Wednesday, 7 December 2011

No more hard drugs.

I avoid all forms of medication because most drugs have side-effects that are worse than what you had in the first place. Every day I get generous offers of discount pharmaceuticals by Email, usually starting 'Dear Mr. Floppy...'

That bit still works despite the warnings on the baccy and despite the same warnings on the booze. Just can't seem to kill it unless I think about Deborah Arnott. So, no Viagra here, not yet anyway.

The NHS supply this to men whose flexible friend refuses to develop a stiff upper lip. Quite right too, it's a medical issue that the NHS can fix. There are those who insist the NHS should not be involved and there is some logic these days in keeping medical problems well away from them. Some say the NHS 'should not be using my tax money to fix people who are ill' and the same people insist we must keep the NHS while not allowing anyone to use it. Ah, reality is so difficult to get a grip on for some people.

Now it seems your NHS-sponsored bonkathons are to be rationed. You can have two goes a month and that's it. Married men can sell their spare ones on the internet. It's back to the old lollipop sticks and elastic bands for anyone who gets a bit frisky at the wrong time of the month.

Viagra does have some potentially nasty side effects, which is a little odd considering that it was originally designed to treat some other ailment, was found to be no good at that but is now sold because of its unusual side-effect in the trouser region. Still, it's not safe for everyone and so anyone thinking of getting this hard drug really should only get it after a doctor has checked it won't kill you. If it does, the funeral director will have to drill a hole in the coffin lid and they charge extra for that. Although I understand it's free to have a little flag on the end.

So, what is likely to happen? It's obvious really. Those daily spam Emails keep coming for a reason - people are buying dodgy willie-pills from them already. When the NHS restricts this medication, those using it will simply buy from the criminals. People who would be advised by a doctor to avoid these drugs will not be so advised by the criminals. Some will be fakes and some will contain dangerous additives.

This is already happening with tobacco and booze and soon it will happen with prescription drugs. The criminals will flourish and we'll all be told we're very naughty for funding terrorism. By those who seek to control us. Um...

It seems to me that it doesn't matter who you buy stuff from any more. We're going to get terrorised anyway. At least the criminals don't terrorise all of us at once and they charge less too.

But hey, as long as the NHS smoking cessation Gestapo and the five-a-day forcefeeding officer get to keep their BMWs, who gives a stuff about the patients? They just clutter the place up. Get rid of them and the NHS won't need doctors or nurses either and they'll then save enough money to put deep-pile carpets throughout the admin block and employ knob inspectors alongside the smoke-sniffers and the waistline measurers.

Funding criminals and terrorists? We already are!

15 comments:

kitler said...

Fuck doctors, I hate that the fuckers get to decide whether I can or cannot have something I have decided I need.

If I want viagra I'll go buy it from my mates, like I do for any other drug I want. If they have taken it and not died thats good enough for me and its my risk to take.

thefrollickingmole said...

Here in Oz we are supposed to ask everyone, old ladies, young blokes etc if they have taken a little blue pill today.

Chuck a vasodialator (heart medication usualy) on top of a LBP and their blood pressure will drop till it stops...

On an amusing not my brother who is into a rather swinging lifestyle had his first ever LBP at one of the horizontal folk dancing meetings, he had an adverse reeaction and kept fainting, but his todger didnt let up for quite some time.

So hes off the LBP's and relying on willpower alone.

Anonymous said...

I was going to post a comment, an ad came on the television from the yousmoketheysmoke.org fake-charity funded by the US federal government department of health. It had a man saying his wife died at age 46 from a heart attack, "46! I never knew 23 was middle age", he said. Then it showed the logo, "WhenYouSmokeTheySmoke.Org". Implication: SHS Kills !!! No proof, but lots of dramatic emotionalistic propaganda - paid for by the US taxpayer.

