Thursday, 14 July 2011

A Fistful of Fag-ends.

A shoddily dressed councillor pretending he's in Stony Stratford.
I hope he's paid the duty on the tobacco he's holding.


As with all good showdowns, there is to be a pre-battle war of words. Dick Puddlecote and the Bartlett character will be on TalkSport radio this very evening, so we'll find out if Bartlett can say more than just 'Ban it'. I suspect he will rely on pomposity and sneering, because really, that is all the antismokers have.

Around 10:15 pm PBT (proper British time) this evening, the opponents will meet. I hope nobody shakes Bartlett's hand. No smoker has ever contaminated his fingers with so many cigarettes all at once. It'll take weeks to get the third hand smoke off his hands. Best not let him touch any cheeeldren!

Funny, he doesn't seem too scared of that in the photo. Nor of all those diseases he claims the butts contain. If he truly believed there was any truth at all in his claims he would have been wearing gloves.

And another thing. When someone was elected to a position of responsibility in the past, they took the trouble to look the part. Why are we now governed by scruffs? He could at least wear a tie.

Or a noose.


(Update - I think he might be wearing gloves. I'm not sure).

25 comments:

subrosa said...

Oh dear LI, you certainly know how to make me smile, yet it's true what you say. Our councillors no longer feel they ought to dress for business.

I'd prefer his attire to include a noose - but you knew that.

delcretin said...

LI, how dare you suggest otherwise? I'm sure he would have been wearing eco gloves made from recycled fag ends. Only right and proper for such a righteous person. I don't smoke and I'm not religious. God help us all, anybody got a light?

George Speller said...

Looks like he's wearing gloves to me - those vinyl ones that impregnate the skin with uncured monomers.

Smoking Hot said...

Why don't they just get the particular smoker that smokes there for littering? lt's obvious that all he does is stand there all day judging by the cigarette butts.

Anonymous said...

I agree with George Speller, he seems to be wearing gloves. However, that's irrelevant - if second hand smoke can somehow get through concrete walls in a block of flats, third hand smoke can CERTAINLY get through flimsy plastic gloves. So, phone ASH and ask how long it will take for his third hand smoke exposure to dissipate to safe levels. They'll probably say "At least 500 years". And then put this Councillor in quarantine and solitary confinement for said length of time, as recommended by ASH. After all, we can't have him coming into contact with any other people, let alone cheeeldren, until he's non-lethal again, surely......

RAB said...

Yes he is wearing little plastic jobbies that people in cake shops etc wear, but this shows how lame and fuckwitted the bastard is, doesn't it?

Look, if you are going to do outright propaganda, do it properly, dress your window.

He should have been wearing great big Selafield nuclear style rubber ones (never mind you could never pick up a butt wearing them) but no, the asshole is just completely lame, isn't he?

My business partner of many years ago, got accused in Private Eye of being a Gun Runner and a spy in Nicuragua (long story). Total bullshit of course, but a cub reporter from our local paper picked up on it and wanted an interview.

We thought we'd have a bit of a laugh, so we arranged to meet the gimp in a local pub (be sure to have a copy of PI under your left arm) and we dressed up my partner in my fedora, ray bans, his three piece whistle and topped off with a Bogart style raincoat, oh... and his hand was handcuffed to a briefcase.

So when the cub arrived, I whipped out and old light meter and pretended to scan him down... He's clean Jon, not wearing a wire, we can proceed.

Do you know it took the poor bastard an hour and a half (and several rounds of expenses paid drinks) to twig that we were taking the piss bigtime!

We taught the budding denizen of the Yellow Press a very early and timely lesson. Trust nothing and double check your facts.

Anonymous said...

The idea of cig ends on the streets is the modus operandi I've seen in other cities where outdoor smoking has been banned. First they ban smoking and thus ashtrays, indoors. Then they begin removing ashtrays outdoors and moving smoking areas further from buildings, also with no ashtrays to be found. Then after they've gone that far, someone begins a campaign against "too many cig ends" on the streets - then proceed to ban it everywhere outdoors. Anti-smoking has been following this game plan and doing it in this exact same manner for years - in other cities. I truly hope Saturday's rally and protest march is a huge huge turnout of people against the ban and wanting it amended now.

Leg-iron said...

Bartlett bottled it.

He waited until DP was off the air before coming on, along with a load of sycophants, to present his lies unchallenged.

Don't expect to see him on Saturday, but on Saturday night he'll be there. With the same load of cigarette ends, claiming they were dropped by the Ashtray on the Wall gang.

Leg-iron said...

What's the green lump on his cuff? Did he forget his hanky?

Dick Puddlecote said...

"I suspect he will rely on pomposity and sneering, because really, that is all the antismokers have."

