No Crow.

No, it's not about Bob 'all out, comrades' Crow and his last-ditch attempt to destroy any chance of his pet Gorgon getting back in at the election. Constantly Furious and Al-Jahom have that one covered.

This is about CAMRA's apparent realisation that something isn't quite right with the world, even when viewed through a frothy glass. Beer duty just keeps going up and up, and Ciderman is crying into his glass. Why, oh why, are the government doing this to them? After they were so supportive of getting all of us vile smokers and our inferior-grade tobacco out of their pubs, which then closed.

Well, we smokers could all crow 'Told you so' but I'm not going to do that. Not least because I like, or rather used to like, going to the pub as often as possible. I rarely visit now. It's weather dependent these days. CAMRA were delighted when I was effectively banned, along with thousands like me, and are now bleating because the price of beer is going up.

Well, business rates, staff, stock, all has to be paid for and with fewer customers there's no option but to charge each one more. And the government total tax take is down because fewer pints are sold and their answer to that is always - always - to increase the duty per pint to keep their tax take the same.

I'm not going to crow about it because the current denormalisation being experienced by drinkers (all drinkers, not just the cans-in-the-park ones) is not the first, and won't be the last time.

There's no point in CAMRA keeping up their 'But we are responsible drinkers, we are the elite of drinkers' protest because the Ban Boys simply do not care. You are drinkers. As far as they are concerned, there is only one kind of drinker. The kind that must be eradicated. Just as there is only one kind of smoker, the kind that blow smoke into prams and stub out their cigarettes in pensioners' eyes. All the same.

Drink controls are coming. Already it's impossible to have a bottle of wine with a picnic in many places. Escalating duty, just like cigarettes. It's not going to stop. Pubs are changing into restaurants where drinking without a meal is already frowned on. It's not illegal, it probably never will be, but those restaurants are in the food business now. Booze is secondary. Once you finish the meal (and you're not going to get away with a bag of pork scratchings) you'll be hustled out to make room for the next profitable customer.

Pubs can't survive much more of this. There are some very nice out-of-town pubs but unless you know someone with a car who is happy to drink orange juice all evening, they are out of range. Country buses don't run late. Around here, you'd have to leave the pub by 8 pm to get home - and for many pubs, you'd have to leave a lot earlier. There is really no point in allowing 24-hour drinking if nobody can get there.

So, CAMRA, no crowing here. I want those pubs too. I want to be able to smoke in some of them - not all, I'm not selfish enough to demand that all pubs cater to my personal preferences - but you won't let me.

If smokers could go to the pub, we'd spend money in there. They wouldn't have to turn into restaurants, the overall tax take wouldn't drop so fast so the government wouldn't have to keep increasing it quite so much, the publican would make more money overall so wouldn't have to raise prices, and pubs closures would slow, maybe even reverse.

It's not going to happen though, is it? The people CAMRA have sided with are not only out to get rid of smokers.

They're after drinkers too. Not the Saturday night boozy scrappers. Those are too risky to tackle. Instead, they go for the easy targets who like a pint or two now and then. You know, like real ale connoisseurs.

I don't think that's quite sunk in yet. It'll be too late when it does.