Apparently Facebook can now recognise my face and tell other people where it is. Clue: it's stuck to the non-hairy side of my head and positioned just under my hat. In what is claimed to be an invasion of privacy, Facebook can find photos of me on its site and say 'Look, here he is!'
No it can't. My face isn't on Facebook although oddly enough, my books are. So I am using the other half of it. I'm on there, twice now, but neither of them are me and neither of them have any photos of my face. Just as well, it would crack your screens.
So if you don't want facebook to tag your face, don't put it on there. They aren't going to come round and photograph you so unless you voluntarily hand over your photo, they'll never be able to tag it. Nothing to worry about.
If you have your face on there, surely that means you want the world to see it, or at least don't mind? So it's not a privacy issue any more than is sending photos of your danglies to all and sundry on Twitter. You can't show the whole world something and then claim an invasion of privacy when they look.
Facebook's face recognition software is of no consequence. I don't even care about face recognition software in airports. I have to show so much ID to get on a plane that they already know when I'm there anyway, so the face recognition cameras are futile.
On the street... no, I don't care. They can track my inconsequential shopping habits until they are old and grey. Let them waste their time. If I ever get up to something nefarious, they won't see me. I've been homeless, I can adopt that look again (actually I have never completely escaped that look), and the homeless are invisible. Facial recognition software - a total waste of everyone's time and money.
Even more absurd is the latest idea from Nottingham's alleged academics. A camera that records what you put in your bin and relays the photos to a Facebook page where your neighbours can see what you're throwing away. I remember a day when 'academic' meant something other than 'total fucking moron with less brain than a retarded sea-squirt' but times change, I suppose. There was a time when 'expert' meant 'actually having some idea what they were talking about' too. Ah, the old days.
What kind of sad, pathetic individual has so little in their lives that they can find entertainment in watching someone else's bin fill up? Don't they have some drying paint to supervise?
I really hope this catches on. If it does, I will get hold of an old shop-window mannequin, some acrylic paints and a load of ketchup. Watch my bin fill, people! I'll save the head for last, after I've drilled out the eyes. I'm sure the local abbatoir can spare me some pig intestines too. It won't be hard to spot the sad losers among my neighbours, those who actually tune in to the Bin Channel.
It won't work. It will catch the conscientious recyclers who one day accidentally drop a plastic bottle in the bin. The rest of us will simply buy another bin and only put approved or amusing things in the camera bin, then black-bag the lot for the wheelie bin. So it is of no concern at all.
Here's what these academics have in mind. It's the same thing they all have in mind -
Academics at Newcastle University who have pioneered bin-TV say it could be used to 'change the behaviour' of people who refuse to recycle or throw away too much food and packaging.
As usual, it's all about 'changing our behaviour' as if we were their very own pet lab-rats. Hey, you know what? It really works. My behaviour has changed immeasurably since all these ridiculous measures started.
I used to be really easy-going, uninterested in politics, and had no vengeful or malicious traits at all. All of that has now changed as a direct result of the plethora of idiots all forcing their own narrow, weak and pathetic world-views on me.
Well done, academics. Hey, don't worry, the occasional rage-fuelled citizen is of no concern, right?
Next pointless project, please?
Actually I don't even mind paying for these people from my taxes. They are funnier than anything on TV.