Monday, 26 December 2011

Aftermath

Visitors are still here and have to be carefully watched since one of them made Irish coffees using Glen Orchy! Sacrilege! That was why I had Black Bottle available. The Penderyn has been sampled and put away because while I can grit my teeth at the abuse of Glen Orchy (it's the cheapest single malt around), putting coffee in the Penderyn will make for a very chilly atmosphere around here. I have to admit, a single malt does make a very nice Irish coffee, but if they want more they'll be using Black Bottle.

I can't be annoyed. I have a USB microscope which means I don't have to sell all that N gauge because I can see it again -


At a scale of 2 mm to 1 foot, it had been getting difficult. Now I can patch up the paintwork even though no human eye could ever see it. I'll still sell off some rolling stock. I have far too much of it and some is never used.

It's not the microscope Neal Asher described, it's a Veho VMS-004. I installed it on the laptop to make it mobile.The frustrating part is that there are no insects to play with at this time of year.

Speaking of playing with insects, I see our resident dickhead had a cold and lonely Christmas on his own once again, eating a Co-Op turkey sandwich and a single-serving Christmas pudding while hunched over his Macintosh that's running Windows. You really should get a better proxy, troll, and put some tape over your webcam. That free French one isn't one of the best. You get what you pay for.

Santa must have left him some coal because he hasn't gone into hibernation. Had your Christmas bath yet, troll? No hurry, it's not as if anyone wants to spend time in your company anyway.

He now plans to fill the comments with long blank posts which I will delete if they get in the way because there is nothing amusing in them at all. I will keep the copies sent to me by Blogger in case Pat ever needs them as evidence. These 'troll tests' of his are not worth bothering about. I will never ban him from the site because he's just so much fun but like all those with toddler mentality, an occasional sideswipe with a rolled-up Beano is called for. Expect him to claim the deletions as victories even though he is the only one who'll get deleted and the country will resound with laughter at his expense.

Okay, that's Christmas done. I have to take my time with this Penderyn because it's a rare treat. This is the 'Madeira' version and it's very smooth indeed. They make Brecon gin too, and while I'm no afficionado of gin I hear it's very good. It also comes in the tall thin bottle with an inch-thick base, which makes it less easy to knock over.

Oh, the word 'blockage' in the last post attracted some kind of psychoanalyst. Apparently I am in denial about some childhood trauma that never happened but it did but I blocked it out so I don't think it happened but it is affecting me even though I have no memory of it or something along those lines.

I recall my childhood. It was great. No money, but lots of woodland and frogs and lizards and fire-meddling and everything that's banned now. All those things were free. We didn't need money to play with them. Well, a few pennies for the chemicals for explosives and matches, but that was all.

No Xboxes, no DVD or video, not because we couldn't afford them but because they hadn't been invented yet. We didn't feel the need for them. There was no childhood trauma.

No, psychoanalyst, there is no secretly loving and caring me beneath this exterior. There is no 'new man' in here. It's rage-filled smoky-drinker all the way to the middle. You want to find out why? It's simple. The smoking ban. Can you fix that? No? Well then, there is nothing else to fix.

Well, looks like I'm going to be branded 'Censor' by our very own village idiot for deleting long blank posts full of nothing. The irony is not lost on me.

I'll bet it's lost on him.

23 comments:

The Filthy Engineer said...

That first comment on your last post was not written by me. Someones playing silly buggers.

FE

Amusing Bunni said...

Enjoy your booze and prezzies, Leggy!
Happy Boxing Day too.
The troll should be hit upside the head with a big sack of coal.

Rob F said...

I've met those psychoanalyst types before.

One of them was determined to find out the real reason why I wanted to get out of an Open University presentation.

He fixed me with his beady, penetrating eyes and somehow completely failed to see that I was in bloody agony from snapping my anterior cruciate ligament the night before.

Counsellors? Keep 'em. Having a few good beers with close friends is miles better.

Johnnyrvf said...

Macintosh running windows? Says it all really.

Anonymous said...

Not too sure about the Pendryn LI. Saw a bottle in Morrisons on special offer, and remembering your preferences decided to give it a try.
Not the right taste for me, although these things are very subjective. Any way it still went down well, but it's back to the Balvenie 12 from now on. That goes down even better.
Keep up the good work.

Leg-iron said...

FE - he's in detention for a few days. Let him stew.

Bunni - I've just had to make a mercy dash to the shops to replenish the whisky! Can't have the visitors forced into my expensive stuff.

RobF - if we don't all have a psychosis, they're out of a job ;)

Johnnyrvf - Indeed. I even have his monitor details here. That proxy server of his is rubbish.

Anon - it could be partly the rarity that attracts me. Living in the North of Scotland, I can get every type of whisky - except that one!

They do have a peaty version, which I haven't tried yet. That'll be next on my list.

Woman on a Raft said...

One of the best but strangest toys we had as children was the giant cardboard box a wardrobe had been delivered in.

It was large enough for a crew of three, so we crawled in to it and lay on our backs, our knees tucked up, and rolled around playing Moonshot.

We gave incomprehensible messages to Houston Over, who ever he was, and passing adults named Roger Copy would be kind enough to mumble messages back.

Anonymous said...

sad, pathetic, have a good one leggy,
sam

andy said...

Irish coffees using Glen Orchy! ??

Oh God the horror of it.....

honest....

