Abandon Law, all ye who enter here.

The Cameroid has made Big Man Noises lately. It's really funny to watch this little mouse roar. It's almost as if he actually thinks he matters. Or maybe, almost as if he actually thinks.

First he says we won't bail out Greece by giving money to the EU (we'll do it by giving the same money to the IMF instead. We're not fooled, forehead boy).

Then he resorts to 'fighting talk' when dealing with the military. Someone really should point out to him that 'fighting talk' is not at all a good idea when faced with a lot of people who are really, really good at actual, physical fighting. Still, I expect he'll find that out in time and I hope to be allowed to watch. I'll pay for a good seat within splatter range.

Now he says we can use 'reasonable force' against burglars. Well, isn't that nice? Isn't it also exactly what Strawman Jack said a few years ago, and won't it make just as much difference in reality?

A judge living in a safe place with police protection has a certain definition of 'reasonable force'. Someone with a wife and daughter in the house, woken in the night by a burly stranger drooling over the wife's side of the bed, has a definition of 'reasonable force' that might be a little different to the one the courts will expect him to have abided by. The judge's definition will be the one applied.

Get off the bloody Lib Dem fence, Cameron. The answer is very simple.

If someone chooses to live outside the law then they forfeit the protection of the law. If someone chooses to steal, kill, rape and so on, then they have no recourse to the law when caught and convicted. They deny the law, so take it as read that they deny all of it. All of it, including the Criminal Rights Act.

This can only apply to common law, of course. Statute law has so many ridiculous rules that you might as well build prison walls along the coastlines of this island. Not a bad idea, actually. If this was all a prison, we could smoke in it.

Cameron, make it clear. If you break into someone's house, you deny, and therefore forfeit, the law. The householder can do whatever they want to you. State it, Cameron, I dare you. Burglars will be prosecuted even if the court has to wait a year while doctors stitch the bits they can find back together. The homeowner will never be, not even if he put the burglar through a bacon slicer, re-enacted the entire 'Saw' series in his basement, or even smoked a cigarette at him.

Now that would make burglars think twice. All this 'reasonable force' nonsense is going to be interpreted by judges who have never been so much as punched in the face, no matter how much they should have been.

As it is, burglars know they will get a really serious ticking-off if they're caught. They know that they used to get far worse in the headmaster's office at school. Except this time they can not only keep the dinner money they stole, the law will give them more. Soon they will get off scot-free because they will have reported the homeowner for smoking, drinking, or having too much salt in his house. I have no confidence in any member of this government ever bothering to challenge that. It's their plan.

Go on, Cameron. You dehumanised smokers, drinkers, and the overweight, and recently even divorced fathers. We're all fair game for anyone who fancies having a go.

Dehumanise criminals. I dare you. Your predecessors didn't and neither have you. Move on from the easy targets and pick on one that actually matters. Stand up for something with a principle behind it instead of playing along with the whiners and the fake-science snake-oil merchants. Grow a pair. Stop talking and start doing. You are the Prime Monster, man. Prove that you are at least less worthless than the Brown Gorgon before you hand over to the next cloned drone. Ah, what the hell. You won't listen. You won't act.

You don't have the guts.

Cameron, you are the archetypal oik. And not the clever kind. The drooling kind. With a twitch.



In the meantime, if I am faced with a burglar, I can be sure that he hasn't told anybody his plans for the evening. So, no need to trouble the law with all that paperwork. And no need to trust any mollycoddled girly-man judge's interpretation of 'reasonable force'. My definition is simply that I stop hitting when my attacker stops moving.

I've had the crap seriously beaten out of me in the past. I am not talking Bullingdon japes, I am talking council estate bleeding. To hell with 'reasonable force'. All I will be interested in is ensuring that my attacker will never attack me again. If that means the tiresome chore of digging a hole in the woods, so be it. Nobody is looking for that hole in the woods because the burglar, in most cases, will never be missed.

Burglars, enter at your own risk. I don't play the 'reasonable force' game.

And Cameron, try visiting real life once in a while. You might actually end up knowing at least some of what you're talking about.