Thursday, 8 September 2011

SNP : Gullible oafs.

Picked up this story via Freedom-2-Choose (Scotland). Pat Nurse has the imminent car ban in her sights too.

I hate driving. I can do it, Italian-style. I have a license which has remained untainted by points or endorsments since the day I earned it, my driving criminal history consists entirely of one (1) parking ticket which was my fault for not paying attention and I paid it the same day, so there is nothing - apart from the current absence of a car and the current overfill of Black Bottle - to stop me driving. I just really, really don't like doing it. 'Don't drink and drive' was the advice, years ago. So I don't drive. I've made my choice.

When I drove I didn't smoke while driving. No children in the car, no passengers most of the time (I once had a Mk. 1 Cortina with only the driver's seat in place. It was fun to stop next to hitchhikers. They're a fussy lot, none of them would get in). No, I didn't smoke because I have never mastered the art of one-handed rolling and because I needed both hands on the wheel in a terrified death grip while mad people kept getting in my way.

So really, banning smoking in cars will not affect me. This, however, does:

SCOTLAND'S Environment Minister has launched an angry tirade against smokers who lit up in Princes Street Gardens during the fireworks display.

Stewart Stevenson on Twitter branded four people puffing away next to him during the end of festival exhibition as "foul", and also praised New York's ban on smoking outdoors.

This man is supposed to represent the people. He hates the people - or at least, he hates those who do not conform to his views. Between twenty and thirty percent of those he represents, he regards as vile scum. If you smoke and vote SNP in Scotland you are mad. They hate you. They consider you 'foul' because you are burning a tiny bit of a leaf next to a quarter of a ton of exploding gunpowder.

Princes Street Gardens. Middle of Edinburgh. Right damn smack in the middle. Buses and cars and taxis and lorries and a busy train station next door and also on this night, burning pyrotechnic chemicals. So what does the Environment Monster worry about? Four people burning approximately half of one plant leaf between them. Really. I have tobacco plants and those leaves, even north of Aberdeen, will make eight to ten smokes each. Professionally grown ones in more temperate climes are likely to produce far more. And they won't lose leaves to overdrying and fungus as this amateur does. This is what the Environment Monster is paid to whine about. By. You. And. Me. We pay this girlie-man to cry about his awful, awful dreams.

Perspective is lost on all MPs of all parties. They are all idiots. Vote them all out. I don't care if the BNP get in, they couldn't be worse than the demented morons we have now. At least they wouldn't support the terror gangs of the UAF and the ASH and the Shenkerites, and they would say 'Stick it into your most southerly sphincter' to the Fourth Reich of the EU. As to the BNP's Leftie policies and societal segregation ideas, well aren't we suffering those anyway, no matter which main party gets in? How are they worse exactly? How are they even different? Because they hate different groups of people? Every party hates certain groups. Why would we each vote for the ones that hate us? Make your choice. If you smoke there aren't many.

In the current climate, you could turn the BNP into Kristallnacht in a matter of days, if they could be induced to put ego aside and ignore the increasingly irrelevant and actually trivial middle-class Leftie bleating. Unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps) they are politicians so ego is all they have. Just like all the others. So they remain an irrelevance, a sideshow, a target for tiddlers in the UAF and so the game goes on.

I'd prefer UKIP although their stance on death penalties and using troops to quell riots makes me very uneasy. I'd find it hard to vote for support of that. Once you put down one lot of dissent with the military, it's much easier next time...

Again, ego will keep the UKIP sidelined. Votes would go to local known individuals rather than to party-approved imports, if they were available. Come on Farage, you of all of them must be able to see this. Don't turn all Salmond on me or I'll have to form my own party and that's not going to go well. Especially if I were to win. Imagine Kim-Il-Legiron-Khan and change your pants at once. I'd have a regime that would make Vlad Dracul cover his eyes and say 'Oh dear'.

I considered signing up to comment at the Scotsman but what's the point? The indoctrinated cannot be reasoned with, the intolerant are as intolerable as they always are, and those people are not worth the wear on my keyboard.

They believe I'll kill them with a tiny bit of leaf. Good. I am happy to boost their psychosomatic terrors to the best of my abilities and I started practicing this game very young. They believe thousands die from passive smoking when nobody has? Fine. Thousands will die, antismoker, and guess what? One of them is you. Or your child, I don't care, you choose. I have no more guilt to feel, the relentless guilt-fest has immunised me.

