Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Joking? Not on the premises.

'The macaroni, she was thees-a beeg.'
(Picture pastafarianised from here)

Berlusconi is 74 years old and has been photographed with young models and call girls. We are instructed to be disgusted but being of Italian ancestry, I can only hope that when I get to 74, it happens to me too. It hasn't happened yet. Oh, it would kill me if it happened now, but what a way to go. It would take three days to get the coffin lid down and they might end up having to drill a hole.

He told a joke. The Righteous don't like jokes. They have demanded an apology. In true raging Italian style, he has responded with 'You don'-a like it, you stick-a it up ya hole an'-a see if you like it up-a there.' Then he pulled his thumb off his teeth at them. That's my favourite, it drives everyone mad. I think it's genetic, like the driving.

The joke was actually quite a good one if you aren't blinded by Righteous perma-indignation.

"A Jew hides a fellow Jew in his basement at the time of the concentration camps and charges him 3,000 euro (£2600) a day".

"The Jew paid up because he had the money but do you think he should tell him that Hitler has died and the war is over?"

The Vatican is upset. The Vatican? The same religion that was happy to see Hitler march the Jews off to the camps? The religion currently headed by an ex-Hitler Youth? You'd think they'd keep quiet especially since their record on Semitic relations includes the Spanish Inquisition and much, much more. They have done things in the past that make Hitler look like an amateur.

Oh, but now it's different, under Fuhrer Ratsinker. Now they appease all religions other than Christianity because their target audience and funding source is made up of drones who won't see beyond their personal prejudice against other Christians. Let's all chant the Vatican chant - Eeee-asy. Mooo-ney!"

Berlusconi is expected to apologise. I am 50 and refuse to apologise. Long before I get to 74 that will degrade into 'nyaa'. I really hope Berlusconi holds to his word. It's time for people to stand up to the silliness.

In other news, magical midget Paul Daniels who met me once in Soho but isn't likely to remember, made an off-the-cuff quip that was spontaneous, original and topical and actually funny. News in itself, but there's more.

He made a joke about 'sausage-tasting' and the butt of his joke was gay. He was also the latest King of Sizzle for Sausage Week, which is where the joke was aimed. The Professionally Offended won't see that even though Daniels and his jocular pal have both made it clear. No, any mention of sausages is, in their deeply perverse minds, akin to willy-slavering activities. No matter what those who were actually involved say, Daniels is a thought criminal.

I liked sausages. Now I'll have to think twice about buying them. Thanks for that, professionally offended. In future I'll have to stick to Lorne sausage and pre-sliced black pudding.

In both cases, it was just a joke. A joke. Not racism or bigotry which are very nasty things, but a joke. Not meant to be derogatory or cruel, just a bit of fun.

Under Hideous Harman's 'equality' laws, about to be enacted by the Cleggeron Coagulation, jokes are illegal.

Fun is not allowed. Mini-Magician Paul would be arrested and charged. If you make a smartass comment in the pub, you will be prosecuted and so will the pub. Best if you go outside to talk, with the smokers and soon, the drinkers.

No smoking.

No drinking

No talking.

Social life in the UK, courtesy of any flavour of government you want.

Enjoy. But quietly.


banned said...

Good for Berlicsoni, yes the joke was funnny.
I've never watched Strictly and have paid little notice to this "story"; I went to your link just to see whether Craig Revel Horwood himself felt offended.
Imagine my surprise to find that not only was he not but that he himself offered up the "National Sausage Week" interpretation.

The people who man/woman these call-lines really must get a grip and tell the professional third party offendees where to get off.

I don't often do this but W/V nayers honest!

subrosa said...

Oh no! Not lorne sausage just cause it's square!

With death you dice
With every slice
Think of the fat
Your arteries too
Have bacon -
Stops you turning blue

View from the Solent said...

As a non-practising Yid (I did support Spurs though, before No Pressure) I give that joke 2 out of 10, plus an extra mark for longevity.
Seems like he has few Jewish friends, or they would have told him some really funny ones.

JuliaM said...

"The Vatican is upset. The Vatican? The same religion that was happy to see Hitler march the Jews off to the camps? The religion currently headed by an ex-Hitler Youth?"

Yup, much more of these sort of news stories and I'm going to have to get a sling to support my bottom jaw...

Fascist Hippy said...

Best you get that chin strap now Julia, there are a lot more left in the lucky dip of the lunatics, a new one comes out of the 'bran tub' every day.

Leg-iron said...

There was a website called something like 'Old Jews Telling Jokes', but I can't find it now. Some of the jokes were real trouser-dampeners.

Makes you think. Islamists build websites full of hate and threats of death. Jews build websites full of jokes.

Hmm... who would I prefer to have running the world, if it came to it...

Oh, that's right. Me.

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