Tuesday, 28 June 2011

I feel liike drinking tonight, like drinking tonight.



And I have been. It's royalty payment time, my first ever experience of this. Okay, it's peanuts, barely beer money, because it's a first-quarter payment for an unknown author's first book, no surprise, but it is still the first royalty payment I've ever had so that calls for some kind of celebration involving whisky.


Hence, no sense can be expected from me at all. Maybe a little, but no promises.


Apparently mosquitos are attracted to boozers. Well we've known that for a long time. You know, there was a time not so long ago where nonsmokers sought the company of smokers outside the pub in the evenings. We kept the bloodsuckers at bay. They not only tolerated us, they encouraged us in those days. Times have changed really fast.

Now, the antismokers are free to go elsewhere. Over there with the insects. Have fun with your new friends, smokophobes.

We'll just keep puffing away with our pest-repellent smoke. Don't mind us.

It works on more irritating insects every day.

And now... booze.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congrats and enjoy. I once got a tiny cheque from the tax man and drank it immediately.

TheFatBigot said...

Each of the last two years I suffered mosquito bites that caused a leg to swell to disgusting, and very red, proportions (one leg one year then the other than next). Yet I am a chain-smoking alcoholic.

Maybe I just got the balance between booze and ciggies wrong and need to smoke more.

JuliaM said...

"Apparently mosquitos are attracted to boozers."

News just in: lions are attracted to waterholes! ;)

Anonymous said...

Congrats :)

"Apparently mosquitos are attracted to boozers."

I always suspected that mosquitos were second-hand boozers.

Jay

Dr Dan Holdsworth said...

And so to a couple of spots of advice. Firstly, on a recent holiday in Orkney, I foolishly bought a bottle of the Scapa single malt, despite its extremely pale appearence. Luckily this was only a small bottle, for I must say that the smell and flavour of this rotgut is most disappointing; definitely one to leave for floor-cleaning duties.

Secondly, where biting insects are concerned, get nasty. Don't fart about with half-measures, buy up incense which contains natural pyrethrum and burn that; this way you're creating a miasma of neurotoxins to which insects are several thousand times more susceptible than we are. For a mosquito, biting someone to take a drink is actually quite a delicate process, requiring much complex muscle coordination and delicacy; even a slight dose of pyrethrum renders them so uncoordinated that biting is an impossibility.

View from the Solent said...

re Dr H. "even a slight dose of pyrethrum renders them so uncoordinated that biting is an impossibility. "

No more than 1 unit a day for them, then.

Anonymous said...

If you're over 65 - step away from the drinks cabinet, hands on the wall where I can see them and spread those legs pretty boy, it's your unlucky/lucky night.

Slamlander said...

Did y'all even notice that the mentioned unmentionable article is trying to build a case for a beer ban?

Go back and read it again.

English Pensioner said...

Have you seen the report from the
International Scientific Forum on Alcohol Research, based at Boston University's Medical Center, which suggests that there is a strong case for us oldies drinking more rather than less and rubbishes the recent report from the Royal College of Psychiatrists?
Well worth reading - see my blog at http://english-pensioner.blogspot.com/2011/06/its-ok-for-pensioners-to-carry-on.html

Single acts of tyranny said...

Many, many congratulations. to get published at all when you aren't some mindless "celeb" pushing trash or the latest flavour of the month is very difficult indeed so well done.

I don't imagine you need my advice on Scotch but I enjoy a small Laphroaig from time to time.

Might I enquire as to where I might buy this book?

Leg-iron said...

FB - maybe the mozzies don't like whisky either, or maybe you weren't smoking hard enough.

Perhaps you were unlucky and happened across a batch of druggie mozzies who like getting high. You can tell them by their tiny Burberry baseball caps.

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