Psychosomiasis is not hypochondria. It's much more fun. People have, quite literally, convinced themselves to death and more often into symptoms of real disease. There are deeply religious people who have so convinced themselves of the reality of stigmata that they do, actually, bleed from wounds they've never had. So you want to believe my smoke will kill you? I will be glad to help. You want to worry your children into sleepless nights and permanent terror? It's easy. I'll show you how. Heck, I don't need to. You're perfectly capable of doing it yourselves and already are. All you need are a few words of encouragement and your children will grow up as neurotic and as scared of shadows as you. Let's meet and talk, smokophobe. It'll be fun. For me.

There will be nothing wrong with your lungs when you die, smokophobes, as there is nothing wrong with mine after thirty years of puffing at the leaves. You will die of nothing but your own gullibility and that is not a problem for me.

Just think of me as a sort of Darwin's advocate (anyone left who can get the reference?)

As for the Salmond man, that oily fish I once considered a viable alternative to the usual dopes in government, it turns out he is as gullible and as easily manipulated by drones as the rest of the smokophobic oafs I've been hoping to remove.

The Scottish Government recently said it had "no plans" to extend the smoking laws in the near future, but has admitted that passive smoking for children travelling in cars is a major concern for ministers.

A major concern? Global condemnation for letting the Magwai go, covering Scotland in so many useless windmills you'd need a platoon of Don Quixotes to even get started, pub/club industry collapsing, that little independence thing they seem suddenly keen to push onto the back burner, oil rights, massive unemployment, drugs rife, and their major concern is that kids might get a little whiff of smoke from a driving parent?

Oh, let's not worry about the stuff pumped out by the car they're in and the ones around it, let's forget the plasticisers and the residue of those vile cleaning chemicals (anyone tried that spray dashboard cleaner? You have to leave the car alone with the windows open for a week), let's forget that the water-filled dummy in that child's mouth was filled with water in Korea, let's overlook the little detail that if you drive in Slough, the air coming through your beautifully clean and chemically-saturated non-smoking car contains more tobacco smoke than any smoker could produce in a lifetime, let's pretend it's all one thing.

Let's worry about someone burning a fraction of a leaf and of someone getting a hint of smoke from a fraction of a burned leaf. Because we know it's never hurt anyone at all, ever, but it helps to distract us from doing anything actually important.

Salmond, you are an idiot of the first water. And the last water, and all the water in between. Plus the ice on top and the wet mud beneath and the rain also. Idiot.

Your ministers are even more stupid than you. Your environment monster could be a study for a PhD in stupid. The buck stops with you, Oily Al. You gave him the job. You are responsible for his prejudices. You have made his prejudices government policy. You disagree? That is not what your voters see. Especially the smoking drinking fat ones. Oh wait, they just became ex-voters, even the ones who are less fat than you. Ah well, that EU parasite life beckons, eh, Al?

And still, the SNP are the best of the four main options in Scotland. If there is a God, he really, really hates Scotland. I am sure he hates fish-boy more than me because he has not yet put me in a position of being globally ridiculed. You bloody fool, Salmond. It would have been so easy if you just had a little bit of common sense and a hint of courage. Do they surgically extract those on election? Dammit man, what the hell did they trade you for your principles?

What did they pay you to alienate the smoking and drinking voters of Scotland? Scotland! Are you totally fucking insane? Don't you have windows in your room? What next, a haggis ban? Oh but your EU pals have that one already fired up. Along with a ban on fatty foods which will consign you and your moronic monsters to utter obscurity forever. You short fat dick.

We are apparently forcing democracy on Afghanistan, Libya, Iraq and soon Iran.


The means of electing idiots make no difference, the idiots still get in.

Libya might as well have stayed with the Gadfly. He shat on the Westmonster and Holyrood governments, after all.

If you drink and vote SNP... well, that game is coming. Eh. Al?


robbo said...

i saw Stewart Stevenson crossing the road , he adjusted his tie about twenty times, has he got some compulsive disorder

Anonymous said...

Things could be worse, he might want to take the Indian approach.

Tomatoes to be banned – oh joy!

Sep 5, 2011—The director of the Food Safety and Standards Authority of India said recently that “anything that is consumed is called food and anything that is food and contains nicotine or tobacco must be banned”, according to an Indo-Asian News Service story.

V.N. Gaur was apparently explaining the authority’s new safety notification announced and enforced last month, which states that tobacco and nicotine shall not be used as ingredients in any food product.

The Supreme Court has affirmed that gutka and pan masala can be considered as food products because they are eaten for taste and nourishment.

Health activists have welcomed the notification because, according to them, oral cancer is rising in India.

