Tuesday, 14 June 2011

A load of coracles.

It seems Britannia no longer rules the waves. You remember all those jokes about the Canadian Navy? Well, now the Canadians tell the same jokes about the British Navy.

The Cleggeron Coagulation have the same attitude to the military as the Brown Gorgon and the Tiny Blur. Off you go to war lads. Nothing to worry about, you can't hurt yourselves because we haven't given you any weapons. Now you just go and give Johnny Foreigner a damn stern ticking-off. Just be careful not to raise your voice or call them any naughty names.

Cameron's forehead is evidently a facade, there's nothing behind it at all. He tells us we can't afford to properly equip our military but we can afford to give money to other countries (which they use to equip theirs).

Many, many years ago, the Welsh would paddle across to Ireland in coracles, little round open boats. They'd have a bit of a scrap with the Irish and then row home until the next weekend. That was the Welsh Navy - guys paddling little boats. Don't laugh, the UK might have to fall back on that soon. An aircraft carrier will be a coracle filled with paper planes. Nuclear ones will be those where the sailor has a watch with a luminous dial.

I'm sure Dopey Dave feels really, really good about handing over billions in aid to countries that are richer than us. He must feel great about being the most generous idiot in the world, more generous than all those countries who are far less skint that we are because their leaders are not total morons who just give it all away.

The world is not looking at you in awe while you pass out the money, Cameron.

They're just trying to keep a straight face until you put down the cash and leave the room.

14 comments:

Antipholus Papps said...

guys paddling little boats... the UK might have to fall back on that soon

Wasn't that our invasion of Iran?

Leg-iron said...

The way it's going, the ground troops in Libya will have to swim there.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps we'll be reduced to using cardboard cut outs of ships and planes after the manner of Durham Police with their cardboard police cars...

Jay

I am Stan said...

Mr Iron,

Its a disgrace I tell ya, boats BIG BOATS with guns n that that`ll show Jonny foreigner who`s boss...BAH!

Noooooo peace n love, kill em wiv kindness and our money says Cameroid, except Gadfly, Talibanies and duskies in general,

Hey Navy go save our Cod from them damn wops I say!...and the Bass WHAT ABOUT THE BASS!

Stupid Navy, too busy cruising the Carrib chasing hash boats, doin the Limbo and drinking Rum in the Pirates Arms.

THEY SHOULD BE OUT THERE KILLING FOLK! KILLING CONTINENTALS STEALING OUR FISH.

Bomb the Whaling fleet with them missile thingys I know they`ve got em, Save the Whale not Libyans, Whale Wars....

Rest easy friend

I am Stan said...

All said and done saving lives is better than taking them no?

seaman Staines said...

India will shortly receive delivery of their aircraft carrier including Mig29's adapted for carrier operations. Maybe we could ask them to help out in our Libyan expedition ?
A sort of thank you from them for the £600m in Aid this year and billions in previous years.

master Bates. said...

That will be their 2nd carrier with two more planned by 2020.
I think the UK will have it's new carrier by then. Shared with the French and using French aircraft and an arrest system rather than jump jet ramp facilities.
'bandits a' neuf heur ' right enough.

NickM said...

Leg-Iron,
I don't want to annoy you but I'm fairly sure luminous dial watches are now banned. A few years back I had to have the hands replaced on my Omega Speedmaster and the new ones don't glow.

We're not even trusted with that. And I've got degrees in physics and astrophysics. We are though trusted with smoke detectors. As to the radiological potential of those.

Google "radioactive boy scout".

JuliaM said...

"All said and done saving lives is better than taking them no?"

Depends on the lives. And on what it's going to cost us to do so, not just now, but in the long run...

Slamlander said...

Best not to be in Libya in the first place. None of NATO can afford yet another shooting war.

James Higham said...

Is there nobody in politics with any ability? Why does everyone who comes to power go all Brownean?

Anonymous said...

He is marginally better than the Brown Gorgon and Bliar.

I remember being sent to war by Bliar with no desert kit, no body armour and a whole 50 rounds for my shitty rifle to patrol downtown Basra.

I would never tire of punching that cunt in the face.

Technomist said...

Spot on, Sir

don franny mandrako (famous spanish flogger and frog-marcher) said...

12:01

...and a fuckin' p├ętanque pitch on the flight-deck.

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