Tuesday, 9 February 2010

State of the nation.

And what a desperate state it's in.

Real Street has depressing news. Of the thirty percent still intending to vote Labour, half of them think the country is a total mess and want to leave. Well, you stupid bastards voted for them three times, and you're intending to do it again. Worse, almost everyone is going to vote for one of the Triad. Nobody has been paying attention, have they?

Furor Teutonicus, writing on Fausty's blog, has a perfect explanation for the feeble state of modern people. Army recruits who can't stand to be shouted at! What the hell use are they? What did they think the Army did - deliver meals on wheels to Afghani pensioners?

A deficit that can only be paid by putting the country back to the Dark Ages and starting again. Dover sold off to the French. Power supplies sold off to any foreign country who wants them. Police who have to make a certain number of arrests, with no regard to the level of criminal arrested, and therefore achieve targets by looking out for easy ones. Schools that teach more Socialism than science and turn out students who know much but understand little. Children who believe themselves indestructible. Controls on every detail of life. People actively looking for things to be offended at. The law coming down on the side of those people who have found something irrelevant to be offended at. The law defending the criminal from his evil, elitist victim who thinks that just because he's worked for something he should be allowed to keep it. So much more, too much to recall at one time.

And yet while there is so much wrong with this country, while the whole place spins into the waste disposal unit, what have our government declared as a priority for their attention?

The word 'chairman' is sexist and must be banned.

Yes, they've found something to ban and are bouncing up and down with delight. Thirty percent of the people of this country will still vote for them. If you're one of them, and you're also an antismoker, did you know that even reading a blog by a smoker will give you shortness of breath and immediate cancer? Feel that shortness of breath coming on? The tightening in the chest? Your heart is cramping because of fourth hand smoke transmitted through your computer. ASH have conclusively proved the risk by using someone in a white coat to say it for them. I have an electronic cigarette here too, which transmits nicotine straight to the keys on your keyboard. It's even plugged into the USB port of my computer to maximise the effect. I'm taking a puff now. Here it comes. By now, your fingers will start to tingle as your entire metabolism shuts down. You'll be dead in a few minutes. It's going to be excruciatingly painful. Bye.

Well, if they're stupid enough to fall for other people's hype, they're stupid enough to fall for mine.

The Righteous have landed in Iraq too. It's becoming exactly the same over there. There are bombs and bullets every day, the electricity and water supplies are intermittent at best, the roads are full of holes, and guess what their government sees as a priority? A smoking ban. That's modern Western democracy, Iraqis. Get it out of there while you still can.

While we implode into a cowering mass, point the finger of blame at everyone around us and wait for some mythical superhero to save us rather than getting off our backsides and dealing with our own lives, the Government is busy deciding what to call someone who sits in a chair.

How did it come to this? Simple. It happened through the ballot box. Lots of bits of paper with 'X' on them. Soon we will do it again. More bits of paper with 'X' on them will determine what happens to us next.

It all comes down to where individuals put their 'X'. Put it next to Labour if you want them to decide what colour to paint the lampposts in your street and which bin you can put a used kebab into. Put it next to the Tories if your priorities are giving more money to Europe and shivering in the dark in the name of Greenness. Put it next to the Lib Dems if you have no priorities and have no idea what you want. In Scotland, put it next to the SNP if you really need someone to tell you how much you are allowed to drink and how much you are prepared to pay for it.

If you want an actual government who will do things like running the country, and leave you alone to live your own life in your own way, put that X somewhere else. Anywhere else. Put it on the back of your hand and slip the unmarked paper into the box if you want.

The next chance might be the last chance. Treat it as if it is.

Otherwise, get ready to have CCTV installed in every home for the sake of the cheeeldren. And forget about emigrating. There soon won't be anywhere left to go.

Last chance coming up. Pencils at the ready...


Wrinkled Weasel said...

Who are these people who still inexplicably vote Labour?

I wish, really wish that the vote should only be available to people who can a. speak English, and b. correctly identify the leaders of the main parties.

microdave said...

Depressingly true reading, none more so than the last few words:
"And forget about emigrating. There soon won't be anywhere left to go."

JuliaM said...

"A deficit that can only be paid by putting the country back to the Dark Ages and starting again."

Well, in some areas, there's not so far to go, is there?

"Who are these people who still inexplicably vote Labour?"

At a pinch, I'd guess people who are sufficiently wealthy not to be affected, or people whose livelihood depends on thm...

JuliaM said...

