Tuesday 25 October 2011

Cokeheads.

Fizzy drinks have been in the Righteous crosshairs for some time, so it's really no surprise to find it promoted to 'addiction'.

Two cans a week? You're an addict and you will soon be out knifing pensioners for your next Fanta fix.

Is this ridiculous enough for the drones to call a halt to the whole circus? Nope. Commenters are already blaming caffeine and demanding something be done. The dopes drone ever onwards, believing all the crap they are fed without question. What will it take to get these people to actually think for a moment? A claim that oak trees are plotting to take over the world? The deadly toxicity of dandelions? Bed-bugs carrying third hand smoke between hotel rooms (wait, I've already used that one and yes, they believed it). There are even those who believe that electrical sockets leak electricity if they are switched on with nothing plugged in.

No wonder the Righteous are doing so well. The general public's gullibility has no floor.

I wonder what the Righteous do for enjoyment? I suspect they derive most pleasure in life from threading wire through kittens' eyes and frying newly-hatched ducklings for breakfast.

That sets them up for a full day of tormenting the rest of us.


Update: A prediction. I expect to see, by the end of the year at the latest, calls to stop the frequent multi-buy offers on cans of pop. I don't think they'll try minimum pricing yet but they're confident enough so maybe.

14 comments:

Smoking Hot said...

##GROAN## I'm waiting for 'Researchers have shown that researchers are bereft of any understanding of reality". l won't hold my breath though.

Who the hell is paying these lunatics?

Leg-iron said...

Who's paying? Look in your wallet. See that empty space?

That's where the money comes from.

Woodsy42 said...

Dear Mr Iron, I didn't know about the oak trees and have two small ones in my garden. Now I am worried how I should deal with them. If I cut them down will the other larger trees take revenge? I don't want to leave them until they are large enough to start killing us all.

Smoking Hot said...

Nope LI, wallets ok ... l quit UK a few years back. Still visit a lot as family is here. I sold up everything and moved out.

Anonymous said...

It's OK Woodsie. I've 6 or 7 oak trees in my garden, maybe upwards of 50 years old. If you talk nicely to them they are quite well behaved. They just like to be treated with respect.

They don't like old people though... so I'd move out before you get to your dottage.

Anonymous said...

I came across a study that suggested that drinking too much tea causes rapid deterioration in health. They sampled care home residents and found that they drank more than the average number of cups per day. They also found, though, that the kind of tea mattered: those who'd had a history of drinking Earl Grey were less unhealthy.

Would that be stupid enough for them?

Jay

George Speller said...

"electrical sockets leak electricity" . . . reminds me of those nutty "safety covers" pillocks put in their 13a sockets - mandatory in many NHS clinics. There is no record of anyone being killed by poking things in 13a sockets - they're shuttered of course. Sadly the covers marginally reduce the safety of the sockets by actually opening the shutters, and can be inserted upside down to achieve just this. But you try telling them. How can such a stupid society survive?

Michael Fowke said...

I'm on two cans a day. I must be the biggest thug around.

Anonymous said...

To be fair, the survey was in America (not the UK - take note, Smoking Hot), and the article does go on to question the veracity of the conclusions reached. I suspect that the tongue may well have been firmly stuck in cheek in the original report.

BUT...

That it should be reported at all could be a reasonable cause for concern.

We do live in a mad, mad, mad, mad world - and, even sadder, it is getting ever madder!

RSP

banned said...

Saw the same nonsense in the Telegraph and @Anon above, got the impression that the report might have been sarcastic. What chance that those lads more likely to rob, rampage and pillage might also be more likely to find fizzy drinks attractive? I was never inclined to either.

Leg-iron said...

The report was in America but the Righteousness is global.

The rather weak refutation at the end came from the drinks industry (soon to be labelled Big Fizz and we'll all be in the pay of it for objecting) and is just like the feeble words from the tobacco and booze industries when the Banmeisters targeted them.

So Big Fizz is going the same way as Big Tobacco, Big Booze and Big Salt.

Oh, I wish I was really in the pay of them all. I wouldn't need a blog. I could afford to project my ramblings onto the Moon.

Mad world, RSP? You won't believe how many versions of a fictional dystopia I've had tpo scrap.

Leg-iron said...

I'm on one can of fizz a day. It's the supermarket Red Bull clone (can't tell the difference and the own-brand is cheaper) and it's because the esperesso machine takes ten minutes to heat up.

Addiction? Well, I wake up every single day so I must be addicted to that too. I'm sure it will be called addiction by those who start every day with coffee but see it as different. Or by those who start every day with cereal. Or yoghourt, or tofu.

jocelyn jack esien said...

18:27

funnily enough, i happened to meet one of those radical feminist types on the train the other day - having set out her case against female circumcision, she appeared quite surprised that, by way of reciprocation, i should wish to enlist her moral support in my own campaign against male circumcision. i'm pretty sure she was descended from a privileged or aristocratic line of some description - because when friendly strangers helped her to transport her excessive luggage from the station, she blithely failed to dismiss the bemused chance-charitable-assistants with a timely "thank you and good-bye", seeming instead to assume that, by simple virtue of having offered their services, the unfortunate souls had consented to become her bag-carriers for life. african princesses, na wah o.

the nuclear firm said...

19:01

ah yes...'little princesses', the african continent's answer to the 'little emperors' of china - except you get quite a few more to each family...sadly, british culture only manages to produce nasty 'little yobs'...like fox, haig, and cameron.

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