Friday, 9 April 2010

Put the burger down and back away.

Smokers always said that the same methods applied to them will be applied to other groups. Drinkers are seen as 'a problem' as are fat people, and now the NHS is taking direct action. Apparently, you overweight lot have not been listening to their orders, so you are to endure public humiliation.

Not, not just having to go outside to eat your burgers. They've moved on from that.

They are going to burn you in effigy.

Read that again. It's serious. It is not a joke.

The 40ft giant effigy - which will cost several thousands to make - is to be paraded through the streets of Barnsley as part of a healthy eating drive.

It will form part of the mayor's parade and summer gala in July before finally being set alight to symbolise 'the shedding of unhealthy elements of our lifestyles'.

They really are going to burn an effigy of you and have a carnival to celebrate. Well, even smokers haven't experienced that one yet. If you're a little broad in the beam, stay the hell away from that carnival because once the mob gets fired up, they might not want to stop at an effigy.

Local Slimming World co-ordinator Christine Meluish, who runs weight loss groups for 11 to 15-year-olds, branded it 'a disgrace'.

Note that they don't interview the chubbies, just as they never seek the opinions of smokers. Welcome to the denormalisation club. We don't count. Only the reformed can have a voice.

'It's humiliating for anyone who is overweight,' she said yesterday. 'I was a fat kid and it's hard enough.

'If I was still the size I used to be I wouldn't go to the carnival because I would think people were laughing at me.

Since she's not fat, she'll be going because it's all right now. I'm not fat but I wouldn't go to that carnival because it is frankly disgusting. As a smoker, I know how public humiliation feels and would do nothing to support the same treatment handed out to any other group. I won't be joining the mob. Especially because if this is a 'success', the drinker, the smoker, the driver and any other demonised group will be next.

'I know there is a message to get across in terms of eating healthily but if they are going to burn something can't it just be burgers?

Burned burger - yum. I like 'em crunchy. No, they can't just burn burgers because burgers are not the target of this Righteous crusade. People who are overweight are the target. The burger is an irrelevance. Even the NHS actually know that it's not what you eat, it's how much you eat that determines how fat you get. I've met some extraordinarily chubby vegetarians and some very slim burger-lovers. It's simply a matter of calories in vs. calories used. The excess turns into fat no matter how it originated. When you eat fat, it is not stored as fat because it's not human fat. It is broken down and used, just like carbohydrate and protein - any excess is remade into fat and stored. Don't want to get fat? Don't have too much excess. Of anything.

'I don't think they've considered it could be taken the other way and have people picking on overweight kids.

Yes, they have. That's the whole point of it. They want those overweight people humiliated into submission. Their 'passive obesity' didn't work, they can't justify excluding fat people on that basis, so they are going to give the mob a new way to exclude the fat people. They are going to burn them.

Oh, look. Seems I missed something:

The giant sculpture - of an obese boy standing in an ash tray beneath a mountain of fast food - was designed by theatre company Dodgy Clutch.

Standing in an ashtray... a preview of next year's witch-burning, perhaps? This is straight out of the Middle Ages Book of the Righteous, isn't it? Burn them in effigy and soon, the mob will start to burn the real ones. Then the race will be Pure and Righteous. All non-smoking and non-drinking and all of the approved weight and... Aryan.

So where are you, Righteous? Ah, there you are...

NHS Barnsley and Barnsley Council today defended the design.

Well, who expected that?

An NHS Barnsley spokesman refused to say how much the sculpture would cost but insisted it was 'within the budget to promote active lifestyles'.

Elaine Ogden, Fit for the Future Co-ordinator for NHS Barnsley, added: 'One of the biggest health issues we face in Barnsley is cardiovascular disease.

Not for long, Righteous Ogden. One of the biggest health issues you are about to face is violence against anyone overweight. Your cardiovascular disease problem is about to become a side-issue.

'The Heart of Barnsley festival is one way in which NHS Barnsley will engage with local people to raise awareness of the risk factors associated with heart disease.

'Bye Bye Burger Boy is just one element of this event.'

Just one element, yes indeed. You're not going to miss the opportunity to turn your mob on other targets at the same time. Smokers and drinkers and everyone else had better steer clear of this woman. She's a Witchfinder and she is ready to light that fire. They are going to burn a 40-foot effigy and they'll nag at, and maybe even arrest anyone who smokes nearby. Not one of them will spot the comic horror of that situation.

This time, an effigy.

Next time?

Barnsley. Don't go there unless you are perfect.


Anonymous said...

Glad to see Barnsley now has more going for it than just an interesting line in UK Jihadis!

I am Stan said...

Leg-Iron -Youve outraged me again!,

Fuck em,I was going to take the dog for a long walk tonight,come home and have a cheese salad and read a book with a sensible glass or two of wine....


Fuck it,short walk for the dog,and then Im out on the lash,copious amounts of real ale,and I know a late night burger van who does the greasiest onionist burgers ever,I`m having two.

Oh and instead of my occasional roll ups,fuck it,I`m getting a pack of 20 Malboro`s and smoking the fucking lot.