"...the vote should only be available to people who can a. speak English, and b. correctly identify the leaders of the main parties."

Hell, anyone can do that...

"Ummm, mentalist, power-hungry cretin, and...ooh, it's on the tip of my tongue. Ah, right. Nonentity."

opsimath said...

An unmarked ballot slip is a vote for anyone the teller fancies - cross them ALL.

Leg-iron said...

Opsimath - good point. Spoiled ballot papers have to be counted.

Make them work.

Anonymous said...

Not sure I agree on spoiled ballot papers. Surely they will just ignore this? I think it better to vote for someone other than the big three.

Anonymous said...

Can you get someone to come up with a good design that can be put on a t-shirt, containing such gens as you have in your rant?
"reading a blog by a smoker will give you shortness of breath and immediate cancer"
"third hand smoking"
"sponteaneous heart-attacks from being next to an e-smoker"

I'd love to wear such a t-shirt. Ridicule is the way forward...(tm)

Another t-shirt that I want is the image taken from "nazis kill women and children" poster from WWI/II with the wording changed to "Did Magna Carta die for nothing?"

Anybody claiming to be offended would be required to explain how a document signed in 1215 could be offended. Or a British government poster could be offensive when stripped of any racial wording (and no swasticas or hun-helmets either!)

These people have made the leap to ridicule desrving bullshit - time to give them their just-desserts

Anonymous said...

gems not gens

My keyboard is over the safe typing limit, I haven't finished the bottle yet...

Not said...

The scary thought is that for everyone one of me who votes for a Not-Big-Three candidate, there will be 10 twats who vote Labour because they always vote Labour since they are irredeemably stupid.

Another Labour victory.

I don't want to vote Big Three.. but I have no faith in my fellows not to be stupid.

No idea what to do.

PT Barnum said...

I think not voting (including spoiled ballots) is a cop out, and is what this political class, of all colours, wishes to happen. No minimum turnout required to get elected means if only party workers vote, while the rest of us despair, the most belligerent and bloated machine gets into power.

wv = promo?!

Leg-iron said...

Anon 19:43. I think it's better to vote for someone else, but there are many who refuse to vote on principle.

I'd rather they handed in a paper with all the boxes marked than not show up at all.

I have a theory that if everyone turned out to vote, there wouldn't be enough ballot papers for them all. They're only expecting 30% of us to show, remember.

What happens if the ballot papers run out, and people are denied their chance to vote? I'd like to see that.

Leg-iron said...

Anon 19:59. I think cafepress and similar groups can do that. They're not cheap though. I'll give it some thought.

Leg-iron said...

PT Barnum - over 60% don't vote at all. If only there were a way to mobilise them all, there wouldn't be a single MP retaining a seat at the next election.

I don't have a way to do it. Any ideas would be welcome.

Anonymous said...

It is depressing. In a group that I'm involved in we had candidates from the three main Parties come to visit us - hardly anyone turned up. I would like to think it's because the members think all the three main Parties are a pile of pooh & they intend to vote for UKIP, BNP, Greens,whatever, but really I suspect that they will either not bother to vote at all or will vote for whoever they always vote for. Very few people seem to understand Cause & Effect.

microdave said...

@Anon 21:17 - why not get someone from a smaller party to visit your group (announce it in the same way), and see if more turn up.

I bet that a BNP supporter would guarantee a good number, if only so they could hurl abuse.....

paulo said...

The optimist in me says people won't vote out of despair, a sort of "what's the point?" but the pessimist (the real me) says that is just what Labour want.

Over the last 13 years they have eradicated education and managed to infantalise the majority of the population. Result - too many in the country believe all the crap spouted by those in authority and if GB promises redemption they believe the useless idiot.

And Labour Lite won't be any better.

Yes LI we are indeed on the cusp of the Dark Ages!



Pingu in Portugal said...

TO THE BARRICADES! Good god I need a blog which doesn't see the impending doom so I don't have to delve back into my fantasy novels. Labour makes Shai'tan from Robert Gordon's Wheel of Time epic seem like a petulant child, not the essence of evil.

paul said...

Being someone whos work is based on logic, if I think too much about those third of Labour voters who want to leave the country, Im afraid my head would explode.

Weekend Yachtsman said...

"If you want an actual government who will do things like running the country..."

If you want that, then you're too late.

We already have one: it's in Brussels, and it will still be there doing the same things regardless of how you vote, this time or any other.

opinions powered by SendLove.to