Sunday, 24 October 2010

The Two Faces of the Clegg

Tipped by Foreign Entity in the comments here.

Remember Nicky the Clegg and his 'we are listening but not to smokers' website? Remember his 'we are not going to repeal the smoking ban any more than we'll bring back hanging' wordplay?

The smug child is on Desert Island Discs. Look at the last line of this.

Oh, he struggles with his conscience over cuts but when it comes to making smokers into something so evil even Satan winces, he sleeps like a brainless politician.

Clegg chooses tracks by David Bowie, Shakira and Prince, and selects "a stash of cigarettes" as his one permitted desert island luxury.

The two-faced, spite-driven, vicious and evil bastard. It's at times like this I wish I wrote like Obo. I can't use the words to describe this man because they haven't been invented yet. Not even the most base Anglo-Saxon swearing can cover it. Maybe Italian but you'd need the hand gestures too.

Put him on a desert island and give him these discs. Oh, and don't forget to dip his cigarettes in the sea before delivery.

Bastard. There is no possible excuse.

And I thought I wrote about evil people. I have much to learn.


Paul said...

Memo to me: never ever vote Liberal Democrat. Ever.

Ashtrayhead said...

This song would be more appropriate for him:-

JuliaM said...

"The two-faced, spite-driven, vicious and evil bastard."

In other words, typical politician?

Mark Wadsworth said...

It's strange isn't it? Both he and Cameron smoke (but not on camera, of course). As does Barry Obama, although what that's got to do with anything i don't know.

Trooper Thompson said...

I find it helps to make copious references to such politicians' propensity to coprophagia.

Frank Davis said...

Oh, I don't know. I've just listened to it. He likes his cigarettes. And that's a good thing. Shame that he can't allow people to enjoy theirs too as they have been accustomed all their lives.

david said...

Did he ask for any matches?

Frank Davis said...

No, he didn't. But Kirsty Young thoughtfully provided some.

Jim Baxter said...

High quality vituperative requires a lot of nervous energy and tends to leaves its source depleted. Sometimes that's a price you have to pay but it can sometimes be best to keep it fairly mild. 'Wanker' is a good word for Clegg. He's not the first wanker to wield major influence but his influence does not magnify his character, which is very minor.

He's depleting himself, soiling himself, all the time. It's hardly necessary to abuse a man who is so dedicated to self-abuse.

Anonymous said...

If not already they will be soon as dispied as Brown and his Liebour party. Their new name the ConDemns party.

Anonymous said...


You find it hard to describe Clegg without swearing.

This might help.....

" Son of s Sheep-shagging Siberian brothel owners camel"

Anonymous said...

where is the ' It is illegal to smoke on these premises' sign on the front of No.10 ?

Leg-iron said...

That man is the very definition of 'twat'. He is the type strain. He's on page one of the twat catalogue. He is the editor of Twat Monthly and cannot be replaced by anyone, because the universe cannot contain a bigger twat. He is Twat to the Max, the first entry in 'Who's Twatty?' and every entry in the Big Book of Twats.

He is - brace yourself, Godwin - he is the Jew how fired up the ovens.

Jim Baxter - this source is inexhaustible.

Leg-iron said...


The Jew who fired up the ovens.

Well, that wrecked that particular rant, didn't it?

Frank Davis said...

Yup. ;-)

Frank Davis said...

Arnott has been laying into Clegg. So he can't be all bad, eh?

Anonymous said...

Poor old Arnott, maybe we should have a whip round and send her 20 Silk Cut and a book of matches?

Leg-iron said...

Frank - the fact that he smokes makes it worse for me. He's still banning the rest of us. To me, he's a Jewish gas chamber operator.

I have a Lib Dem MP now. Malcolm Bruce. He voted against relaxing the ban.

It is my mission in life to ensure this is not a Lib Dem constituency by the next election.
Can I do it?

No idea but I'm bloody well going to try.

As for Oily Al, the MSP, I am his sworn enemy too. He's first up.

banned said...

Anon "where is the ' It is illegal to smoke on these premises' sign on the front of No.10 ?"
Very good point, No.10 is a working premises and so should display that sign, they are breaking the law.

Of course Nick can smoke at work since the Houses of Parliament are exempt, the bars at least.
As for desert Island Disks I suppose Nick would claim not to be enclosed and that there was nobody around to suffer the effects of secondary smoking, until Man Friday turns up (oops, sorry, was that racist?.)

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