No rant from me tonight. I am shattered.
Across the road lives a joiner. I asked him for a bit of advice on my tatty old shed - should I get a new roof? He said no, the thing has another five years to go, maximum, and then I'd be left with a good roof on top of a pile of rotten wood. Best to patch it up for now and replace the whole thing in a couple of years - before it falls down.
So I bought some roofing felt, felt-glue and clout nails and a bottle of whisky to bribe a Smoky-Drinker into putting it on the shed. Me and ladders have never been good friends.
Well, here's the thing. If you're the one on the ground, passing stuff up to the one fixing the roof, the thing to remember is that felt-glue is thick and black and very, very sticky and prone to dripping on you and on everything else. Everyone involved ends up covered in it. You can't even roll a cigarette because your fingers are coated in super-strong glue.
It took about three hours to re-cover the shed roof in new felt. It took at least another hour to reduce the coating of glue on my hands to the point where I could pick something up and be confident of putting it down again. I still have patches.
So I'm off to soak in a bath of white spirit. If I don't come back tomorrow, it'll be because I forgot where I was and lit a cigarette.
The shed, however, is waterproof again and I don't have to clean it out this year. Result!