Oh, I dunno. He cornered the market in barking, spittle-spraying lunacy tonight.

He's a great advert for ASH. :)

done deal, divert eyes in the hinterland of the diversity drill - death direct, a deep poem by foreign secretary hague said...

meanwhile...the nuba and dinka people in south kordofan, sudan, are being slaughtered by the chinese-backed government in khartoum - yet another suppresso-massacre-scene disregarded by the oil-tinted eyes of western leaders who blithely continue to celebrate their south-sudanese slice of the carboniferous chocolate cake.

write van man said...

why's a1gle tailing me?

Anonymous said...

I'd wear gloves if I wanted to smack this cunt, and not boxing gloves...

Leg-iron said...

done deal etc... Yes, and Libyans are being blown to crap by other Libyans and NATO is helping to blow them up for their own good. In Belfast, people kill other people because they believe in the same religion in a different way, and in the Middle East, Shia and Sunni do the same.

In Syria, Syrians are killing other Syrians for no sensible reason that I can see.

All over the world, people are killing each other for no logical reason at all. I'm beginning to suspect they just like doing it.

What can I do about it? Not a damn thing.

Leg-iron said...

write van man - the one you have to watch out for is B 457 ARD.

Or AR53 OLE.

Those are Taxman plates.

Leg-iron said...

Anon - if you're looking for suitable gloves, they are available.

stubborn war protester said...

00:55

it was probably someone like you who sparked all these wars off by disrespectfully discarding a fag-end. not that i blame you per se, but it's still a filthy dirty habit.

Leg-iron said...

Smokers are far too relaxed to start wars. Only the zealous do that.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. All those dog-ends all look suspiciously - well - posed, don't they? Not a single one flatted by being stamped out, all relatively "new" by the look of it - none discoloured by the rain or by having been left out overnight, none with the paper worn away as it does after a day or two. And apart from that one area in front of the man himself, there isn't a single other one anywhere in sight on the pavement.

Methinks this man might have "borrowed" a convenient ashtray and simply emptied the contents in front of him for the picture. In which case he should be "done" for dropping all that litter himself, dirty little tyke!

Junican said...

the fag ends were obviously collected in advance.

There is a photo of SS Stony Stratford on DP's site - not a bit of litter of any sort in sight. So that may be why Bartlett had to go to Milton K - only there were there enough fag ends to collect.

Junican said...

When Bartlett failed to appear, I, like everyone else, I presume, thought that he had chickened out. But, in retrospect, it is obvious that he, along with his advisors, was mulling over what DP had said. Thus, when he actually arrived, he was ready. He, in effect, withdrew his fag ends argument, even though that was his major argument (vis: picture of him with fag ends). When he arrived, he was all "Health, health, health". It is unfortunate that the host on the show did not ask him how a little bit of tobacco smoke could affect the health of people in the open air.

Someone was with him and advising him - that is why he took so long.

But we cannot have everything. He still came across as a complete pratt and blustering know all and a dictator.

What seemed very weird to me was that the station was so concerned about the lack of support that, late on, when one or two people turned up to support the ban (one of them was named Martin - ring a bell?), they were allowed to waffle on about smoking harm - not about the specific matter of SS. Very clever of ASH!

The event at SS is our first venture into the unknown. The important thing is to be firm and unmovable - the ban is a horrid thing - not to be accepted in civilised society.

DOWN WITH THE BAN!

Paul said...

Leg-iron: In Belfast, people kill other people because they believe in the same religion in a different way

No, they don't. The conflict in Northern Ireland isn't religious but about political nationalism with 'religion' as one of the factors. Most of the sectarian extremists over there have never been in a church in years, if ever.

spooks' gallery said...

00:56

leg-iron, i worry about anyone who stalks me without offering a reasonable explanantion for doing so - at least we all know why the taxman would follow us around, unreasonable though i admit his motivation is. in any case, worrying about the obsessive attentions of the taxman is a luxury reserved for those who earn money - so if the taxman were tailing me, i would indeed be extremely worried, as i earn nothing, and he could therefore only be after my body.

however, the suspicious-looking black four-wheel-drive sniffing about me was clearly driven by a cia spy - thus the need to expose his operation mercilessly.

Leg-iron said...

Paul - I sit corrected.

Spooks - we have those black cars with black windows here too. I doubt they are anything sinister because if you want to pass unnoticed, having a car that looks like something out of 'Men in Black' is not the best way to go about it.

Anonymous said...

OT to LI

Herr Bartlett has reserved W4 NKR for himself.

More REAL registrations...

TOS 55R, or in Northern Ireland maybe NAZ 1 for Arnott.

I always liked LES 814N, just because I too like going down on women...

FAG 50T anyone?

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