Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Book idea.

The trouble with new ideas is that you want to drop everything else and do the new thing now. This means that nothing will ever get done so the impulse must be resisted at all costs.

The people I do some work for send me a box of wine every year. I send them copies of the latest book. It's a bit like when you're a kid and your parents give you Action Man's tank and you give them something you made out of toilet rolls and tinfoil but these company people, like my parents, have much more money than me.

One phoned to thank me today. In the conversation he mentioned that he liked short stories because they are ideal for reading while engaged in Nature's way of dealing with the indigestible. Okay, let's be blunt. He reads them on the toilet.

Other writers might be offended by the suggestion that their book might be hanging next to the toilet but my brain is wired differently. The 'Idea' light came on. I thought 'Aha. What the world needs is Bog Book'.

The ideal toilet companion. Very short tales for those quick visits, longer tales for serious emptying sessions and of course, the 'scare it out of you' section for the times when you're convinced it has corners. All sorted according to expected session requirements.

It must wait. It must. I have a request for a short in the works, I have the Christmas eBook (no time to get it edited and ready for ordering print versions) and I have a book review to finish.

The Bog Book must happen. The world is ready, and full of shit, and needs this book.

But not today.


selsey.steve said...

Please write the bog-book soon. I NEED one desperately!

Leg-iron said...

Hang on, Steve, it's coming.

I can see its head.

subrosa said...

I well recall Swiss friends having two rolls of paper in their toilet. One was blank and the other had either a quote, a proverb or a joke on each sheet. They did this to encourage their children to sit on the toilet. Clever idea.

A bog book's a grand idea. Most men seem to read in the toilet. Why I'll never know.

F***W*T TW****R said...

Subrosa. Because, like smoking a pipe, you become a: forgotton about, b: invisible or c: both. Whichever one, you're left alone in peace and quiet. I think I may install a mini bar in mine.

Angry Exile said...

Bog book? Half the blokes I know have a bog library, but anything of Leg-iron's would be a good addition.

Russ said...

Absolutely right FT, It's the only place to get p&q.

Russ said...

That just reminds me, being ex-mil, a mate of mine has the 4 Marksmanship Principles on a plaque next to his [bog]:

1) The position and hold must be firm enough to support the weapon.

2) Sight alignment\aiming must be correct.

3) The weapon must point naturally at the target.

4) The shot must be released and followed through without disturbing the position.

Always handy to have a reminder.

zaphod said...

That reminds me Leg-Iron, when i came home last night i remember going to the toilet i leant on the wall with one hand, the other hand covering the light from my eyes and ended up pissing in one of the dirty washing bin bags.

which one though?, there are 5 bin bags full, will she notice?, ah sod it i will blame the alsation if she starts.

Animal Outrage said...

reading books about cruelty to animals and sitting on the bog reading about them is where all my best ideas came from.

Ben said...


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