In the light of Gaur’s definition, it will be interesting to see how the notification is interpreted if questions are raised about food products, such as tomatoes and potatoes, in which nicotine occurs naturally; or about products, such as breakfast cereals, that are ‘fortified’ with niacin, or nicotinic acid."

Perhaps he should have the courage of his convictions and embrace a very limited diet before making rude remarks about other people.


"Many plants of the Solanaceae family, which includes the genus Nicotiana, of which the tobacco
plant is a member, contain solanesol; particularly those that contain trace amounts of nicotine.
These include the tomato, eggplant, potato, and pepper.

The potential interference due to these sources is negligible, cooking being the only likely potential source of interference. An interference of this type would bias results high, overestimating the contribution of ETS to RSP."

I try to be a good person and make allowances, I really do.
But sometimes it's very hard not to laugh, despite the circumstances.


Anonymous said...

I believe the medical establishment has scored a massive own goal regarding blood donating.
Only 6% of the population gave blood. As you may well know the restrictions on donating were vast.
Well after several years of calling me a polluting scumbag, a worthless cancer carrier and worse for smoking I and it appears many others have stopped donating.
Not least because you are now telling me that I can no longer have medical services after paying NI etc for 40 odd years.
So desparate have they become that they have reassessed the guide lines of donators and now decided that homosexual men may donate (was a big no no) as long as they abstain from sex for 1 Year.
Many times I stood outside the donating centre after giving blood and enjoyed my tea and biccys with a ciggy along with others.
Well now I'm keeping it all for myself and you can't have my blacken filthy lungs either for transplant. (Yes,they DO use them).

View from the Solent said...

Thomas Huxley? (although bulldog rather than advocate)

Anonymous said...

anon 10.09. I'm with you. I carrried an organ donor card for 30 years, but ripped it up after hearing one too many times that smokers be denied medical treatment. I won't be giving blood either. Ib fact, were all smoking blood donors to stop giving blood, the smoking ban would immediately be repealed.

Mr A said...

Anon 10:09. They not only use them, I believe 50% of all lungs used in transplants come from smokers (so much for the blackened lumps of charcoal pictured on my fag packet). This also shows that smokers are more empathic and generally nicer, because if this figure is correct, they are twice as likely to donate than non-smokers.

Then again, I think we knew that already.

Slamlander said...

At one time in Los Angeles there was a referendum to ban outdoor smoking. It failed when the fact was pointed out that simply walking across Sepulveda Blvd was the equivalent of smoking three packs. This is after the air quality had been improved by decades of the Clean Air Act.

No one has been able to make the second hand smoke argument credible there ever since. Even today, there are days when the AQMD advises against exertion of cardio-pulmonary excersize. It would be healthier to stay inside with a beer and a smoke ;)

Anonymous said...

As an 'addict' I have managed to get out of the 'duty' of Jury service..
Not that I particularly objected to doing Jury service, I just wanted to see if being an addict would exempt me. It did !!

Pat Nurse MA said...

Thanks for the mention LI.

I hate some of UKIP's policies like the death penalty and burka ban but think that at least being in the party means I can influence views on this and at least be heard on it which is something I couldn't do if I wasn't a member or be allowed to do if I was a member of any other party.

The BNP is dead btw - most of the membership pissed of at bankrupt Griffin have gone over to the English Democrats.

Whatever your party or your politics - UKIP is a good move to halt this crap in its tracks and return normality - maybe then people will return to their once "normal" traditional parties if they go back to being "normal" and and earn their votes back.

I tried to post this earlier, but the internets ate it... said...

Several years ago I found myself in hospital, surrounded by several visibly nervous doctors and nurses as I slowly suffocated from a very severe asthma attack. Earlier that evening I had been attending the fireworks In Princes Street Gardens. There had been no one smoking amongst my companions and, as far as I can recall, I wasn't particularly aware of anyone in the immediate vicinity smoking either - although, as is the tradition on these occasions, a rather copious amount of particularly atrocious wine was being consumed. The trigger had been a result of the low cloud cover, lack of wind and geography of the gardens. The subsequent build up of smoke from the fireworks, an event sponsored and supported by the City of Edinburgh Council (to name but one), an icon of Scotland even - don't we all love the bit when the fireworks form, what can only very loosely termed, a saltire? - well, it very nearly killed me.

Strange thing is, I grew up around smokers, I worked in bars and clubs with air conditioning that would have failed the next H&S inspection. Pubs, whereupon the door being held open longer than necessary, was met with a palpable low growl of aggression against the atmosphere allowed to escape into the night. Not to mention socialising with friends that smoked. However none of that ever really seemed to bother me or my bronchi. I don't smoke.

