Friday 23 September 2011

Boozy nights and burning bodies.

Off out to Smoky-Drinky but couldn't help noticing the first recorded case of spontaneous human combustion in Ireland.

The 'wick' effect was demonstrated a long time ago using a dead pig with a similar body-fat level to a human. It was set up in a mocked-up room and produced exactly the same result as observed with 'spontaneous combustion'. The body just needs enough to start burning and then it burns away like a candle. This leaves a greasy residue over everything, doesn't burn the extremities because they tend not to have much fat in them and doesn't necessarily set fire to anything else in the room. It's not quick.

They don't just go 'pop'. No matter how hard we all wish while watching PMQ's, it's not going to happen. But let's keep trying.

Naturally, the article keeps mentioning cigarettes as the ignition source while quickly passing over the open fireplace beside the body. Far more likely is that this man passed out or died in front of the fire, whereupon a burning ember popped from a coal would be enough to start the clothes and then the body burning.

It just needs enough to melt the first bit of fat and light it, and the human candle does the rest.

And on that note, it's whisky time. I'll be back later, filled with flammable liquid.

Oh, and smoking...


12 comments:

Henry North London 2.0 said...

So its not spontaneous combustion then. Spontaneous somehow conjures up a vision of someone praying for an immolation and a thunderbolt or other divine intervention to set the body aflame.

So he burnt in front of an open fire Big deal It was no more spontaneous than being stupid and leaving a fire to burn unattended

Mark Wadsworth said...

Agreed. People die of a heart attack or something, clothes catch fire, the rest just burns like a candle.

But hats off to the Irish coroner for bringing SHC back into the debate.

bad timing said...

all we want to know is where the satellite's going to crash and all scientists can tell us is they don't understand how the universe works anymore - meanwhile they're busy investigating spontaneous combustion and firing shit around at the speed of light. i'm not convinced that the world's top scientific brains are being best utilized. not that i'd want to divert attention from the mega-cockup-squared einstein-scandal, of course - although my ears are starting to burn quite energetically...

nevertheless, incorporated in a health warning, the shocking images would undoubtedly prove quite an effective deterrent said...

23:38

no, it's not particularly comforting news, is it?

but thank god we've got leg-iron putting us straight on the fake cigarette ignition theory - he's obviously a man with extensive experience of setting people on fire.

high times said...

23:38

of course there's a very simple explanation for the conflicting evidence: time has clearly slowed down since i made my original calculations...

...either that, or the participant particles and/or time-keepers where given performance-enhancing drugs.

gott im himmel. these guys must be on better shit than i was.

Anonymous said...

6 million jews?

JuliaM said...

Macheath notes the opinion of pathology prof Mike Green in the suggestion that there's a divine cause:

""I think if the heavens were striking in cases of spontaneous combustion then there would be a lot more cases.""

the swing-nut-cracker (from a secure pyschiatric suite for senile old swans) said...

hey, may i say that i really admire your have-a-grow-spirit, leg-iron - it has really inspired me; this week, i'm trying my hand at building a space-shuttle to fly to the moon - i've never done it before and i don't know anything about it, but i'll give anything a go, me...coz you see, i don't know whether i mentioned it before...but i'm an ex-beatle, and you know...being a living legend can be a lonely business, and it gets a bit dull down here on the farm, so sometimes i need a little extra boost, or i feel like i'm gonna turn into a zombie, or something. yeah...the project's been a real gas, actually; i studied einstein's equation thingy, which states that explosion = moo-cow squared, and then i harnessed the methane output of my herd of cattle to fuel the lift-off - you know it's all ecologically sound and from a renewable energy source and all that...although there's been a bit of a stink with stella...because apparently she reckons it could leave a fucking great big carbon footprint (her words, not mine), and so if i discover water up on the lunar surface, i'll grass it over and let her use it as grazing-land to make it up to her like. the only technical aspect i haven't fully kind of calculated...is how to effect the ignition sequence...ringo reckons if i light a bloody great spliff of sensi, the fumes leaking from the silo-tanks should trigger the countdown off nicely - he should know you know, he's had some great hits. man...can't wait to let it off, nor can ringo. anyway, yeah...that's all for now folks...next week i'll be having a bash at brain-surgery...after all, it's not rocket-science, is it?

John Pickworth said...

"...couldn't help noticing the first recorded case of spontaneous human combustion in Ireland."

Mmmmm, its not like the future president of Ireland and his friends didn't set off enough Semtex trying! But hey, lets be positive, they got there in the end so well done Paddy.

Leg-iron said...

Henry - most pictures I've seen of such events have an open fire or electric fire close by.

Normally, nobody could stay close enough for long enough to burst into flames but corpses don't feel pain.

So the most likely scenario is someone dying, falling near a fire or other heat source which then dries out clothing and melts body fat so it can catch fire.

Once it starts, it's a candle.

Leg-iron said...

JuliaM - if religion could really do that I'd be in church tomorrow. With a list of names.

Leg-iron said...

John - there might have been cases in the past that were blamed on the IRA. You never know!

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