Childish,yeah probably, but hey I`m gonna enjoy myself hahahahaha....cause I`m a grown man so there Nah na na na nah!

Burning effigies of fatties...cunts!

Mark Wadsworth said...

I can see the headlines already "Man shot while evading cardiac arrest".

Shades said...

It is worth going to the carnival- to boo and call out "SHAME!" as the float goes past.

(Word verification "hordemen"

jphn miller said...

It shows how communist our country has become.

You can't make a homosexual joke at a policeman's horse, but if the State approves of the victim, Machiavelli takes over and any means is justified, no matter how immoral or unlawful.

For I am absolutely certain this must break one of Labour's 10,000 new laws.

Anonymous said...

Don't want to get fat? Don't have too much excess. Of anything.

Sound, albeit tautologically challenged advice.

Great post, too.

Captain Haddock said...

And the bloody Taxpayer is funding this load of old bollocks ..

Gordon "McSnot" Brown is an overweight, useless lump of lard .. wonder if they'll burn an effigy of him too ? ...

Or "Pies" Prescott .. now there's another prime candidate ..

Nah .. didn't think so ...

PT Barnum said...

Yes, Captain H., how many (a) meddling MPs, (b) nurses, (c) doctors, (d) council employees are overweight, obese, clinically obese or morbidly obese?

Wasn't there something in the Bible about planks and motes?

JuliaM said...

Ah, but Jamie Oliver will be cheering it on, no doubt...

MU said...

So who's got a mask for Britain's next Wicker Man event? I hear they're arranging the mass deaths of smokers and fatties inside as the centrepiece for the 2012 games.

Ironically the captcha is "State"..

banned said...

So how come only the boys of Barnsley are benefitting from this campaign? What is being done to promote healthy lifestyle "choices" within the LGBTG corpulent community?

Wat Dabney said...

Barnsley Council's own Running of the Jews.

Paul Bailey said...

"The Wicker Man" comes to Barnsley!

Anonymous said...

it's all just utter fucking rubbish. i dunno what the wicker man is though.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

How about lining the route with fat people (those who are uncorpulently challenged wearing fatty suits) all eating scrumptious hamburgers, with or without cheese, and lashing of tomato sauce.

Are the verification words random or selected? Corplar!


Anonymous said...

I just fear the mammoth task the're taking on. Have you actually sat and watched people in a town centre as they walk past? see the size of their guts? Barnsley's 10x worse :)

And if you're not fat in the 'tarn then you're more than likely a smackhead....

All the best to you all from a tarn lad (over 20 stones as well (oh s**t, I'm screwed)) - At least I should lose some weight trying to run away from the mobs!

Anonymous said...

and what the hell has an overflowing ashtray got to do with obesity? Oh, that's right, fat people are now to share the honour, already enjoyed by smokers, of being considered scum. The message couldn't be clearer.

Are the people who thought this up brain-dead or just evil?


Snakey said...

The PTB are psychopathic and their pathology is filtering down into the NHS departments and council offices. Every day it's getting more and more like Germany in the 1930s.

Anonymous said...

Just think of the amount of carbon that's going to release into the atmosphere...Just think of those children with asthma in the surrounding areas being forced to inhale that dangerous smoke. Surely the parade organisers should be fined on health and safety grounds?

...and will you be allowed to smoke while watching it?

Anonymous said...

I hope fat people will be taking the council and the NHS to court for discrimination. Use their tools against them.

This is another good example of why we should starve the beast (the government and corporations) of our money. If they didn't have so much of it, they wouldn't be able to spend it so freely.

Once again, they're pitting society against a particular group. They're picking us off, one group at a time. I doubt they could care less about obesity, salt eaters, drinkers, etc. The idea is to divide and control.

Notice the symbolism. They love that.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Whoops! Saw this late, obviously.

Great article, LI.

Ed P said...

"Fit for the future Co-ordinator" just isn't a real job, is it? Along with "Outreach whatevers" & "Telephone Sanitisers" (oh, sorry, that was fictional), hopefully these parasitic oxygen thiefs will soon be unemployed

Captain Haddock said...

PT Barnum said ...

"Wasn't there something in the Bible about planks and motes" ?

Sorry PTB .. the Bible never was my strong suit ..

About the only story I can remember (and not very well at that) .. is the one about some bloke called "Simpson" slaying some other bloke with the "arse-bone of a Jew" .. Lol

Anonymous said...

I see no indication in the "artist's impression" of beer glasses, lager cans or empty wine bottles, though. So, no prizes, then, for guessing what is the chosen indulgence for the staff of Barnsley Council, Barnsley NHS and the never-before-heard-of (and, hopefully soon-to-be-forgotten) Dodgy Clutch Theatre Company.

prm said...

Oh FFS. Yes to all the above fury of course but the waste of money! (And it must be a lot if they are refusing to cough up the figures). When will people realise that we DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY. Next time some half-wit warbles on about not cutting public spending, point to this. And keep pointing. Don't let them off the hook.

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