Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Like an asteroid.

Fun to watch it burn, but there's a hell of a mess when it hits.

It is now burning very brightly indeed, this particular election, and when it hits the fan it's going to be more than a couple of rabbit pellets. In fact, it's not so much one turd and a desk fan that's coming, more the produce of a herd of elephants after a right old curry binge, and a power-station turbine. Best dig out the oilskins. It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good and this particular wind is very ill indeed.

I think that's a sufficiently convoluted mixed metaphor. Few of the Righteous will get past that.

The thing about the Righteous is that they work for the benefit of one thing and one thing only. Themselves. They can tolerate each other if they are all getting what they want, but they never really work together. Each is working for his or her own advancement and nothing else matters to them. They are a very risky team to assemble, as Count Mandelstein is finding out. While it's all going well, they are almost controllable but now it's all falling apart, the self-interest comes out.

As it did when the Gorgon's motorbike midget, Red Hazel, popped up with her 'rocking the boat' badge when he slighted her. The merest crack is enough to set them off, they are all paranoid and all believe themselves Entitled, so all it takes is a wrong word and their venomous nature takes over at once.

In this election there is no Labour party. There is a collection of seats with self-interested people trying to keep them. They all wear the same colour rosette but that is the full extent of their bonding. They really don't like each other very much, they are held together only by the tenuous link that they hate the rest of us more.

In Scotland, the Gorgon's big worry for his own Scottish seat is Lib Dem or maybe SNP. The Tories won't unseat him. So he is terrified by the Clog dance of the Indecision Party and makes it clear he will have nothing to do with them. 'Don't vote for them', he says, 'they are led by someone young enough to have had a Labour education and we all know how crap that is'. And yet his fat jester, Ed 'Bouncy' Balls, is saying to his English voters 'Vote Lib Dem, it'll keep the Tories out, hopefully split the opposition vote and let me keep my seat'. Mr. Eugenides has noticed this too. It's all self-interest and nothing more. Party loyalty only works for these people when they benefit directly from it.

Count Mandelstein has turned on his patchwork pet too and is not-exactly-quietly supporting a new leader for after the election. Bananaman might indeed be a good choice for a banana republic, which seems to be where we are heading. We will have Commonwealth election monitors for the first time ever this year. No party seems at all embarrassed by this and I expect Labour will claim they asked them to come. They probably have council houses and benefits bribes lined up for them already.

It's not just ballot-stuffing either. If they suspect you might not vote Labour, they have other ways of stopping you.

Despite Kerry McCarthy's triumphant and lawbreaking global reveal of her postal votes, showing Labour votes in the hundreds and everyone else on less than a dozen (an odd but common anomaly of the postal voting system), despite the corruption these criminals have displayed at every level, not even Count Mandelstein could possibly think that a win for Labour would be seen as anything other than a total fraud. He must realise that winning this election would give rise to an uncontrollable population within hours.

Lord 'Digger' Digby-Jones has been keeping Labour's grave warm and putting in a little pre-election boot at the last minute. Labour candidates have been happy to stick the knife into the Brown Gorgon, and even Slotgob has shown up to give it a little twist while the Tanny Blair has been out saying that he didn't really think the Gorgon was a git and that polls don't matter because those are about what ordinary people think, and Labour don't consider ordinary people to be anything more than a nuisance. Well, the polls open in about 30 hours from now and we all have the chance to show Labour just how much of a nuisance we can be.

However, don't get too ecstatic. Even if Labour are obliterated, they are going to leave a hell of a mess for someone to clear up.

If they win... run. They won't clear up. They'll make it worse.


Dioclese said...

Spot on! As far as I can see the only certainty in this election is the most gratifying spectacle of watching that bastard Brown get ripped to pieces in a feeding frenzy of hyenas from his own ranks.

Never has it been more richly deserved. I just can't wait. Will he still be there by Saturday?

Young Mr. Brown said...

"showing Labour votes in the hundreds and everyone else on less than a dozen (an odd but common anomaly of the postal voting system)"

Ah yes. I take it that you read about Jerome Taylor.

Kerry McCarthy managed to give the game away about why Jerome Taylor got treated the way he did.

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