Chingle all ze vay.

Apparently old Adolf was fond of a bit of Christmas cheer and had huge parties every year. Imagine the invitations:

You vill attend mein party und you vill enjoy it. If you do not, you vill enjoy ze Eastern front in ze New Year.

You vill respond.

Adolf.

If proof were still needed that here was a man madder than a bag of badgers, this is how he reconciled his hatred of religion with his desire to still have an annual knees-up.

Hitler believed religion had no place in his 1,000-year Reich, so he replaced the Christian figure of Saint Nicholas with the Norse god Odin and urged Germans to celebrate the season as a holiday of the ‘winter solstice’, rather than Christmas.

So in order to remove all trace of religion from Christmas, he extracted the one religion it actually belongs to and replaced it with two religions - one of which predated Christianity, the other of which was not related to Christmas at all. Righteous backfiring, unintended consequence and general stupidity is not a new phenomenon.

This diminutive dictator believed the future belonged to the Aryan race: tall, athletic and blonde. He was short, dark-haired and weedy. How much of a cretin do you have to be in order to work like a demon for a future which specifically excludes you or your family? He denied any Christian connection with Christmas while gassing Jehovah's Witnesses who also deny any Christian connection with Christmas. Agreeing with him was no guarantee of safety.

Banning Christmas. Banning smoking. The invention of second hand smoke. A draconian Green agenda. A hatred of Christianity while accepting any other religion, especially (in his case) the one that included runes and getting up early to watch the sun rise while sacrificing a virgin and being generally unpleasant to all and sundry.

That was Hitler's thousand year reich. I thought we had defeated it.

Still, he hasn't won. Even back then he had to cope with dissent among the drones.

But while many Germans baked biscuits and cakes in the shape of swastikas and adorned their trees with the symbols of the Nazi regime, most still called the festival Christmas.

You can insist on Winterval or Winter Lights or any of the rest of it. Most still call it Christmas even now and that is not going to change. Hitler's followers are still here, of course they are. They were there before Hitler was born. The snide and the spiteful have always existed and always believed themselves Righteous. They now follow doctrines we attribute to Hitler while insisting Churchill was really a prototype for Bernard Manning, but the underlying philosophy has never changed.

Hitler was nuts. All those who worship him will be offended but then I am an equal opportunities offensive little git. This man was a strawman. He wasn't what he's painted. Just a weedy idiot with a big ego and a little moustache and a few stupid ideas.

Left to himself, he would have ended up as one of those rag-clad gibbering drunks shouting 'I vos once ein Contender. I could have been zomebody'. The Righteous found him and thought 'Great. He's completely crazy and gullible enough to control'. That's the thing about big egos. They really are easy to control. Something I have used to great effect in more than one admin department. Push the right buttons and your paperwork gets to the top of the pile every time.

The Hand of the Righteous is clear in little Adolf's insistence on the Aryan race, for one thing. He employed Limpy Goebbels and Fat Boy Goering and yet his ideal was exactly the opposite. He wanted perfect health for ze entire Vorld, a shout that still echoes down the ages and is still shouted by hideously deformed gnomes and blimps with legs. He envisaged a world in which he, and most of his staff, should be the first into the euthanasia cabinets even though he sent fitter and healthier people into those chambers while employing those with body shapes he despised.

He demanded a Green future and ecological Utopia while building the biggest engines and guns the world had ever seen. His regime invented rocket-powered planes and bombs for the good of the planet. He built guns that could only be used if mounted on rails. To him, as to those who still follow the Righteous path, lifestyle restrictions apply to others. Do as I say, not as I do, is the oldest instruction in the world.

One of the best unintended consequences was when he decided Einstein was gas-chamber fodder, which meant Einstein (being pretty clever and seeing this coming) buggered off quick and gave his ideas to someone else. If Adolf hadn't been such an utter twat, he could have had that nuclear bomb first. It's pretty much standard for Righteous plans though. They always manage to balls it up.

What the Righteous have never learned is that the lunatics they take on as front-men for their agenda are impossible to control. Hitler soon believed in his own imagined invulnerability and the latest Righteous pets are starting to believe the same thing. History repeats itself to the degree that future history students will be given a 20-page book and told to read it fifty times. It's just the same thing over and over.

Hitler had no redeeming features. There was nothing to like about him at all. He was a deranged dwarf with an ego that could account for most of the dark matter mass of the universe. A self-important, arrogant, opinionated little git with almost as much humanity as gravel.

He wasn't running the show. That does not excuse him, he fronted it and agreed with it but he wasn't running it. Just as our current leaders aren't running the show either. Hitler didn't win but those who kept him as a pet are still here and still striving for a world of spite and malice.

They always have been and always will be. These people want to control everything by central diktat and form a world of clones who will behave as directed.

Fortunately, they are not very bright. They always, always, balls up everything they try to do.

So don't get too worried. Sometimes they gain ascendancy but they fall apart every time.

It's all falling apart now. Get some popcorn in. And ridicule them, it hurts them more than anything else. All of them.

Anyone going carol-singing? Have a few starters -

_____


Good king Monbiot looked out
At the Global Warming
As the snow lay all about
He declared a warning

"This is all anomalous
Frost is an illusion
Fire is just no good for us
Wait till we have fu-u-sion".

-----

Away with the windmills
No wind for to turn
Heat prices increasing
Old grandad we burn.

-----

Deck the halls with blood and bodies,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Time to show Islamic folly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now exploding undies,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Book a flight with Aero Fundies,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.


-----

Light up merrily on high,
In heav'n the ashtray's filling:
Light up, blow smoke to the sky
And watch the antis falling.
De--hehehehe, De--hehehehe, De-hehehehe De--borah,
Arnott is apoplectic!

------


God rest miserable BMJ
Let nothing you cheer up
The smokers, we are all still here
You really have screwed up
You tried to exercise your power
We just bought more ashtrays
O we all met Man with a Van,
Man with a Van,
O we all met Man with a Van

-----

Hark the drunken bastards sing
"Huey" to the porcelain ring!
Pee in bushes, almost blind
Topple over, they don't mind.
Harmless, goggle-eyed, they smile
While Shenker develops piles
Then to government proclaims:
"Deal with them, they have no shame"
Hark the drunken bastards sing
"Huey" to the porcelain ring!

-------

O Come All Ye Porn Stars


... I'll get me coat...