Tuesday, 13 September 2011

When jokes die.

An elderly man was stopped by the police in the early hours of the morning and is asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body."

The police said "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied "My wife."

That's a joke at the moment. It won't be long before that joke no longer works because the police will be obliged to give that lecture themselves. Or maybe direct the tipsy codger to the nearest Puritan centre.

Next? Plain packaging for cereal packets. All those cartoon characters are making the cheeldren eat too much sugar.

The brain runs exclusively on glucose so you can't let the proles have any. They might work out that the 'experts' are talking utter shite.


JuliaM said...

"Next? Plain packaging for cereal packets. All those cartoon characters are making the cheeldren eat too much sugar."

Except, of course, for 'Scooby Doo'.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

Something for your scrapbook:


Alcohol is available at "obscenely low" prices, the head of a new charity has warned.

Professor Robin Davidson was speaking at the launch of Alcohol Research UK, which aims to provide evidence that can shape alcohol policy.

It has an interesting provenance. I bet I can guess where it will get the majority of its funding from, too.

It “ ... aims to provide evidence that can shape alcohol policy.”

And what if the evidence they find isn’t to their liking? I suspect their head’s warning shows clearly what direction their evidence is going to lie.

And also in today’s news:


Britain's public sector shed 111,000 jobs in the three months to the end of July - the biggest quarterly fall since records began in 1999.

And how many of these job losses are being recycled into ‘non-government’ fake charity jobs? Perhaps the clue is in the url. I make it 31,000 ...


Leg-iron said...

JuiaM - that article is horrifying. They have created Sportacus, an athletic man who encourages children to play outside - 'Come outside with meeee, cheeeldren' - and they think that's a good idea?

As for whether Scooby doo is a role model... he's a damn dog. No, in fact, he's just a drawing of a dog. Any kid regarding a drawing of a dog as a role model is an idiot.

The same goes for the adults who made that claim.

Leg-iron said...

DP - they like to say 'alcohol is available at obscenely low prices' but they never tell us where.

House of Commons Bars, maybe?

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