Sunday, 10 July 2011

The first child-free zones have arrived.

Smokers were thrown out of bars for the sake of the staff and for the cheeeldren. Odd, because children weren't allowed in there anyway, but let's not try to make sense of nonsense here. There are only so many brain cells you can fry before you end up too deranged for the asylum and have to become an MP.

Smokers are banned from flights for the sake of, mainly, the cheeeldren. Also restaurants, for the cheeldren. Pretty much anywhere these children might go, smokers are banned. Pretty much anywhere they don't go, too, but hey, at least there was some kind of a reason to ban us.

Not much of a reason. The possibility of smoking and non-smoking restaurants is dismissed out of hand by the antismokers for the simple reason that the smoking restaurant might be nice, and they'd want to go in there. So all the smokers have to leave. When you get down to it, that's the base of their argument.

Still, there were the cheeeldren. They had to be allowed into the pubs, clubs, restaurants, everywhere, without the slightest risk that they might catch a glimpse of someone smoking, and Heaven forbid, even inhale a molecule of smoke and drop dead on the spot. So now the cheeeldren can go anywhere because the filthy smokers have been expunged from their sight.

Well, everywhere except the first class cabin on certain airlines. Children have been banned from there. But everywhere else is fine. Safe from smokers too.

Well, except certain restaurants...

So, let's see if I have this clear. Smokers have been expelled from these places primarily for the sake of the cheeeldren, and now that the cheeeldren are arriving in droves, those who hate smokers have discovered that they don't like children very much either.

They also don't like fat people on planes or anywhere else for that matter. They don't like drinkers at all.

I have to wonder if they like anyone. I suspect not.


Curmudgeon said...

It would be nice to have a few child-free zones in pubs (even if you couldn't smoke in them). All too often they seem to have turned into mother-and-baby clubs...

Xopher said...

Ban children from adult places - they are injurious to Social Health.
Fro god's sake, we suffer them all day every day and now we can't get away from them! We can't even have a pee without them screeching in the toilet.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

And they are going broke too, Mr C. They sit there with a coffee all afternoon and chinwag, driving proper drinkers elsewhere. It's the kiss of death when a pub becomes a creche.

Even during the times I did not smoke, I opted for a smoking seat on aircraft. No children, you see. Now they are stacked with screaming bastards from stem to stern.

@Mr Xopher
They might screech less if you do not force their faces into the lavatory pan.

Leg-iron said...

Curmudgeon - children were never seen in pubs in the old days. Well, certainly not the shitholes I used to drink in.

They were never attractive as a family outing destination. The antismokers never visited either.

They're all closed now.

Leg-iron said...

Xopher - actually I'm quite happy for all the children to be corraled in the pubs, clubs and restaurants.

I never go in them any more.

Simon said...

Sorry Leg but it was never to do with cheeldren with airlines.

The cost of running a full clean air tube when there's smoke was a reason.

Now they can cut down costs. Haven't you ever felt weary after a flight that doesn't cross enough timelines to cause jetlag? That's because the air is of poorer quality.
Ironically, passengers are suffering more because of the ban than before!

Leg-iron said...

Simon - that's true, and the ban in pubs was never about children either. Nor in restaurants or anywhere else.

It's just the excuse they used.

Budvar said...

One of the main reasons i used to go to the pub was to get away from my own bickering kids for a bit, I didn't want to listen to someone elses whining brats.

Then there's the those whose wife or child doesn't like the swearing from the 20 hairy arsed builders who sup between 8 and 10 pints each on an evening, by someone who nurses half a lager and a dry white wine all afternoon.

My answer is look mate, it's a working class pub that caters for working men.
If swearing offends, take your kid to McShiteburgers or the hungry horse that caters for kids or if it's the wife, take her to the golf club or another pub more to her liking.

If I go to the golf club bar and it's full of guffawing twats in silly jumpers drinking pink gins, I don't sit there complaining, I go somewhere more to my liking.

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