Monday, 22 February 2010

The Eve of the War.

A while back I started on a dystopia novel, in which people are tracked by embedded chips, no child grows up with its real parents but are allocated to Party members and workers, and an underground movement of de-chipped people are known as 'ghosts'. Real-life work makes it slow and it's proving hard to keep ahead of the game anyway. Just when you think you might have some new horror thought up, it turns out Labour have already written it as policy.

Frank Davis is just starting a similar themed novel - his is based on a world where smokers and anti-smokers are approaching open warfare, and for him too, reality is fast catching up with imagination.

In real life, of course, it's always the smoker who gets the entire blame. No matter who started it. The antismoker who approached and insulted the smoker is blameless. They can do no wrong. Any retaliation by the smoker will attract the full force of the law.

Senior management consultant Linda Buchanan warned Ionel Rapisca against smoking at the station, telling him: 'I don't like the smell of cancer,' jurors were told.

Yes, well, we've all come across these. People who are so utterly useless at anything that they have to refer to themselves as a 'management consultant' and take it upon themselves to demand everyone follow their narrow and spiteful little lifestyles. They have proliferated in the last 13 years. It's best to be ready for them. Comebacks include -

"I don't really like smoking but it's the only thing that masks the stench of you" (now that one's worth a T-shirt).

"I don't like the sound of a voice that's not connected to a brain, so if you wouldn't mind turning it off, that would be nice."

Antismokers never expect a comeback because they imagine the mere act of nonsmoking is enough to guarantee intelligence and at the same time, they assume we smokers are all stupid. It's standard procedure. Anyone who does not agree with the dogma must be stupid and it's fun to push the stupid around. The bully culture of government extends all the way down to their drones. It's fine, insult the smoker, thump the smoker, they aren't allowed to fight back and if they do, the courts will always treat them as scum.

Righteous Linda enjoyed her bullying session so much that the next day, when she saw the smoker again, she made straight for him intending to have another go. He's a smoker. They can't fight back.

Well, this one did.

It is alleged he then pushed her on to the track as she had her back turned to it, causing her to land 'dangerously' near a live line carrying 750 volts.

Was it deliberate and malicious on the part of the smoker, or did he just want this irritating little harridan to leave him alone? Could it be that he just didn't want to take the bullying any more?

The antismokers reading this have already decided it was deliberate, and will no doubt have a ready explanation for what happened next.

On the track, as she lay there, Ms Buchanan could see him standing over her and she thought he might do something else.
'But in fact he jumped down and dragged her back on to the platform.'

The actions of an attempted murder or could it be, just maybe, that all he wanted was for her to go away? Could it be that he did not intend to push her off the platform at all? She was, after all, the initiator of the altercation on both occasions so she must accept part of the blame, surely?

Opening the prosecution's case, Mr O'Higgins said Ms Buchanan suffered a fractured wrist, bruising to her thigh and post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the fall.

It seems not. Breach of the peace does not apply to non-smokers when smokers are their target. Only the smoker is on trial and the hideous raddled bint is going for the full compensation package as the only victim in the case. She is the victim of a fight she started. Twice. She stands accused of... nothing.

The smoker? The one who was twice accosted by this revolting wench and who pushed her away, the second time? Who, when he saw she had fallen off the platform, risked his own life to jump down and haul her up? What is he accused of?

Romanian Rapisca, of Joyce Green Lane, Dartford, denies grievous bodily harm with intent and two alternative charges of GBH and assault occasioning actual bodily harm.

He is a smoker. Therefore he must be evil by default. She is an antismoker. She was following the Smokeless Path and therefore is pious and Righteous in all things. Her testimony is worth twice that of a smoker. I wonder where they got the idea? Smokers are second class citizens. Less than that. You'd be prosecuted for kicking a dog but not for kicking a smoker. Smokers are evil. They were evil in 'Waterworld' and that's enough proof for most of those drones.

Well, antismokers, if evil is what you want, evil is what you're going to get.

With horns and tail included. No apology, no conscience and no prisoners. But only where there's no CCTV.

You offer no quarter. Expect none in return.


Mummy x said...

Not related to this topic at all but saw this and thought of you.

Mummy x

The Filthy Engineer said...

I would be very tempted to unbutton my fly, and aim for the live rail and her to see if the volts would connect. All in the interest of science of course.

Richard said...

The best comeback I ever heard was from the father of a friend when I was at school. He was a 60-a-day Senior Service man, and was puffing away in a small bread shop. (He was totally in the wrong; even at the height of my habit I would never smoke in a food shop, but never mind.) A man tapped him on the shoulder and said "I don't think you should be smoking in here." His reply, with a smile: "Thank you for your opinion." And carried on smoking. Pure class.

