Friday 15 October 2010

Raccoon City News.

Over at the Grumpy Old Twat's jolly place of merriment and revelry (He's only Santa for one day a year, kids. This is what he does the rest of the time), Anna Raccoon sets out her reasons for leaving.

I have not experienced such threats, because there is nothing to threaten me with. I have no employer, my family know who I am. They are mixed Italian/Welsh and if you criticise any one of us to another's face, even the one who has spent some time in prison and who is Not Mentioned, you'll be lucky to leave with your own face intact. If you want to try the 'paedo' tag well, I do not, have never, and will never work with children in any capacity whatsoever, which will make a libel case a walk in the park. I have only ever taught at college and university level and only at HND to PhD level. I have always heeded the helpful advice printed on plastic bags - keep away from children. They are too fast, too unpredictable, too loud and they have dreadful table manners. I could never understand the paedo mind because to me, it's like finding something erotic in hyenas.

Therefore I cannot appreciate the pain Anna Raccoon describes because I am not capable of experiencing it. However, I can understand the reasons she gives for quitting.

Besides, there is no point hunting me down. I will be outed by my own hand in April 2011. It cannot now be avoided.

April 2011 is when my first novel is slated for release (as long as I don't bugger up the deadlines). It will appear under the imprint 'Damnation Press' which I am delighted about. I couldn't have chosen a better name. At that point, I can no longer hide behind this mask because if I do I will be cutting off my nose to spite my face. I can't promote a book without telling anyone whose name is on it.

There is a second one ready to go as soon as this one is done, and a third already first-drafted. The 'Ghosthunters' is not yet complete because it's a dystopia and real life keeps getting ahead of it.

In April I out myself. If anyone wants to go to all the trouble of doing it sooner, knock yourself out. It will, ultimately, be a waste of time.

Oh, and if you have a copy of that Lulu book you have my name anyway.

Well... one of them.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You must be getting excited LI. I would be over the moon.
Do the next book on the rise of smokeydrinkys and the death of society in the UK bought on by the scum in power.

Leg-iron said...

That's what Ghosthunters is about.

The 'ghosts' are those who don't have implanted ID chips. They carry 'corpse chips' to evade the cameras... but let's not give away the plot.

Joe said...

Leg-iron: Good luck with the writing, if the books are anything like the blog writing then I'd be happy to shell out a few shekels on 'em

kynon said...

I'm looking forward to this book coming out, y'know.

It strikes me as rather sad taht some people feel the need to "out" people for having & expressing different opinions to their own. At the same time, we should all be taking responsibility for those words and actions - if that means taking some flak for it, then so be it. (Please note that this is not meant as a criticism of Anna for packing in - from the sound of it, what she's going through is way above & beyond "flak"!)

Captain Ranty said...

OT but Radio Free Britain will be gone in a few hours.

For them, the jaw jaw is over....

CR.

Woman on a Raft said...

Don't forget that it is VITALLY important to tour the whiskey distilleries in order to research authentic details for your forth-coming block-buster in which a big-fronted young lady and an unassuming microbiologist save the world from something or other.

Certain products may be mentioned by name, so you had better be sure to know what you are talking about. The lawyers command it.

Dioclese said...

You could use a pen name. Many people do.
They tell me that Enid Blyton was really a bloke called Ivor Bigbottie...

Peter S. said...

Good for you. I read you every morning and I'll certainly buy your book - looking forward to it.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Good luck with the book. I'm insanely jealous. As for Anna, it's sad that she's decided to quit, she will be missed, but I think we all understand her reasons. Those that persecute her must be sad people, if that's all they've got to do in life. You'd think they'd channel all that energy and actually do something useful.

Mr A said...

Congrats on the novel, Leggy!

Old Holborn said...

I knew you when you were a nobody, you hear?

Anonymous said...

How is it that some bloggers get "got at" so badly, whereas others don't? Am I the only one who thinks that there might be more to this than just a few sickos out there who don't like the views expressed? If that was the case they'd be haranguing all like-minded bloggers, but they don't. Am I also the only one who thinks that maybe the fact is that there may be a common element in the "got at" bloggers' articles which concerns the powers-that-be sufficently to stir their "dirty workers" into action?

Leg-iron said...

OH - I'm still nobody. I like it that way.

Anon - they seem to go for female bloggers mostly. They seem to think women are more easily intimidated and if shadowy figures start showing up at your house, I can see why that might be.

Here, a shadowy figure would find the door unlocked and on entering... me behind it with a poker.

Gendeau said...

"Ghosthunters" sounds cool BUT please knock out a few comedy books too.

Fag smoke as an asteroid targetting beacon. Hyenas as sex objects.

Your genius is clear.

As a recent kindle buyer (BEST gadget in years, I'm working in overseas and was getting pissed off paying for postage and waiting a week for delivery) PLEASE have an e-version of your books.

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