In retrospect, perhaps I should have blamed someone. As it happens, I walked out of the hospital and got on with my life and other anecdotal stories.

As a final thought, I have not met the man, nor do I think I would be likely to meet him, but I imagine that this environment minister has a very limp and very ineffective handshake.

smokervoter said...


Tomatoes to be banned in India due to nicotine content? Surely we are slipping into a parallel universe stage now with tobacco temperance hysterics.

I thought I'd seen it all with the Red Scare as a wee lad, but this is much larger, much more intense and much more global in scope.

Come to think of it, banning tomatoes could rightly be called the Red Scare II. Not Commie pinkos with atomic bombs mind you, but tomato growers clandestinely poisoning Indian youth with nicotine.

I'm looking for another planet to migrate to, that is if I can get there just one step ahead of ASH and WHO.

bootiful programming said...

completely off fucking topic, but i think, speaking as a dedicated follower of this pile of bollocks, that we've had bloody-well enough of the extra-tall shaggy-doggie stories for one night - yes, this evening the british broadcasting corporation gave us brits what we really really fucking want: david rubberband admitting that the iraq war was an unfortunate mistake (shame about the hundred thousand or so dead bodies, however he's absolutely god-damned innocent because, you see, there was a minor cock-up in the intelligence department), immediately succeeded, like a democratically approved dick-up-the-arse, by daniel day lewis, in the unbearable lightness of being, lambasting the czechoslovak socialist politicians of 1988 for denying any culpability in the matter of systematic internment and repression instituted by their glorious government, this due to their complete ignorance of endemic banging-up dissidents. luv it - the bbc must be committed capitalist swine after all. amazing what a change of government and a few cuts in public-funding, during the auntie of all recessions, can achieve - and the irony cannot be lost on those of us who love all political parties equally. poo myself, i nearly had a fucking baby.

redyard kipling said...


what a brand, they make great tarts.

unafrican animist said...

libya might as well have stayed with the gadfly. He shat on the westmonster and holyrood governments, after all.

alternatively the (pro-african) african unionist leaders could have prescribed the inhabitants of their continent some traditional homeopathic medicine to build up its immune system against freedom-allergic dictators, instead of letting them swallow the dangerous kill-or-cure gadaffi anti-capitalist pill in order to counteract all western-evils - and thereby allowing western infection to creep in through the nato band-aid beckoning back-door of a desperately disenfranchized, morally weakened, and suppression-sick section of the population. african leaders heal their own brothers? not likely, too busy corrupting themselves with the lustre and lucre of western 'medicine' - don't they just thank god they have the benefit of the european health-system, the best in the world?

a very dry sentiment, leg-iron - i'm sure that the metaphorical shit landing on westminster and holyrood made the forty-two years of real-life shit seem like a real worthwhile bargain. now the poor cunts have got the prospect of a nato airforce innoculating them against a deadly civil-war for which their own libyan liberators have no home-grown remedy. what an unqualified success.

the balance of democracy in operation - living-death for the voiceless majority, liberty and peace of mind for those elected to the graveyard.

and beware complacency - the morally-undernourished citizens of our own thought-policed state, immunized from reality by 'welfare', is equally susceptible to the ravages of the 'humanitarian' intervention disease (if we don't top ourselves with the venom of our own self-harming government first).

she-loves-me, she-loves-me-not said...


independence begins at home - 'strong'-man government, such as we have in britain, is a symptom of a sick society on the moral-analgesic of criminally-funded support. whether it be here, or in more-disadvantaged countries of the world, the less government-control there is, the better - social-control undermines the self-empowerment of individual members of the population (making them prone to externally-manipulated revolutions from abroad), and the dictatorial governments which exercize this oppression can easily be corrupted and themselves remotely controlled by foreign powers. here in the united kingdom we've currently got the difficult choice of being sold-out to either the communists in the east or the imperialists over in america.

Anonymous said...

Hurray for the "Fantastic Four" blowing it up this dicks hooter.

It has raised my astonishment level to a new high that our elected members can spout such bile about smoking, sorry smokers.

No doubt the troughing bastard was there on a free jolly anyway, so who's he to fucking complain?

Who is this fucking arsehole anyway?

His name is going on the list.

Anonymous said...

This looks like a fake page, judging by the picture it looks like Father Jack who studied Maths, worked for a fucking bank in computing and who can spout shit for hours or days), another fucking political colossus appointed to our beloved Par-lia-mint.

Tell me its a fucking spoof please, I mean his teeth are worse than mine and he doesn't even smoke for fucks sake...

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