I know it isn't strictly an 'Irish' coffee but one must use Morgans Rum.....lots of dissolved sugar.....and reheat carefully once rum added to coffee to give the cream the best floatation properties....

Topped with crushed Cadbury Flake............

You amateur....




As for 'troll'...do grow up please. I accept you are in a fit of 'pique' but just let it wash over mate...

evil monkey said...

merry xmas LI!!! Been meaning to try the Penderyn for a while now, its on the list but for now will be seeing in the new year with a big bottle of Singletons and a large box of Romeo y Julietta cigars bought dirt cheap from my trip to Lebanon last week.

btw when did you get a pet troll? Cute but clearly needs house training

Leg-iron said...

WoaR - the big cardboard box was THE must-have toy! Spaceship, racing car, boat, it could be anything.

Left to themselves I think most modern toddlers would agree.

evil monkey said...

Also try this for size, hot milk + dessert spoon of cocoa powder + dessert spoon of honey + large glug of Magno Spanish brandy.

Leg-iron said...

Anon - if the troll was a woman I'd be flattered. I haven't had so much attention in years.

Andy - the best I've tried was with coffee-flavoured liqueur, I think it was called Tia Maria. Coffee flavoured booze hidden in coffee, brilliant.

evil monkey - the Singleton is dangerous, it's far too easy to drink. Very, very nice way to hit the edge of oblivion though.

Leg-iron said...

Troll - you have nothing to threaten me with. No argument, no disagreement, nothing. DES at least had a stance, a position from which his insults flowed. I don't care about the insults. You can keep doing that all you want but what is the point of you?

You have made no attempt to shift my point of view, given me nothing to consider, nothing to discuss. DES had a particular viewpoint. All you have are blank posts and a blank mind. You are a waste of space.

Do you have an opinion? On anything? I'll tell you what you do have. You have a monitor set to 1440x900 with a 24-bit colour depth. A gamer's monitor. Oh, and a lousy proxy.

Come up with an argument and we'll argue. Tell me what you want to fight about and we'll fight.

If all you want is control, you lost a long time ago. I met your type when I was homeless and know what drives you nuts.

Yes, Righteous. We've met before.

andy said...

Ah yes, Tia Maria....

Agreed, tis up there in the flavour stakes but at only 17% just stumbles at the last hurdle.....

Once mixed with coffee etc % gets to about 8%.....might as well have a stella.

One way around the problem is to actually use the chosen tipple as the medium used to filter through the coffee.....honest....

Need heaps of sugar for right effect though and one wouldn't want to get diabetes before the acute alcohol poisoning kicks in.

I am just trying to help here....

nisakiman said...

Re your psychobabbling poster, he should check out the supermarkets here in Greece. You can buy something called Flup (or Flop or similar), and it says on the packet: "Clears blockages fast!" Not sure if you put it in your tea or what, but it's got to be easier than all that psychoanalysis stuff...

If he gives me his address, I'll send him some to try on one of his victims, er, patients.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

You described my Christmas, right down to the individual Christmas Pud, except the sandwich was M&S chicken and I made it myself with spelt, sunflower & honey bread, iceberg lettuce and real mayonnaise (well, Hellmann's say it is). I haven't had the individual Christmas Pudding yet because £2.39 seemed a bit steep for brandy butter or cream and I'm hoping for a discount in the sales. I do have a home made Christmas cake from my friend Ant, who also supplied the Pudding and some Japonica Jelly, vintage Oct 2011.

My computer doesn't have a camera that I can see (but does have Windows, so maybe you can look through those?), and I do not have a Macintosh, not even a dirty one (I lost my mankie jacket before Christmas).

Hope you had a happy Christmas and I wish you the best for a happy New Year and 2012 (Olympics! Oh. Goody.).

DP

W/v whinger - who, me?

Leg-iron said...

DP - Home made brandy butter is better, cheaper, and has more brandy in it ;)

Dan said...

Far, far back in the mists of time when I was a nematologist (nematologists are legless entomologists; just visit any Nematology conference five minutes after the bar opens) I regularly dealt with many small, near-brainless animals (I was working in the same building as the International Politics dept) and when not using an old Carl Zeiss Jena stereo-microscope, used a magnifier called an Optivisor.

It consists of a headband to which is attached a mount for a pair of magnifying lenses; it gives you good, stereoscopic magnified vision and is comfortable to wear. It also doesn't interfere with spectacles, either. Might be worth a try for if you get sick of the USB magnifier?

Leg-iron said...

Dan - that does sound interesting. Thanks.

Surreptitious Evil said...

"1440x900 with a 24-bit colour depth."

Sounds like a bog-standard 15" Macbook Pro? Like mine. Although I haven't been trolling anybody, never mind you. Church bells are supposed to be good for the scaring away of trolls. Apparently their ears are quite sensitive.

And, I'm afraid, I sometimes have to run either XP or Win7 on the Mac. Parallels mostly does it okay-ish, although it did have problems with 32-bit apps on 64-bit Vista.

Elby the Beserk said...

Um. Coffee with Scotch or a Scottish Malt is NOT Irish coffee. OK?Irish coffee has - believe it or not - Irish Whiskey in it.

No charge has been made for this advice. Hic.

Leg-iron said...

My mother went on a trip to Dublin with her boozy friends last summer. She now wants Bushmills in her Irish coffee and has developed a liking for Guinness.

That might not persist though, because when I was in Dublin some years back, the Guinness there was much, much better than what we get here.

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