Tuesday, 4 October 2011

It'll never happen... until it does.

Yesterday I said that smoking has been blamed for all diseases apart from dandruff. It only took six hours before comments came in to prove me wrong.

We're blamed for dandruff too.

Dandruff is caused by dehydration, these idiots claim, and dehydration is caused by smoking because, well, cigarettes are hot. That's about the extent of the logic there. It's enough for every antismoking dolt to accept because they are dimmer than an eco-bulb and twice as toxic.

So it is not possible for any non-smoker to suffer from a) dandruff or b) dehydration because these things are caused by smoking. Lucky for the non-smoking boozer who soon won't be allowed to have any, eh? Hear that, antismokers? Don't worry about dehydration. It can't possibly happen to you. That thirst is a sinful feeling, you must resist it!

Meanwhile the fat tax approaches. Vacant-eyed drooling cretin David Cameron has decided that he wants a fat tax like the Vikings because he is incapable of rational thought and has the intellectual capacity of a decapitated woodlouse. The army of drones will agree because they think it won't apply to them. Only fat people will pay this tax, thin people's cheese and milk and bread and meat will be magically unaffected. Just as the hospitality industry was totally unaffected by the smoking ban.

It's a tax. Its purpose is the same as any other tax - to take money from you. It has no other purpose and it is not about health. It's also a softener for a future tax on all foods. Yes, Vegan too. Then water and maybe even air. What, did you think it would stop at just the fats? Really? Name one other current control-frenzy that has stopped. This one already has sugar and salt in its sights for its next step. Soon you'll all join the smokers in being denied that NHS treatment you've already paid for because they don't approve of your lifestyle. Oh, and you'll have to pay tax on your home-grown fruit and vegetables too.

National Insurance is now officially nothing more than an extortion racket. They have no intention of delivering the service but if you don't pay, they send the boys round. Soon they'll have this in America too. I bet they can't wait.

Oh, and here's something you'll never hear at the tills:


"I can't sell you this doughnut because you might give it to a child and make them fat'.

Noooo, that can't possibly happen, can it? Huh. I'm surprised it hasn't already.

Oh well. Best stock up on butter before the warning labels appear. Fortunately it freezes well.

11 comments:

Bill Sticker said...

"The intellectual capacity of a decapitated woodlouse...."

Probably not even that. As for the other lot, they're even worse. Milliband makes Camoron look like a towering intellectual giant.

JuliaM said...

"Dandruff is caused by dehydration, these idiots claim, and dehydration is caused by smoking because, well, cigarettes are hot. That's about the extent of the logic there."

*boggle*

Anonymous said...

"Dandruff is caused by dehydration, these idiots claim, and dehydration is caused by smoking because, well, cigarettes are hot. That's about the extent of the logic there."

I knew their science was out of the ark, but really!


"First, it is thought by you a sure Aphorisme in the Physickes, That the braines of all men, beeing naturally colde and wet, all dry and hote things should be good for them; of which nature this stinking suffumigation is, and therefore of good use to them. Of this Argument, both the Proposition and Assumption are false, and so the Conclusion cannot but be voyd of it selfe.

For as to the Proposition, That because the braines are colde and moist, therefore things that are hote and drie are best for them, it is an inept consequence: For man beeing compounded of the foure Complexions, (whose fathers are the foure Elements) although there be a mixture of them all in all the parts of his body, yet must the divers parts of our Microcosme or little world within our selves, be diversly more inclined, some to one, some to another complexion, according to the diversitie of their uses, that of these discords a petfect harmonie may bee made up for the maintenance of the whole body."

"And that the suffumigation thereof cannot have a drying qualitie, it needes no further probation, then that it is a smoake, all smoake and vapour, being of it selfe humide, as drawing neere to the nature of the ayre, and easie to be resolved againe into water, whereof there needes no other proofe but the Meteors, which being bred of nothing else but of the vapours and exhalations sucked up by the Sunne out of the earth, the Sea, and waters yet are the sarne smoakie vapours turned, and transformed into Raynes, Snowes, Deawes, hoare Frostes, and such like waterie Meteors, as by the contrarie the raynie cloudes are often transformed and evaporated in blustering winds."

"And next, I deny the Minor of this argument, as I have already said, in regard that this Tobacco, is not simply of a dry and hot qualitie; but rather hath a certaine venemous facultie joyned with the heate thereof, which makes it have an Antipathie against nature, as by the hatefull smell thereof doeth well appeare."

A Counterblaste to Tobacco
King James I of England - 1604

I hope that helped.


Rose

UKIP said...

"they are dimmer than an eco-bulb and twice as toxic."

Lol!

prog said...

My 'hair care professional' smokes between customers. Also cuts the hair of the local environmental health officer - who is blissfully unaware. His shop (part of a small shopping mall) measures about 10 x 12 with one small window above head height. He must have some form of artificial ventilation cos there is no smell of fag smoke whatsoever - I only realised he was smoking when I saw him with a rolly. Great bloke - those customers I've seen all seem to pay a tenner for a £7.50 cut....

Anonymous said...

I've paid into the NHS for years and all the money goes into the collective pot.

When I wanted physiotherapy for a frozen shoulder, could I get it? Could I buggery.

The money paid into the NHS should go to an individual's personal account.

Chalcedon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chalcedon said...

I always thought it was Pityrosporum ovale, the famous bottle-shaped yeast that caused dandruff. Funny how non-smokers can have dandruff and many smokers will be dandruff-free.

Chalcedon said...

Have you nioticed that chefs on TV always season their dishes with salt? Food tastes better with salt. The right amount of salt is to taste, that is how you like it personally. They have already started with producers of processed foods.

Amusing Bunni said...

The scums will set up a fat tax there in UK, and I bet it's coming here too, with moochelle the fat assed cow trying to dictate what we should eat with her "let's move" nonsensical crap. I can't wait until they all move into a prison cell.

Anonymous said...

Tax it all till it dies.

Isn't that UGGOV policy these days as they scrabble over each other trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel of our money?

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