Midgebusters.

Fishing is not looking good for the weekend, with high winds and lashing rain on the way. I'll take extra whisky just in case.

If it does turn out fine, one of my co-drinkyfishers (a nonsmoker) moaned that there might be midges. If it is warm and still, then next to the water they are inevitable.

Not too many years ago, on those warm summer evenings we used to have before global warming caused the new ice age, I was often asked to light up by nonsmokers. The reason? Midges. Smoke keeps them away.

They have forgotten. The level of doublethink here is astounding, they have genuinely totally forgotten something they knew for a fact, and personally experienced, less than a decade ago.

Unfortunately I am forced by ASH to make sure that no second hand smoke impinges on their evenings. I won't risk giving the midges cancer. I'll sit a respectable distance away, downwind and midgeless, to smoke.

They have to remember on their own. No clues. No hints.

Perhaps those bites will stir a thought or two. If not, well, they'll spend more on bite cream than I will on tobacco.

I hope it's still and warm. It could be a fun weekend for the smokers among us.