Eccentrics, these days, are regarded with suspicion because they don't do the same things everyone else does. Conformity is the name of the game now. If you don't go to work nine-to-five, mow your lawn on Saturday and wash the car on Sunday then you risk being reported to the police. And investigated for the new crime of 'being a bit odd'.
A policeman (off duty) actually explained to me that if I had a folding corkscrew in my pocket, it could be regarded as an offensive weapon because I would have no just cause for having such an item about my person. Well, I drink a lot. A corkscrew is an essential requirement of my hobby.
I remember when we didn't need to provide a reason why we had something in our pockets unless we were actually committing a crime using that object. Now, having a beetle in a matchbox or a bit of string (and come on, who doesn't have one or two of those on them?) is grounds for arrest. Conform or be re-educated. Free the Matchbox One. The future isn't orange. It's grey.
That's why I laughed like Tony Blair's accountant when I saw this.
Yes, he's crackers. Yes, it must be difficult being next door to the man who is single-handedly trying to recreate the Amazon but the picture just made me hoot. It just needs one refinement.
Get one of those lifting platforms and cut that foliage into a cube. Vertical sides and flat on top. A huge green cube outside the house would be hilarious.
We need more eccentric madmen, not less.
As for me, I have a huge bag of crocus bulbs. I will be planting these in the lawn, in a circle with a five-pointed star inside. The circle part is easy, the star will be a little more difficult but not much.
Someone is going to be horrified next spring.
Well, I don't have room for all those trees.