- but don't dare drink a drop.
Yes, water is bad for you now. Did you know it's as addictive as cocaine and claims many more addicts than all drugs combined? Secondary water fills the sewers and costs the NHS money (don't ask me, I haven't reached their level of insanity yet). Urination will soon be monitored and any excess will be forced back in.
The NHS – along with leading doctors and nutritionists – advises the public to drink about 1.2 litres (or two-and-a-half pints) of water per day.
Everyone, every day, no matter the temperature, no matter how much physical work you do. You are all clones and all require exactly the same. Like bacteria.
However, a report describes the danger of dehydration as a ‘myth’ and says there is no evidence behind claims that water prevents multiple health problems.
Dehydration is a myth. You cannot die from that. Water is not the fluid your kidneys use to remove contaminants from your blood and lack of water will not give you kidney stones. Believe it all, drones. Don't drink water, accept no salt at all, and your life will be perfect.
Glasgow-based GP Margaret McCartney says the NHS Choices website’s advice that people should drink six to eight glasses a day is ‘not only nonsense, but thoroughly debunked nonsense’.
Practically everything that has come out of the health service for the last two decades has been thoroughly debunked nonsense. Why pick on the one possibly sensible suggestion they have made in all that time?
She adds that the benefits of the drink are often exaggerated by ‘organisations with vested interests’ such as bottled water brands.
Aha, it's Big Water. Evil capitalist Big Water is forcing their filthy addiction on you all. You don't need water to live. All it does is make you pee and that's a disgusting and filthy habit. Water addicts exude their filth through their skin and they stink. Why should the rest of us have to put up with that sweaty stench? We demand the right to BO-free air and if anyone wants to drink water they should do it in their own homes and not bother we perfect ones.
The drones still won't see it, you know. They will never make the connection. Not even when the shrivelled corpses of their friends and family clatter to the ground around them, still they won't see it. Even though the technique is always exactly the same, they simply cannot comprehend what is being done to them. Soon they will teach children to slap bottled water out of people's hands and encourage the denormalisation of the vile urinators.
There's something deeper here though. Yesterday, washing caused obesity. Which is ludicrous. Today, there is no such thing as dehydration and we're all drinking too much water. Even though we drink far more tea and beer, so the straight-water intake is not the principal fluid intake overall.
So, when is the water supply due to collapse? Alternatively, how much tax can we expect to pay on water soon?
Rain barrels are currently very cheap and all you really need to do is boil it. Could be worth the investment.