Mummy x said...

Fucking Duh @ Me, was reading your last post and commented on this one. That's what happens when us wimmin have to rush off for wee personal reasons!

Mummy x

Leg-iron said...

Not to worry, Mummy. Reality is a bit fuzzy at the moment because Labour are busy changing it. Soon we will all 'remember' that the Tories have been running the country for the last 13 years and now it's time for the Brown Gorgon to step in and fix it all.

Seriously. That's the whole of their strategy. 'It was all a dream'.

When we wake, Bobby Ewing will be alive again.

Leg-iron said...

Filthy Engineer - it would be tempting. The gloves have to come off sometime or we'll all be in Smoker Ghettoes, ring a bell and shout 'unclean' wherever we go and have to wear 'warning - third hand smoke' badges.

There'll be one of the rabid drones along in a moment to agree that we should indeed be doing exactly that.

Oh, why wait? It must be possible to get those badges made up now.

Leg-iron said...

Richard - I'm impressed. Then again, nowadays that antismoker would just call the Smoke Police.

I'd never smoke in a food shop either, even when it was allowed. Now, I'm find the urge harder and harder to resist.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Indeed, LI. Gloves are off.

It will be interesting when government finally make our legal pastime illegal. If they have the balls, of course.

Frank Davis said...

his is based on a world where smokers and non-smokers are approaching open warfare,

Strictly speaking, it's a world where smokers are declaring war on anti-smokers rather than non-smokers.

Reality has caught up with that yet.

Corrugated Soundbite said...

"Romanian Rapisca, of Joyce Green Lane, Dartford, denies grievous bodily harm with intent and two alternative charges of GBH and assault occasioning actual bodily harm."

Intriguing how the Mail goes nationalist when the bloke concerned is a smoker (or not).

The fake coughs, the dirty looks. I now want to light up in places I never dreamed of lighting up before. The only thing that stops me is that it's what the establishment want. The more of us smoke, and the more often we smoke, the more cash they think they can cream off when the Big Pharma scam a few years down the line kicks off (I look forward to seeing you at our mandatory patch 'n' gum sessions, and DP ought to put in an appearance too ;-)).

Lots of Labour's imported classes smoke. You'll find me with the immigrants when it all kicks off.

Corrugated Soundbite said...

I meant "(or not)" as in "nationalist", not as in a smoker, as we all know that comes below paedophilia and murder in the taboo list. Apologies. Sigh.

P.T. Barnum said...

"Lots of Labour's imported classes smoke."

Now there's a thought! A proper multi-cultural movement which seeks to foster racial harmony through the pursuit of an historic ritual.

Is it me or are all vehement faux coughers and sniffers middle class white women?

John Pickworth said...

"Is it me or are all vehement faux coughers and sniffers middle class white women?"

They often seem to be but not exclusively so.

Reminds me of a Blog I used to regularly read (sadly no longer online) where a western chap detailed his life living in Thailand.

A reoccurring topic was the huge numbers of American and European do-gooders roaming Bangkok's streets trying to free all 'n' sundry from the sex industry, drugs or a multitude of other vices. Invariably, he'd call them 'Fat White Cows'. Often employed by an NGO, charity or other organization to free the natives from 'our interpretation' of repression. However, sometimes these FWC's were independent travelers; for example UK public sector workers taking 3 months off work (presumingly processing parking fines for a council) to spend their free time (who's paying for this I wonder) trawling the bars and clubs of Pattaya or Ko Samui looking for souls to save.

Now you'd be forgiven for thinking this is a worthwhile enterprise, something that should be done in a 'think of the children' kind of way? Possibly. But Thailand isn't our country and like it or not, they have their own way to live (and sometimes shady ways of making that living). What right do we have to meddle? More importantly, who's funding this?

Who's paying for public sector workers to take 3 or 6 months off while they swan around the world bring Jesus to others? Who do you think is funding British police officers while they patrol with their Thai equivalents in Bangkok? The NGOs and the Charities?

These are the righteous in action and they've been doing it for years... and having honed their skills abroad, the Fat White Cows and their friends are coming home to torment us here too.

Anonymous said...

"if smoking means dying young, at least i wont have to listen to you anymore"

Anonymous said...

It's a horrible story and if the truth actually was printed in all the papers in all the land and on all the TV and internet sites, the actual facts as they really are, this story in particular forced reading to everyone living and to all students in schools and universities, the whole idea of a smoking ban would become so repulsive to the majority of people that they would remain silent no more while such Nazi inspired brutality, hatred and injustice is permitted to run its course daily through every crook and cranny throughout the land. The fact such a thing goes on is testament to how fascist and hateful our government has gotten and the people begging for such a government by endorsing anti-smoking, are receiving what they asked. Tell me there'll be liberties for the next generation or the one after that and I can only see these kids and grandkids growing up in a world not unlike what Hiter's youths grew up, and this - this today, are what the majority of people are asking for their own children and grandchildren, through their failure to stand up for hateful atrocities against smokers as is outlined in this true story. How very sad to see a free society destroyed - and simply through the fact of spreading a hatred against a puff of smoke. Pure evil is what thought that one up - pure and utter evil from hell.

