It is becoming increasingly clear that, having had a taste of what it's like to be in government, the Lib Dems have decided they don't like it at all. They are determined to ensure they are never elected again.
Vince Cable spouts about the 50% tax rate for the rich and then insists that private sector pay is reduced by Government diktat, which means all those extra tax collectors paid for out of taxes will have less tax to collect and will cost more than they could ever retrieve. He made both demands - tax the rich more, pay the rich less, in the same speech. Meanwhile, all those public-owned bank directors can still get their bonuses because tax money, as every Lib Dem knows, is endless. No wonder there's no hair on his head. The roots have nothing to hold on to.
Clegg has spent the entire conference so far saying how terrible Tories are, as though his party won the election and only helped the Tories along out of the goodness of their hearts. Does he know he's currently in a coagulation and is supposed to be running the couintry? He still speaks like the head of a minority opposition group. I suppose he's right to keep in practice.
Tim Farron thinks the Lib Dems will ditch the Tories before the next election and presumably he thinks that will mean a Lib Dem government. Cameron, call that election immediately after this conference and you'll wipe them out completely. With any luck you'll wipe out the Labour and Conservative parties at the same time.
High speed energy monster, Huhne, has both his wife and mistress to contend with. A conference farce Brian Rix would have been proud of. He should get extra points for entertainment value. Meanwhile Clegg insists that the party is too male and too pale. What's he going to do, press-gang people in? How about ignoring the colour and gender and just getting on with the bloody job, Clegg?
Ah, but they can't ignore gender because the Equaliser Featherstone has stated, while standing behind a sign saying 'In government - on your side' that she is not on your side if you are male. Yes, the Equaliser believes that all the world's problems are caused by men and that women are perfect. Hideous Harman would be so proud to see a sexist in charge of equality. Oh, and if that's the case, Equaliser, how about your leftie crew dropping the Thatcher rhetoric?
They're even plugging for votes from those who have both genders. The passport forms are to have the 'male/female' option removed so transgender people don't have to be inconvenienced. I don't really care about the tick-box, the passport has my photo on it and they now have the nudie scanners so you don't need to declare your gender. They can check for themselves.
I agree that nobody should be discriminated against on the basis of what dangles where but look - we have three wars going on, the country is skint, the administration is a shambles and matters such as which bits wobble when applying for a passport are not a high priority right now.
And then there's the flat-out refusal to even consider a referendum on the EU. Why? If it's that great, surely they'll win it? If it's that hated, shouldn't the Lib Dems listen to the people they pretend to represent? No, they refuse to countenance such a thing because it's a Tory idea. Oh, and because they know they won't win it so they can't let the proles have a say.
The papers have made much of George Osborne photographed with a tart and a line of white powder but every single report that comes out of the Lib Dem conference makes me wonder what they're on.
I'm pretty sure it's not Planet Earth.