Tonight I am practising for tomorrow night with a bottle of Bunnahabhain and I have twelve samples of stinky pig crap to deal with tomorrow so I won't practise too hard. Smoking destroys your sense of smell? Oh, I wish there were even the slightest hint of truth in that. As it is, a hangover and twelve pots of pig poo is not a desirable combination no matter how many I smoke.
I also have a voucher for £6 off in Tesco if I spend more than £40. Lagavulin is £40 in there. An idea is forming... a very good, sensible and logical idea.
I still have to decide who to vote for tomorrow. The BNP or the Tories. The BNP will repeal the smoking ban, the Tories will repeal the foxhunting ban. It's a tough choice for a smoker who actually quite likes foxes.
On the other hand, the BNP want to kick out immigrants and I'm third generation but not Anglo-Saxon. They'd get to me eventually. On the third hand (the antismokers give us an infinite number of hands) it might not be totally a bad thing, getting repatriated at someone else's expense to somewhere less Stasi-oriented and sunnier. I'm not the only one thinking that way.
On the fourth hand, I wouldn't want to be the one whose vote led to the Fourth Reich. But on the fifth hand, would it really be any worse than five more years of Labour, or even five more years under any of the EU-Aryan parties? Would it? Really? It doesn't look like it to me.
In the run-up to the election, Labour's multicultural society have done this and this and this and this. Now this is pure BNP vote-on-a-plate stuff. It is surprising they are not on to a majority on the back of Labour's efforts to put them in power. As it is, it will come as no surprise to find, on Friday, that they have a seat or two. I, for one, welcome our new 'send-me-somewhere-nice' overlords.
So the BNP have to be wrecked and this has been attempted by their website guy. What an idiot. What a total Kerry McCarthy of a web presence they had there. No other sensible party would have... oh.
It matters not at all. We webbies are not the BNP target vote. They are stealing Labour voters, who use the internet for games and porn and learn about the news by reading the Daily Mirror on the toilet. They will not even hear about this new BNP scandal (if you can call it that in relation to the other parties) until well after the election.
So the BNP are accused of infighting, wasting donations and having weak leadership. Sounds to me like they are ready for the mainstream.
BNP or Tory. It's going to bug me until I place that X. Neither will win here so both are a protest vote but they are at diametrically opposite ends of the political spectrum. So do I protest about socialism first, or about the smoking ban?
Might be easier to just move out. On the other hand it might be more fun to stand as a candidate.
Decision over the weekend, I think. Voting decision by 10pm tomorrow and it might go to the wire this time.
I can't not-vote. If I don't vote, how can I complain about the ones I didn't vote for?