just before he swings the scythe.


F***W*T TW****R said...

I take it you saw the picture of Sven Goran Rompuyssen and his elf, the pound shop Bonaparte.

sbc said...

yes it must have seemed funny, i gave our butcher a hairbrush and a bag of nails to show our gratitude for his services especially with the wasps nest and squeaky shithouse door

did they accidentally fall off the back of a lorry? said...

funny...i thought it was the companies that sent their customers the booze at christmas, not the other way 'round...unless you're a valued low-paid serviceman doing essential dirty-work - a dustman, milkman, or laundry assistant, for example.

are you sure it isn't the cia for whom you've been doing jobs?

in which case, in the spirit of ecological brotherhood, you could send them back the empties, for recycling, with a drunkenly scrawled thank-you note stuffed in one of the bottle-necks.

hangemall said...

WTF? Sorry,, L-i, I followed the link and only saw at the top of the page a couple of pantomime dames before they put their costumes on. I didn't dare read any further.

WV=crops. Should have had that for your previous post.

pres obombaklaart said...

in true xmas spirit, michelle and i will be sending out complimentary arms shipments to all countries, friend and foe alike - although obviously, due to the traditional postage problems which bedevil us at this time of year, america's allies will get their seasonal ammunitions a little earlier than the rest of the other words, before being fired. michelle's doing all the wrapping and has picked out some real classy gift-paper which is even more expensive than the prezzies themselves - the old girl really comes into her own during the festive period, it's such a meaningful period for all true committed christians.

Frank Davis said...

Rumpy also writes bad Japanese poetry too. Must be a real bummer to get one of them.

mrs missile obama - happiness is a warm gun said...


oh yes, i'm practically oozing depleted uranium to all men - and i just can't resist playing with the toys before we pack them into santa's slay. my man nearly pissed himself when he opened old van grumpuy's christmas box...he must be the mother of all scroogey european motherfuckers. well...we put our heads together and decided that, to avoid causing undignified transatlantic cafuffle, the most diplomatic solution would for barack to reciprocate by sending the eu president a classic beatles album - one of our all-time faves, you know.

yoko nono said...


yes, he send me one, dirty old belgian fuckwat in dirty old raincoat - say he love my musical ditties, fucking one-track liar.

john stropon said...


hey guys, take it easy...

you know what mrs, i don't know why i ever bothered writing the fucking song - you just don't get it, do you, you pair of dosey over-pampered yankee cunts? pop some acid, play it backwards, and maybe you'd reach a transcendental state where you could dig the bleedin' fuckin' obvious anti-war message.

but cool yeah, peace and love man...

as vor van romperboy - i'll 'ave 'im.

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