Saturday, 17 September 2011

When idiots are proud to be idiots.

A couple of tipoffs in the Email recently:

Here is an idiot who actually believes that a few hotels having a few smoking rooms is causing deaths. He is too dim to realise that when almost all hotel rooms were smoking, when almost all pubs, clubs, restaurants and cafes allowed smoking... nobody died.

Yet now that it's banned, he actually believes that 50,000 Americans die of second hand smoke every year. Before it was banned, the figure was zero. The real figure is, of course, still zero. Even lower than an antismoker IQ, but not by very much.

What this has to do with a hotel being 'green' he does not say. What he does say is that he believes smoking causes deafness in non-smokers and he has 18 years' experience of writing about other people's real jobs to prove it. He has made his idiocy a matter of public record for the whole world to see and he is proud of it! This plumbs depths of stupid you'd get the bends coming up from. Even crustaceans can't get that far down.

I have 30 years' experience of smoking and of actual scientific research and I can hear perfectly well, thank you. Not the cheapskate second hand smoke either, the full-on proper smoking. If a smell can make an antismoker deaf, I'm going to smoke even more because if they turn deaf at least they can't hear any more of ASH's ridiculous indoctrination. I just hope it can make them mute too. And immobile. One thing's for sure, it will have no effect on their brains.

The idiot's best line has to be this one:

It is not surprising that cigarette smoke has been linked to yet another malady.

No, it is not surprising at all. It's been linked to everything from viral infections to climate change. Soon it will be linked to comets crashing into the Sun, the demotion of Pluto from planet status and the extinction of the dinosaurs. One of the best bits of recent lunacy is when some utter cretins masquerading as scientists claimed that one cigarette end in the sea would kill all the fish. Look, if your lab coat has long sleeves that tie together at the back, you are not really a scientist. They're just telling you that so you'll take the pills.

MJ McFadden did a calculation I hadn't thought to do. If every single cigarette end from every single smoker on the planet was dumped into the sea, how long would it be before the water fleas died, based on the playschool research carried out by overpaid and indoctrinated drones? Assuming that all those cigarette ends never decompose (another insane assertion made by morons) and that the effect is cumulative because plant material is, as every barely-evolved chimp clone knows, indestructible.

If every single cigarette ever smoked on the planet was dumped into the sea and none ever decomposed, the water fleas would start to die off in...

...twenty-five million years.

That's just the fleas. You'll still be waiting for the fish to start floating to the surface. Yet the idiots put this out as scientific research for all the world to see and were proud to have done so!

There are so many morons out there believing all this rubbish. There are over six hundred of them in highly paid jobs in Westminster! Another batch in Holyrood and even more in Cardiff. Mindless, every one of them. That's before we even start to look at the anencephalics employed by councils, fake charities, several universities and the BMA. How do these people remember to breathe? Which idiot keeps reminding them?

I will never employ, nor recommend for employment, an antismoker. Never. They are the dimmest people on the planet. They believe every piece of crap they are told and have absolutely no capacity for any analytical thought whatsoever. What use are they to any employer in any capacity?

I smoke, and have smoked for thirty years. I am not dead. I don't have cancer. I am not wheezing. I have nothing wrong with my lungs nor my heart. I have nothing wrong with my hearing. I have no infections and rarely even get a cold. I am not permanently terrified and am not (despite appearances here) permanently angry. I am able to think for myself.

If the antismokers want to believe they will die from a brief contact with a wisp of smoke from a tiny bit of burning leaf, so be it. Let them believe.

Psychosomiasis is a powerful thing. It can be a weapon. All you need to wield it are a few words. Convince them they will get sick and die. They are dim enough to do as you suggest.

It's not as if you'd be damaging a future Einstein, is it? Maybe a future council office seat-warmer or maybe a future politician. We already have far more than we need of both.


RB said...

Of the 2000 teenagers it was noted that those with the highest cotinine levels were largely unresponsive, often answering questions with grunts or with unconnected statements such as "That's so unfair", or "I hate you"

Having taken into account all relevant variables we conclude that there is no other explanation other than that these subjects are deaf. Therefore smoking causes deafness.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

Here is proof of the demise of the dinosaurs – about one fifth of the way down.

Weep, Mr Leg-iron


Anonymous said...

Anon 09.39

Don't joke! Just give the antis the opportunity for a few 1984-style adjustments to the timing and that'll be a claim we'll see some time in the next few years ...

Pat Nurse MA said...

The "idiot" is a smokerphobic. There should be research into what causes this condition. I think it's a mental illness as aresuilt of people being taught to be terrified of smokers.

As for hotels that ban smoking, despite it's bigotry, this one wasn't exactly the epitome of good health or safety for its paying guests.

fetch-a-bucket-of-cold-water said...

i cannot be bothered to make up a daft username and email-address in order to register on the guardian's 'comment is almost certainly going to be declared degenerate and deleted' discussion forum only to have my beloved and cherished account immediately and indefinitely suspended without appeal...and therefore i will make known here my feelings about a highly dangerous, yet perversely locally-idolized, marxist-revolutionary commenter, masquerading in the guise of a liberal and going under the name of lightacandle, whose proximity to a newspaper is clearly inflammatory and who should be prohibited from posting on grounds of health and safety, not to mention unceremoniously snuffed-out up nick clegg's arse - he being the man who has single-handedly succeeded in assisting the bombing of more asian and african civilians than any other liberal leader this century.

*a poorly disciplined place of discourse prone to attracting that woefully underprivileged class of contributor which, through no fault his, or her, own, habitually misspells basic words such as 'shit' and 'fuck' with 1s and *s.

Anonymous said...


Sounds about right - not much light there.

archbishop arson-extinguisher said...


make that 'ceremonially' and i'll do the job personally.

jps said...

superb work, leg-iron - a seriously smouldering sequel to your seminal exposition of the inherent absurdity existing within an angst-aggravating anti-smoking legislation which precipitates previously puritanical non-smokers to adopt the filthy habit with a vengeance. you're nothing short of being an infamously frustrating fly-in-the-ointment of oppression. bravo, the dearth of reason exhibited by the others is absolutely nauseating. let us dismantle the wall of intolerant ignorance brick-by-baccy-blocking-brick.

Angry Exile said...

Beaten to the Far Side reference. Foiled again, dammit.

Johnnyrvf said...

I left a comment on the idiots site, it is the 1st one so far, self righteous berk.

greco-roman grammarian said...


which precipitates previously puritanical non-smokers to adopt the filthy habit


here in england, something or someone precipitates something (such as a revolution), or something precipitates (hurries) into something (such as ruin) - something does not precipitate something or someone to do something.

perhaps you meant:

"a seriously smouldering sequel to your seminal exposition of the inherent absurdity existing within an angst-aggravating anti-smoking legislation which precipitates the adoption with a vengeance of the filthy habit by previously puritanical non-smokers."

or perhaps you could have expressed the thought thus:

"a seriously smouldering sequel to your seminal exposition of the inherent absurdity existing within an angst-aggravating anti-smoking legislation which precipitates previously puritanical non-smokers into vengeful belching chimneys."

retournez-vous en école normale supérieure, monsieur le docteur.

(congratulations on posting back the nobel prize 'tho)

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