Sunday, 19 September 2010

Brag time.

Interesting times indeed.

I have just had a novel accepted for publication - the first one - so you will excuse me if I seem a little less than sober. Tomorrow I will work out what all the forms mean. It has to be tomorrow because next week is Serious Sample Week and one novel won't wipe out the day job. When my demons are childrens' toys and lunchboxes, maybe I can realise my dream of buying a big house far from people and selling this one to radical extremists for one pound.

It's hard going, this writing lark. It took three attempts to find a publisher for this book. Maybe the next one will be quicker.

I like to smoke and drink while writing. It's relaxing and inspirational. Shapes in the smoke are enhanced by the alcohol haze to give a corneal reality that has no bearing on the real horrors of modern life. Take any situation, give it a little twist, and you can scare the shit out of just about anyone. None of this 'writer in remote house' bollocks for me. No attics or basements either. I'm in your kitchen and your bathroom, I'm in your shiny Ikea wardrobe and your lovely new Prius. No matter how post-modern your lifestyle, I'm behind your sofa and under your bed. My tales are not in the remote countryside, they are in the middle of the city and in the little shop down the road. In the wine bar and in the pound shop. In everything you touch and see and hear, in your coffee and in your beer.

They'd be in the pub if there were likely to be any of those in the future.

By strict interpretation of the law, now that I am to be a proper published author (short stories are not an income generator unless you can do at least one a day), this tatty old Dell is now my place of work and it will be illegal to smoke here.

But if I can't smoke here, I'll never write again.

Therefore I will need WiFi and a laptop in the greenhouse. No problem is insurmountable.

Greenhouse... hmmm.

24 comments:

Amusing Bunni said...

Leg Iron, this is great news! Let me be the lst to congratulate you, since I'm up at such an unGodly hour out here (for me) and now it's "talk like a pirate day" too!
Arrrrrrghhhhhh! Good Work, Matey

JuliaM said...

"I have just had a novel accepted for publication..."

/cheer

PT Barnum said...

A contract for a first novel by someone who isn't a seleb is a rare and exotic creature. Can't wait to read it. The short stories are nice, but a lovely big novel? Hmmm!

The Underdoug said...

In my Prius?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..................(!)

It's 5 years old btw.

Many congrats on the book pub deal.

Anonymous said...

A Huge Congratulations :)

Be sure to let us all know when its out in print. I want a first edition!

Jayce Kay said...

In these bleak times its nice to occasionally read about a well deserved success.

Congratulations.

View from the Solent said...

Excellent news. Well done. I look forward to your shameless plug close to publication date, enabling me to place my order.
Is it too much to hope that the author will be Leg-iron, rather than some anodyne nom-de-plume?

Fausty said...

May your words reach many eyes, Leg-Iron, and may it enrich you. You deserve it.

Well done. :)

Chris said...

Congrats Leggy. Looking forward to reading it.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Well done LegIron!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Me hearties!

wv: surphyl - sodium lauroyl sarcosinate!

Freewoman of England said...

Well done However you need to sell millions to actually make any real money...

A friend wrote a book but is still struggling to make ends meet..

Pat Nurse said...

Congratulations! Let us know when it's out. I want a signed copy. Good luck with the next :)

Loki said...

Congrats.

Lawson Narse said...

Wow! I'm well impressed. congrats LI, it's well deserved.

Old Holborn said...

Excellent news

Monty Cristo said...

Bollocks, as I read your blog every day I now feel honour bound to buy it. Make sure it's on Amazon as I get free delivery.

Giolla said...

Excellent stuff

IanPJ said...

LegIron, excellent excellent news. Well done and congratulations.

I hope this is the first of many, and a new life and source of income for you and yours

kynon said...

Good news on the book deal sir - well done!

Leg-iron said...

Thanks to all.

I doubt anyone actually gets rich from the books. It's when Hollywood gets interested, that's what makes money for the likes of Stephen King and JK Rowling.

Oh, and the Bible Belt burning hundreds of copies of Harry Potter helped a bit too.

First though, I have to work through all these forms, including the IRS one that doesn't apply to me. Not sure what to put on that other than 'No'.

subrosa said...

I'll only buy it if it's a signed first edition. And don't you be thinking I'll zoom up the A90 to collect it. I'll meet you at Laurencekirk station. Is it open yet?

Gaun yersel'!

subrosa said...

Now here's an idea. How about a book signing? Easily organised I'm sure. I'd come to that. Need to visit the Apple store anyway. :)

Angry Exile said...

Congratulations, LI. Liked the short stories you've put up here so I'm looking forward to a post saying it's out.

smokervoter said...

Banned in San Fran:

San Fran ? Oh no, yet another unlettered and improper contraction for the sophisticated city by the bay, where professor Glantz holds court.

'Banned in San Fran'. I can see it now as reader bait for your forthcoming book. "Don't miss the first novel written by the salacious, seditious, chain-smoking 'Bard from Aberdeen' whose prose shocked even unshockable San Francisco..."

Dittoed kudos on your publishing deal.

BTW: Is Leg Iron an incorrect rendition of Leg-iron?

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