Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Mystery Van Juicytits.

It sounds to me like Daphne from Scooby-Doo. Well, I don't speak Dutch. Today this blog had a visit from Ministerie van Justitie in Den Haag, Netherlands. There have been quite a few local councils in this country taking an interest too, especially since the Ciggie Buster episodes. Daphne was only here for a minute but Birmingham and Coventry councils hung around a while.

It seems I am a popular hideously deformed freak. Hello, official people. I do hope you all find something to say rather than simply lurking. If you're browsing in an unofficial capacity, watch out for your validation software. Birmingham council's browsing is coming through a tracking system. They're watching you harder than they're watching me.

This stats thing is a lot of fun. The numbers don't matter but the places people come from are amazing. All over the world. Even Cwmbran. It also tells me what people were searching for to find me. Daphne was searching for 'leg iron blog' which is logical.

Whoever it was who arrived here after searching for 'sex with a criple', you seriously need help, and not just with your spelling. You sick bastard.

Unless it was Kate Bush, in which case my phone number is...


Anonymous said...

Dear Kate, she lost her nerve in my home town with the loss of one of her road crew. Poor chap, fell backwards into a hole created by the moving stage. Hit his head on one of the stage motors, blood everywhere.

My friend and I, both 'council estate spawn' had to clean up the mess. She never performed live again. Such sensitive girl we all thought, nice tits.


JuliaM said...

"Whoever it was who arrived here after searching for 'sex with a criple'..."

Ladies and gentlemen, the British Educational System...!

*feeble applause*

We can't even teach perverts to spell, apparently.

Bucko said...

How do you find out all this stuff?

Fredrik Eich said...

"Unless it was Kate Bush, in which case my phone number is..."

I don't know about that LI!

Don't forget the lovely Kate wrote these lines:

"Breathing – breathing my mother in, breathing – breathing my beloved in, breathing – her nicotine!"

I'll forgive her!

Chief_Sceptic said...

Well, for Kate Bush to shag me, I'D cripple myself !!! ...

Leg-iron said...

Anon - I wondered what was behind her disappearance.

JuliaM - yes, our perverts are as dim as the rest of the population now. Makes them harder to find.

Bucko - Right at the bottom of the page, where nobody ever goes, is a tag for 'Sitemeter'. A fascinating device that records all sorts of junk that nobody really needs to know. Although I admit to raised eyebrows at some of the places visitors come from.

Fredrick - I think she can be forgiven one transgression. It's not as if she's made a career out of denormalising people for fun.

Chief - She does indeed wield enormous power. Let's hope she only uses her powers for good.

Anonymous said...

Kate can be forgiven that one; the song was written way before the Righteous focused on ciggies in pregnancy.

If you read the rest of the lyrics, it was a song about living shortly after a nuclear bomb had landed.

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