Sunday, 1 August 2010

Oy vey, Insh'allah.

I can hardly type for laughing although in the end, it's not funny at all. It's more the maniacal laughter of the damned than the chuckles of the amused.

The Cameroid has enraged the Islamists of Pakistan by suggesting it might be awfully sporting of them if they would stop training people to blow up other people. They have responded, as usual, by demonstrating their non-violent nature with uncontrolled rage and burning the Cameroid in effigy. They missed their chance to burn the real one. Then Moribund Senior, who did so wonderfully well in the region, pops up to say he did it wrong. Tories are no use at this, it takes a real Labour banana-waving grinning ghoul to properly annoy these people.

The Cameroid now has two options. Prove his statement was correct and say 'nyah' or, if he can't support it, he'll have to grovel and apologise like a Labour lickspittle. Apologise, Cameroid, and your ratings here will plummet. Yet if you can't prove your statement, what other choice do you have? You'd better come up with something more convincing than 'weapons of mass destruction' this time. The Blur used that one and it's not working out too well for him now. Oh, and 'The Ninja Chappatis and the Pilau Pirates' isn't going to work. This time it will have to be real evidence. I know that goes against the tradition of the last thirteen years but we're not all as stupid as politics would like.

Cameroid's single comment caused the head of Pakistani intelligence to take his ball and go home. He has refused to discuss security for the Pakistani PM's visit with British security forces because his delicate feathers are ruffled. So what's more important, a perceived slight or the safety of the head of State?

Silly question. A perceived slight trumps everything these days.

So Cameroid has annoyed the Islamists. It couldn't get worse, could it?

Well, yes, it could.

Some guy called Shimon Peres says that the English are all anti-Semitic. He seems to have forgotten how the state of Israel came about.

Shimon Peres said England was "deeply pro-Arab ... and anti-Israeli", adding: "They always worked against us."

Oh, good luck with that 'Middle East Peace Diva' job, Tiny Blur. Neither side likes you now. It's hardly surprising, really. Nobody likes you anywhere, at least not after you've spoken to them.

He added: "There is in England a saying that an anti-Semite is someone who hates the Jews more than is necessary."

Is there? I've never heard it, not in fifty years. Could it be that he's just made it up?

Oh, this is cracking stuff. The Muslims think the Cleggeron Coagulation is Israel's lap-dog while Israel think the Coagulation is all cuddly to the Muslims. Cameroid, get the hell out of the middle of this one now, if you can, and do it without taking sides.

You don't want to be on either side because Mr. Brown Stuff is about to hit Mr. Whirly Thing with quite some force and the best place to be when that happens is somewhere else. In the middle is definitely the worst option, believe me.

The Russians can see it coming.

Islam and Israel are squaring up and trying to force the Cameroid to take sides. The only sensible option is to go all Switzerland on them and leave them to it.

We don't have the capacity for yet another war, Cameroid. Leave this one to someone else. Don't let them play you the way battling children play their teachers. Let them sort out their differences themselves.

The Cameroid will be tempted to take Israel's side. Wrong. The Russians, with their rested armies and masses of equipment, will take the other side. Chechen rebels notwithstanding, Iran has a lot of oil and oil lubricates the wheels of co-operation very well indeed. Cameroid cannot take the Islamists' side while he has troops shooting at them in two countries. Devil and deep blue sea, Cameroid. Stay on the beach, get out the towel and a good book and sit this one out.

Cameroid, you have only one real option. Shut up and stay out of it. The Blur and the Gorgon caused enough problems with unpopular wars.

What's coming up is likely to be an unpopular war you'll lose, and lose quickly. Best option? Get our troops the hell out of the way, fast.

Oh, and you might consider buying them some decent equipment for a change. We might need them again if this escalates.

At least, some boots and rations, which would be better than the Gorgon ever offered.

Maybe a few bullets, too?


JuliaM said...

"Is there? I've never heard it, not in fifty years. "

Nope, me neither. I think Shimon's been reading too much 'Guardian' and 'Independent'...

PT Barnum said...

Being like Switzerland should be easier for us than it is for Switzerland - we're an island(s). It is such an alluring thought. Let our armed services become a defence force again and let us stop bankrolling other people's religio-political follies.

And no, I've never heard that 'saying' either, not even from back in the day where Queen Liz I ordered all the Jews to leave England, when state-sanctioned anti-Semitism really did exist.

Anonymous said...

Of course Peres is right about English anti-semitism .... although a lot of it has it's roots in Irish Catholicism.

Trooper Thompson said...

PT, are you sure about Elizabeth I kicking out the jews? I know Cromwell invited them back, but I thought it was Richard I who kicked them out.

I've never heard the phrase either, still anonymous says it's true we're all anti-semites, so who am I to disagree?

Anonymous said...

