The Smoking Terrorist.

Those Righteous who support the rights of Islamists to blow you to bits because they're a bit miffed about a cartoon are the same ones who tell you about second hand smoke and its ludicrous derivatives. The very same.

You antismokers don't believe it, do you? Of course you don't. In your mind there is no connection. In your mind the two things could never be combined.

Here's a quote from Dick Puddlecote:

To finger-waggers the world over, 9/11 wasn't so much an unspeakable act of evil, more a handy occurrence on which to exercise their mentally disturbed fantasies.

He is entirely correct. We are up against people far worse than anything radical Islam can throw at us. We are dealing with a mindset that cares nothing for your sensibilities while claiming to protect you from 'being offended'. As long as you are offended about the approved things. If you are offended because your favourite pub, club or cafe has closed, well you are just being narrow minded. If you are outraged at the possible throwing of a plastic bottle in the general direction of an Ethnic, you are Approved and can carry on being outraged.

If you are offended at the intrusive and irrelevant questions thrown at you by a State official, then you are not approved. You are, instead, a suspected terrorist. As Pat Nurse found in conversation with a member of what used to be the medical profession, but which is now concerned only with propaganda and shamanic ritual.

I don’t visit doctors any more because there’s no point. They will ask me if I smoke. If I say yes, anything that’s wrong with me will be caused by smoking. No other cause will be considered. If I say no, then a whole raft of illnesses become impossible. I couldn’t possibly have heart problems or cancer or emphysema because those are now the sole preserve of smoking.

If you don’t smoke and you have one of these ‘smoking-related’ illnesses, then you’re going to die. Your shaman won’t even test for them. He’ll have spent the money for those tests on that smoker who came in with ringworm.

Smokers are terrorists now, and the Righteous love terrorists. As long as the feeble-minded are scared of something, then the Righteous can protect them from that thing and control them in the process. Nobody has ever died of second hand smoke, but many are going to die from second hand antismoking.

Smokers contribute far more in extra tax than they will ever cost the NHS. I know, some of the more rabid antismokers simply stick their fingers in their ears and go ‘La la la’ at that but rest assured, antismokers, your controllers are all too aware of the fact. Oh, they regale you with claims of dead babies and rotting flesh but the reality is that they really don’t want us to stop smoking.

Why do you think tobacco is not banned? Why do you think they expend so much effort to prevent ‘smuggling’ of something that is legal to bring in to the country and is legally on sale here? Surely it shouldn’t matter where we obtain the evil weed, if it’s really so bad for us? We’ll just die faster and you antismokers will cheer.

ASH won’t cheer. Dead smokers don’t pay taxes. Dead smokers can’t be harassed. Dead smokers don’t keep the Dreadful Arnott in her well-paid job as controller of the antismoker horde. Oh no, ASH really don’t want us gone.

Antismokers are expendable to ASH and their ilk. They can easily get some more trained up. Smokers are what generate their income. ASH depend on us for their very existence. Oh, they started out as a moral crusade, they started with the intention of stopping smoking but no longer. They are now a business, linked to the Pharmers with their patches and gum. All of them depend on smokers, and they depend on new smokers joining our ranks. If we all stopped, ASH and their Pharmers would see their income plummet. That’s why they keep smoking in the news, all day and every day. It’s not because they hate it. It’s because they depend on it.

The Antismoker Legion is not there to stop smoking, even though they think they are. Their job is to continually draw attention to smoking. To make it seem rebellious and cool so the young will take it up as an act of defiance.

The NHS gets a lot of money from tobacco taxes so they don’t want us gone either. Their local managers can harass us to their heart’s content but at the top, there will never be calls for tobacco to be banned. The NHS has a considerable vested interest in keeping smokers alive. Nonsmokers don’t provide as much cash so keeping them alive isn’t important.

As for your local councils, those who enforce the smoking bans even in places where it’s not banned, well surely they wouldn’t have pensions that depend on the well-being of tobacco companies? (tipped by Olly in comments)

So, if we smokers all stopped, ASH would be completely unemployed, all those antismoking council Stasi would be on the dole, the Ciggie Busters would have to learn something instead of being Righteous-approved muggers, the NHS would find itself suddenly very short of cash and the entire pharmaceutical profits from overpriced patches and gum would drop to zero. All of that will happen anyway as smokers quit or die and no youngsters take up the taxpaying mantle.

So when you rail against us, when you whine about the smell, when you point at us and scream, Bodysnatcher style, remember this.

In a large part of the economy, smokers are the base of the food chain. You might think there are moves to make us stop but look again. All those actions are designed to make us dig our heels in. They are designed not to stop children smoking, but to make it appear rebellious and cool. The entire antismoking movement is terrified of Electrofag because it has the potential to put the whole lot out of business. It is harmless but they want it banned. They don’t want tobacco banned but they want to stop us getting it without paying UK duty – which the EU allows. Give it some thought.

The antismokers have a part to play in this too. Your job, antismokers, is to keep the smoking gospel alive. Your job is to ensure we dig in harder. Your job is to make the rebellious young look at smoking as a way to enrage you, so they will take it up. Your job is to make sure we don’t all quit and to keep us from switching to Electrofag.

Your job, antismokers, is to keep the Dreadful Arnott employed. You think you’re controlling us? Look up and see your own strings. You are the controlled ones here. You are not the farmer, nor even the sheepdog. You are the sheep. You do as you are told. We do not. So who is controlled?

That’s why I laugh at your depiction of smokers as equivalent to the Islamic plane-crashers. That’s why I scoff at your comparison of us to terrorists.

We are now, thanks to the antismokers’ war on us, much more powerful than any terrorist group. They might bomb a building but we have the ability to entirely crash the economy. All we need do is realise it. Forget conscience, forget compromise. Those who attack us don't know the meaning of those words. Realise, smokers, that your enemy wants to torment you forever and will keep you alive so they can torment you some more. Realise that as long as these edifices remain in place, it will never stop.

Realise that you are paying to keep them in place and that without your contribution, the whole lot will fall apart.

And then stop paying UK duty.

Well, they have called us terrorists. So let's play their game.