The horns are supposed to be on the outside, you idiots.

(Quick visits for a few days. Busy putting out far too few invoices this quarter and looking for new work).

The bloody Vikings have introduced a tax on fat. The Vikings! What happened to those images of rough, beefy, spike-hatted chaps tearing chunks off spit-roast hog and wiping the fat off their chins with the backs of their hands? Sadly, no more. They must be wearing their hats inside-out these days because they're acting as if they've kebabed their brains.

Their government has, naturally, applied no sense at all to this new venture. I've mentioned before about someone I know who insists that all fat is bad - including a trace of olive oil. That is the logic the Danes have taken on.

The new tax affects all foods that contain saturated fats, from butter and dairy products and meats to oils and pre-cooked foods.

Butter. Milk. Bread is made with fat (it certainly is when I make it - I use lard) and now we have bread with added Omega-3 to boost both health and price. Guess what Omega-3 is? It's fat. So that's your most basic of foods, the ones everyone buys, loaded with tax. Try dodging that one. Even if you make your own bread using beef dripping - they've got you with a tax on the beef.

The horrible plasticine butter-replacements are made of fat too but I bet they won't be taxed. Someone in a lab somewhere spent a lot of money developing that junk and you are damn well going to buy it whether you like it or not. (That applies to an awful lot of things, when you think about it)

Meat. That must surely include Spam and that's going to really annoy any remaining Vikings over there.

Oils. Any food that contains saturated fats, even if it also contains lots of essential fats that your body can't make, but needs for cell membrane integrity or nerve insulation. There is no real attempt to discriminate between terrible saturated fats and those that are good for you - and indeed, those that are essential. No, the stupid sods have taxed the lot. It's for health.

No it isn't.

A DI spokeswoman said: "The way that this has been put together is an administrative nightmare, and I doubt whether it will give better health."

Well of course it won't. The last thing these zealots want is to introduce something that actually works. They'd put themselves out of a job.  As VGIF points out when deriding Oily Al's latest prohibitionist frenzy, it's not supposed to have any effect at all. It's just there so they can say 'Well that didn't work so we'll have to try something else' while conveniently forgetting to rescind all the useless measures they've already applied.

This fat tax is a means to collect revenue and you can't avoid paying because it's on basic foodstuffs. It has no other purpose. Don't imagine for a moment that your government, wherever you are, actually gives a rancid shrew's pancreas about your health. All they care about is your money. Don't imagine those fake charities and pressure groups are there for your benefit either. They are there for their own benefit. Nobody else's.

When I was small we used to get free milk at school every day. Now the Danes declare it so evil it has to be taxed to cut down the amount people buy. Did anyone else notice falling through that looking-glass?

Why, oh why, do the people of this planet keep voting for brainless morons? Is it because nobody with an actual functioning brain ever stands for government any more?

Maybe intelligence is seen as 'elitist' now so people are afraid to vote for it?