Friday 29 July 2011

Land of Confusion.


Recycling is different everywhere I go. Here, they have multi-bins whereas in many parts of Scotland there are no litter bins at all. Just dog-crap bins.

Some places have bins with a metal bit on top to stub out your cigarettes. This bin has no place for cigarettes.

Recycling at home here involves a food bin, a big wheelie bin for general rubbish and another big one for all recyclables - glass, plastic, paper, cardboard. There is also a bag for garden waste.

In Ayr, they have a large general bin, a large bin for everything recyclable except glass, a small box for glass and a further large bin for garden waste.

In Aberdeenshire, we have a big bin for general waste and a small box for recycling glass, plastic and cans, and another small box for paper (not carboard). No food waste bins and no garden waste bins. The houses and gardens in all three of the test locations are of comparable size. Oh, and while I don't have a garden waste bin, I am not supposed to put garden waste in the general bin.

Airports have a new one. Not everyone has to take off their shoes but nobody knows who it will be until they arrive at the X-ray machine. Some have to take off their belt. There's a new arch thing that doesn't seem to do anything and is not attended by anyone, but everyone has to pass through it on the way to the queue for the X-rays. Then the metal detectors, then while you are reassembling yourself after all these checks, someone else comes along with a wand thing and waves it over certain people. There is no obvious logic behind any of those selected for the extra attention.

Each airport has a different set of checks, they change the checks at random and none show any sign of any logical approach. Fortunately I have never yet had to travel from an airport with the porn-film-audition scanner.

There is no consistency to any of it. Move from one place to another and you have to learn a whole new set of rules. Soon it will be impossible to go on holiday or move house without infringing some rule that wasn't a rule where you came from - and all within the UK.

It's only a matter of time before some council decides they are going to make everyone drive on the right. Or that you can be fined for not wearing a hat on every second Wednesday, but fined for wearing a hat on the non-hat Wednesdays. The neighbouring council will apply the same rule to Thursdays.

What will this achieve? Well, it keeps you confused to the point where it just becomes too much of a chore to go anywhere. It'll drive everyone nuts and when the EU demands standardisation, they will get overwhelming support.

The EU plan to take over the UK Border Agency and who's going to object? UKBA are supposed to keep illegals and smugglers out but all they actually do is harass legitimate British shoppers and steal their tobacco and booze. Smuggling people, guns or drugs? No problem. Bring back some baccy from holiday? Expect the full weight of UKBA to come down on you. So when the EU take control they will look like saviours - until everyone finally realises that nothing changes, just the accents the guards have.

Prepare to be confused, because confused people will accept any way out. Even the EU way.

2 comments:

Twenty_Rothmans said...

Just looking at that ugly edifice depresses me.

And why isn't 'Recycle' in Welsh?

The logic behind the inconsistent checking is to upset the cunning terrorist's observation of a pattern. They overlook the pattern that white people seldom bomb aircraft.

Leg-iron said...

There are white Muslim converts but they always have the regulation beards. They are nuts with hairy chins so aren't too hard to spot.

It's the converts who tend to get sent on suicide missions because the radicals don't really want to keep them and also because they have deminstrated their gullibility by joining up.

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