JuliaM said...

"The actions of an attempted murder or could it be, just maybe, that all he wanted was for her to go away? Could it be that he did not intend to push her off the platform at all?"

Indeed. If his defence is any good, he'll make a meal out of this.

P.T. Barnum said...

On a somewhat related piece of government nonsense which had passed me by til yesterday, it is now against the rules to buy two products from a pharmacy both containing codeine. This change happened three months ago. The consequences of this? As a chronic sufferer of migraines I can either buy one box of expensive branded pills to treat the initial stages and subsequent headache. Or I can choose to buy the branded product for the initial stages and then go to another pharmacy to buy a dirt cheap generic for the rest, when previously I've been able to buy both at the same time.

Oh, and it's also not permissable to buy Day Nurse and Night Nurse at the same time for your colds anymore. You may however purchase a box containing small quantities of both.

They really do think we are cretinous children who cannot be trusted with anything more dangerous than a spoon and blancmange.

JuliaM said...

A spoon?! You could have someone's eye out with a spoon!

OK, you have to wiggle it around a bit, but it's possible...

The Filthy Engineer said...

A spoon?! You could have someone's eye out with a spoon!

OK, you have to wiggle it around a bit, but it's possible...


You owe me a new keyboard. I've just spat coffee all over it!

naturalnoble said...

I'm no engineer but pissing on a live rail doesn't sound like a great idea.

Captain Haddock said...

As a committed, life-long Pipe smoker .. I'd dearly love to know precisely how "Cancer" smells ..

My response to this interfering old trollop would have been along the lines of .. "Well, do us and yourself a favour and stop breathing" ...

I agree with the comments regarding the "Third Degree" to which were all now subjected when buying products containing Codeine .. I find it amazing that a mere shop assistant, with no qualifications is permitted to grill me as to my lifestyle ..

They could in fact have been working on the bacon counter at the Co-op last week & in Dolcis next week ..

I had a run-in with one such individual in Boots recently .. she told me "I have a duty of care" .. I told her she had a duty to serve me and that if she didn't .. I'd go spend my money elsewhere ..

Anonymous said...

Handy SOLUTION for hand wafters,
head shakers and forced coughers

1 overipe duck egg
1 tablespoon bleach
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 airtight jar
1 kiddies water pistol

Mix ingredients well and leave in
sealed jar for 1 week
Pour carefully(nose clamp reccomended) into pistol
Proceed to bar popular with hand
wafting fraternity/
Discretely squit liberal application of duck essence onto
rear of wafters attire.

Retire to distant corner , wait
for a minute or two and enjoy.
Try to avoid going red in the face
to avoid disclosure.

The Laughing Cavalier

Leg-iron said...

Frank - I stand corrected. Duly adjusted in the text for accuracy.

Leg-iron said...

John P - 'souls to save'? More like souls to collect!

JuliaM - Teaspoon or dessert spoon? If it's Ed Balls you could do it with a ladle.

Leg-iron said...

I've heard people complain that they can't buy more than one pack of paracetamol at a time. Yet it's fine if they go through the tills with one pack, then five minutes later go through the same till with another pack.

Never touch the things myself. Whisky cures everything.

Well, okay, it doesn't really cure anything. You'll still be ill. You just won't mind so much.

Leg-iron said...

Laughing cavalier - I know where I can get some duck eggs...

PT Barnum said...

One is permitted to purchase 32 paracetamol in one go from anywhere, including pharmacies. I find this risible, given that a dozen of the things are sufficient to lead to a slow lingering suicide on life support (with someone like me beside you saying I told you so).

I've been watching this stealthy shifting of the boundaries of what you can buy pharmaceutical-wise, with unannounced changes steadily driving down our freedom to choose. While alcohol may be a prime target for control and restriction, there are other quieter fronts in this war on coercion for our own good.

Meanwhile in the U.S. they will sell you tubs of 500 paracetamol with no limit on how many tubs you may have in one go. Go figure.

Leg-iron said...

The US might find changes are on the way. Once the State controls their health, it's only a matter of time before they decide to 'improve' it.

John Pickworth said...

I *think* I heard that the US mandates that an antidote is added to their version of paracetamol? Hence they are safer.

Seem to recall some consternation over here because we refused to take the same approach but instead limited purchases.

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