Of course there are some anti-Semites in the UK, just as there are some anti-Islamists, anti-dark-skinned people, anti-pale-skinned people, anti-women, and anti-men people. You’ll find some in every country in the world, but by and large they are a tiny minority compared to the vast numbers of people who just want to jog along peacefully with everyone else as long as they are nice. The trouble is, it’s now taboo to give vent to any of those nasty feelings, which is why the anti-smoking movement has been such a godsend for every would-be racist, sexist or bully of any kind, because it gives them a state-sanctioned arena in which to spew forth all their resentment and bile. Some of them even get paid handsomely for it, although for the rest it’s just a kind of therapy, poor bitter little saddos!

Cameron should have stuck to just being an anti-smoker. As an ex-smoker and a politician he should jolly well know that that’s the only prejudice which is permitted, these days. Methinks that the New Boy is showing his political naivety a bit here, which is worrying at such an early stage. What's he going to be like when he's been in the job for a year or two and thus "knows it all?"

Corrugated Soundbite said...

Off topic L-I, but this is an article which you may be interested in:

PT Barnum said...

@Trooper Thompson

The official Expulsion of the Jews was ordered by Edward I and, while Cromwell proposed their readmission, the decision was shelved until Charles II returned to the throne, when Jews were explicitly invited back, albeit to share the second class status of Catholics in rights. But there always were Jews in England throughout the entire period, of course (when did banning anything ever work?). Elizabeth I's expulsion was de facto rather than de jure, since she "invited" them to convert to Anglicanism or go to prison having forfeited their property to the crown. Some went underground, in parallel to the Catholics, most exiled themselves, some made a stand. But that was, to my knowledge, the last English effort to rid the land of a Jewish population.

currying favour with India said...

The latest 'wikileaks' has hundreds of reports of Pakistan collusion with alkayadda and the taliban so cast iron should just refer the retards to the files.
An Asian Labour MP ( not the fat thief Vaz but another fat cunt)was on Skynews saying that cast iron was just trying to 'curry favour' with India. The interviewer couldn't stop smirking and the fat pig wasn't amused.

Nick2 said...

Perez' quoteation sounds more germanic in construction than English - although I've never met a German who's anti-semitic.

Anonymous said...

"There is in England a saying that an anti-Semite is someone who hates the Jews more than is necessary."

Does that mean you're not antisemitic if you believe it's necessary to hate them?

Leg-iron said...

Nick2 - it could be something out of 'Mein Kampfy Chair', perhaps. It's certainly not a saying I've heard... anywhere at all.

It's possible he just made it up for effect. He is a politician after all.

Overall, I can't see what Crazy Davey thinks he's achieving by jetting around the world annoying absolutely everyone.

Either it's all part of some convoluted and unbelievably cunning plan, or he's just a bit of a dick.

Leg-iron said...

CS- thanks for the link. They really do operate exactly like a secret-police organisation, don't they?

Anonymous said...

Right now I honestly think that the military will veto any attempt to get involved in another useless foreign war. Simply put, we couldn't quite afford it back in the boom years (we certainly couldn't after all the "Must Buy European Only Weapons" bollocks that Tiny Blur involved us in), and now that the Ministry of Defence have to pay for Trident out of their ever-shrinking budget, we most certainly can't afford more than a fairly basic self-defence system.

If the numbers of trident subs gets cut below four, then we're also going to be in a whole lot of mess. The way it currently works is that one is out on patrol we know not where, one is getting prepped for the next patrol, one is being serviced after patrol, and one is on deep overhaul. Reducing the numbers doesn't reduce the cost much; most of the cost is in infrastructure, personnel and weapons maintenance, not submarines. What reducing the number of subs does do is absolutely guarantees that in the event of a nuclear war, the very first bombs detonated are going to be over Faslane to knock out the sub stationed there, London to clobber the Government, and Cheltenham to hit GCHQ.

This is what'll happen if you reduce the sub numbers since we're already at minimum credible deterrent level; drop below that and we're not a nuclear power any more, but just some piss-ant second-raters with big fireworks which can be neutralised by the opposition (only way to stop that is to have a sub out patrolling all the time, so an opponent CANNOT take out all the retaliation capability).

So, Trident will stay, and the rest of the military will feel the axe. That'll leave us with next to no ability to reach out, which will preclude any more expensive foreign adventures in future. With a bit of luck the Government will stop looking overseas then, and look to sorting out the situation back home, which unfortunately puts the European Union's creeping empire-building back in the firing line...

Thermblog said...

Just for the record, Peres did not say (or mean) that Britain was antisemitic. I came across his actual words and realised that once again I'd made a fool of myself by believing headlines.

("Tiny Blur" & "Mein Kampfy Chair" are now etched in my lexicon. Thank you.)

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