That would be an ecumenical matter.

Someone called Mr. Pope apparently visited Scotland today and is heading down south, presumably because it's too cold here for Poperobics or whatever new exercise video he's promoting. Since he's German that should perhaps be Herr Pope, although he lives in Italy so maybe Il Popio? I'm not going to meet him so it doesn't matter if I can't find the correct form of address.

It seems he won't be meeting a lot of other people either. Obo thinks it's because he hasn't been on Celebrity Witch-burning yet, and hasn't been photographed in an undignified up-cassock way while getting into a taxi after a heavy session with the communion wine, followed by a conversation with God on the great white telephone. Obo probably has that right, I think. Il Popio has not worked out what he needs to do to be considered a celebrity in this country. Which is pretty much nothing other than be a git in public.

There have been many mutterings about Il Popio which I have ignored because I don't care. Oh, sure, I'm slightly miffed at having to contribute via taxes to his Inquisition Roadshow but there are so many more expensive things those taxes have been wasted on, and at least he's not using them to train children to mug me in the street. In fact, his very presence might well clear the streets of children. Nor is he using the money to set up a border agency that ignores terrorists and illegal immigrants but persecutes smokers. He's not even setting up a Holy Quango. Just chillin' with his brethren on the taxpayer's dime. We already have millions of those anyway, one more won't hurt. Besides, he's not staying.

I don't see why we're paying at all. From what I can gather, the man has more money than the UK so we should be charging him an entry fee.

One of his popelets said that arriving in some parts of the UK was like visiting a third world country and everyone went 'Oh, I am shocked!'. Can't imagine why. We've all been saying that for years. In fact, third world countries mostly have better weather so we could argue that parts of the UK are worse.

Then Il Popio himself said something equating atheists to Nazis. Atheists can consider themselves lucky. Smokers are now equated to the 9/11 terrorists and we haven't even put an advert on a bus. I mean, at least the Nazis made the trains run on time. They also had smart uniforms with skull badges on the caps, so they were under no illusions about being the good guys. We smokers are lumped in with a group that has no redeeming qualities at all but who think killing thousands of innocent people makes them the good guys. Don't get so shirty about the Nazi jibe, atheists. The ones you've been associated with weren't entirely and uniformly insane.

Some are going to protest, but really I can't be bothered. He's just an old man with a penchant for dressing up like a chess piece and telling people how to live their lives. Apart from the amusing costume, he's no different to any of those who imagine themselves powerful. We should be accustomed to such people by now. There are thousands of them all over the country.

I ignore all their instructions. I'll ignore Il Popio's too.

And now, if you'll excuse me for a moment, I have some wine waiting to be turned into water.