Anyhow, about these doctors, administrators and experts in the alleged health fields. Come the revolution, if we're that lucky, these are the same groups that need rounded up, assets taken back and herded off to re-education camps on civil rights, human liberties and what the notions of freedom are all about, as well as having their upper class lips smacked back down into place and then put into real medical practice once they graduate re-education camps and come out swearing to high heaven they are no longer worshipping the altar of fake-healthism-nazism. And that's how I feel.

Martin said...

The prescription drugs are not only hazardous in terms of the budget but are highly prone to misuse. This is the reason why the use of completely safe, approved and cheap generic drugs is the right option for you.

George Speller said...

I was going to make a comment about viagra, but somethng's come up . . .

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

I once suggested using herbal remedies to a health care professional, such as valerian for stress and St John's Wort for depression, especially seasonal affected disorder. Anybody'd think I'd suggested something criminal...

Meanwhile, I'm trying to convince my gp that an elderly relative is suffering from dementia and it's an uphill struggle. I can see that I'll only be taken seriously when something desperate happens and my relative is hospitalized.

Dan said...

This suggests a certain lucrative pharmacological sideline to my larcenous mind: Homeopathic Viagra Pills.

What you get is a blue pill of chalk that was bottled in a factory in the presence of a packet of ciggies, and a bottle of vodka (both known to decrease the ability of willies to erect). In line with the principles of Homeopathy and the immortal words of George Hull "There's a sucker born every minute" (Phineas Taylor Barnum did not utter those words, but was instead the cause of them), I shall claim that these pills ought to assist in the sexual abilities of any man alive, seeing as they are an incredible dilution of known erection inhibitors.

Just to be on the safe side, though, I shall put in a stern warning about misuse of the product whilst inebriated, and also a note to the effect that occasional healthy exercise greatly assists the efficacy of the product.

James Higham said...

Could never understand the need for viagra.

Robert the Biker said...

Don't know why the NHS would give a stuff, most people have to pay the full price for the LBP's, about 8 quid a pop, you just need the prescription so the Pharmacist can sell them to you

Anonymous said...

If you complain to your GP that twice a month isn't enough you're labelled a sex addict and sent for aversion therapy in which you sit in a room facing a poster of Debs A for 10 minutes. It's cheaper than CBT even for hardened (sorry) cases who need a poster to take away with them.

Jay

Anonymous said...

Apropos nothing in particular, have a look at this site: http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=8771666371746650057&postID=7860977154155196590&page=1&token=1322754483482 and apply your scientific mind to it.

(You will need quite a bit of time for it - it is long, and very, very obtuse.)

Am I justifed in gloating a little? Or should I be truly ashamed?

Please, don't upset me too much.

RSP

frau angela mercl (maid in deutschland) said...

nein...hier in euroland wir needen no little blaue pille...maybe you wunderz whys wir always meetingz-up and having so manys uro-zone klimaxes...

...crisis? was fur crisis?...nein, herr leg-iron, ve allez getz it together so ofts in orderz to given prime minger helle horny-schmidt a gottdamn good shaggingz...ich also...i usenz the galvanierte gummi-rubber strap-on weisswurst - guarantiert to stick-up fur ein tausend jahren.

Leg-iron said...

frollickingmole - will power? Was that one unintentional?

Anon 04:03 - they really do believe it will kill them, you know. There's endless fun to be had.

James H. - you will, James, you will ;)

RSP - that's a live one you have there. No point arguing with a brick wall, nor indeed with someone who's twice as thick.

Leg-iron said...

frau angela - didn't you have Cameron over a barrel last night?

dave - the dildo depository of downing street said...

04:32

oh my, didn't she just...the randy old ostie hausfrau gave me double portions...i say, vorsprung durch technik...ya, i'm a very great admirer of german innovation...her impromptu intervention was absolutely unbelievable...couldn't honestly tell the difference from an intensely imprudent liquidirty injection by ozzie's dodgy financial instrument...was it rubber...?

...you know, i can't believe it wasn't blubber.

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