Yesterday I said this :
Smoking will make you have children with webbed fingers and an affinity with dungarees and the banjo.
Today, there is this. (also here, tipped by Chris in Email). They're getting faster. I'll say no more about that dystopia story because the buggers are pinching all my ideas.
Mark Wadsworth has run the numbers. As usual, the reports are not just hyped, they are hyperhyped.
So let's recap. Second hand smoke kills nonsmokers. Third hand smoke kills them too. Direct and passive smoking causes asthma, meningitis, ear infections, stupidity, birth defects, ADHD, cot death, infertility, sperm damage, wrinkly hands, druggie teeth, and a host of other things before anyone even remembers to mention that whole raft of lung diseases.
Smoking prevalence is now 20% and it is banned from pubs, clubs, restaurants, trains, buses, planes, airports, bus stations, railway stations, all enclosed public spaces and soon outdoors, in private cars and homes. Smoking is causing all of the above when hardly anyone even sees it any more.
Thirty years ago, smoking was happening in every pub, club, restaurant, cinema, on every bus, train and plane, in airports... pretty much everywhere other than a few places that had their own restrictions. Everyone, without exception, would have been exposed to smoke at some point, at least weekly if not daily.
There is only one possible conclusion. Everyone on the planet is already dead except for a few infertile, deformed, wheezing idiots. There are no other humans alive at all. No matter what you think you see as reality, it's an illusion. There are no healthy people anywhere in the world because the past high prevalence of smoking has killed every last one of them and left the remainder deformed. You're imagining that healthy body in the mirror. The reality is that we're all hideously deformed drooling monstrosities. Extrapolate the claims for current smoke exposure to the much higher past exposure and you'll find that is the only answer possible.
What you see is illusion. Reality is horrifying because in reality, you could never possibly have been born.
Oh, and I've already published that story so nyah.