Monday, 19 September 2011

Who voted for these clowns?

It is becoming increasingly clear that, having had a taste of what it's like to be in government, the Lib Dems have decided they don't like it at all. They are determined to ensure they are never elected again.

Vince Cable spouts about the 50% tax rate for the rich and then insists that private sector pay is reduced by Government diktat, which means all those extra tax collectors paid for out of taxes will have less tax to collect and will cost more than they could ever retrieve. He made both demands - tax the rich more, pay the rich less, in the same speech. Meanwhile, all those public-owned bank directors can still get their bonuses because tax money, as every Lib Dem knows, is endless. No wonder there's no hair on his head. The roots have nothing to hold on to.

Clegg has spent the entire conference so far saying how terrible Tories are, as though his party won the election and only helped the Tories along out of the goodness of their hearts. Does he know he's currently in a coagulation and is supposed to be running the couintry? He still speaks like the head of a minority opposition group. I suppose he's right to keep in practice.

Tim Farron thinks the Lib Dems will ditch the Tories before the next election and presumably he thinks that will mean a Lib Dem government. Cameron, call that election immediately after this conference and you'll wipe them out completely. With any luck you'll wipe out the Labour and Conservative parties at the same time.

High speed energy monster, Huhne, has both his wife and mistress to contend with. A conference farce Brian Rix would have been proud of. He should get extra points for entertainment value. Meanwhile Clegg insists that the party is too male and too pale. What's he going to do, press-gang people in? How about ignoring the colour and gender and just getting on with the bloody job, Clegg?

Ah, but they can't ignore gender because the Equaliser Featherstone has stated, while standing behind a sign saying 'In government - on your side' that she is not on your side if you are male. Yes, the Equaliser believes that all the world's problems are caused by men and that women are perfect. Hideous Harman would be so proud to see a sexist in charge of equality. Oh, and if that's the case, Equaliser, how about your leftie crew dropping the Thatcher rhetoric?

They're even plugging for votes from those who have both genders. The passport forms are to have the 'male/female' option removed so transgender people don't have to be inconvenienced. I don't really care about the tick-box, the passport has my photo on it and they now have the nudie scanners so you don't need to declare your gender. They can check for themselves.

I agree that nobody should be discriminated against on the basis of what dangles where but look - we have three wars going on, the country is skint, the administration is a shambles and matters such as which bits wobble when applying for a passport are not a high priority right now.

And then there's the flat-out refusal to even consider a referendum on the EU. Why? If it's that great, surely they'll win it? If it's that hated, shouldn't the Lib Dems listen to the people they pretend to represent? No, they refuse to countenance such a thing because it's a Tory idea. Oh, and because they know they won't win it so they can't let the proles have a say.

The papers have made much of George Osborne photographed with a tart and a line of white powder but every single report that comes out of the Lib Dem conference makes me wonder what they're on.

I'm pretty sure it's not Planet Earth.


John Pickworth said...

I like the LibDems... their conferences are hilarious, always have been, always will be. Daft as a piece of wet string but so funny.

If we can't have the Two Ronnies back on TV then I'm happy with Vince, Clegg and cast.

JuliaM said...

"Clegg has spent the entire conference so far saying how terrible Tories are.."

Love to know where he's finding these mythical Tories. I've looked and looked and can't find any.

Bill said...

Funny it ain't.
These lunatics are having their turn at the sandpit in a playground their creed created and controls using money their playground bullies extract from your and my pockets every single day of our lives.

The only problem in our lives that is really ours is how we get rid of this creed as quickly and effectively as possible.

Mock these cretins all you want but until they are put on a ship used for target practice by the Iranian Navy (I'd say Royal Navy but we haven't got one any more) they will continue to ruin our lives because we have decided mockery is all we have left.


Anonymous said...

Just been watching a clown from the 'Tobacco Advisory Council' on the BBC spouting forth that films must have a warning on them if smoking is involved. Don't remember voting for them either.
On another note I'm buying a MP3 player and reading reviews have noted that many people are sending them back as the sound is too low.
It appears that many of these players now have EU and USA settings for volume. The EU version is set to protect our precious lug-holes but unfortunately you can't hear your music, bless them.
So far, it appears that you can do a factory reset and then choose USA setting. Don't remember voting for that either.

huff and puff said...

smoke at the top of the page but not at the bottom is also a bit of a bore, if not downright elitist.

Michael Fowke said...

Yes, let's just hope the Lib Dems are utterly destroyed at the next election ... along with Labour, and the Tories. Even Parliament itself.

chris boon said...

i will get tough on energy companies...and i will get tough on the causes of energy companies...which are basically big fat profits...just like the ones i once made in the city, except i didn't make them, so they're obviously big bad profits, and therefore not allowed...and to prove that this is not all hot-air...i pledge to ensure that all our poor-old pensioners keep warm this winter...and should they not be in a position to afford their bills...i will personally pass 'round their cold, damp places, and...whether they be widows, widowers, spinsters, married, lesbian or gay...slip into bed beside order to offer my services as a government-approved coalition hot-water bottle...and perhaps even pump a bit of specially-processed bio-thermal heat under the blankets...all generated from strictly renewable sources, of course...although, i must warn that availability of such dual-energy deals may depend on the price of baked-beans down aldi.

ken larke said...


yes, we in the conservative party envisage this most ingeniously improvised intervention by the secretary of state for energy and climate a rather novel and jazzed-up variation of community service.

the prince of tartness said...

the papers have made much of george osborne photographed with a tart and a line of white powder

nothing remarkable here - clearly flour must have been one of the ingredients required for making it.

Leg-iron said...

Re: the prossie and the line of powder -

I have waited and waited for the headline 'The Whore on Drugs' in vain.

Mark Wadsworth found 'Dedicated Follower of Fascism'.

Where's mine?

Leg-iron said...


Funny it has to be. The only weapon we have is ridicule and it's a lot more powerful than it appears.

They know it and they fear it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

"Meanwhile Clegg insists that the party is too male and too pale. "

The inference is that he wants to practice discrimination on the basis of gender and skin colour, both nominally outlawed in this country.

He wishes to swell the ranks of the cliterati ™ (people who are promoted beyond the Peter Principle, that is way above their level of incompetence, because they possess a clitoris) and the minoriarti™ (people who are promoted beyond the Peter Principle because they are perceived to have a claim of minority rights under at least one heading, including shade of skin).


coke-footprint said...


i have waited and waited for the headline 'the whore on drugs' in vain.

me too - primarily to see hordes of feminists flock to buy up all copies of the offending newspaper as material for a huge bonfire of sexism...only to discover that the headline referred to the gangster, not the moll.

vinnie mission-impostable said...


sounds like time to introduce the 100% tax-rate on middle-to-higher earners.

Anonymous said...

A referendum on the EU a Tory idea?? What on earth gave you that idea?

The Tories don't like referenda because we have "representative democracy" - i.e. they, who are clever, make the decisions for us dumb ordinary people and we should stay in our place.

vinnie impostable (man with a mission) said...


you see, leg-iron, we liberals don't just want to reduce the earnings of the rich so that our supertaxes have nowhere to land and there is no incentive for the creative to produce wealth...we also intend to promote people with no discernible talent, let them run things into the ground, pay them a fortune, and then rake it all back again in taxes - we'll effectively be ruled by highly privileged slaves, it'll be a kind of revolution...a very liberal one, though...where everything's nicely organized and nobody breaks any laws.

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