Tired tonight. Gardening weather today, and most of it is dead thanks to global non-warming. Having a garden under snow for three months means that even my ten-year-old plants are dead. Now I have a lot of bare earth and a mound of rotting vegetation on what used to be a lawn but is now a yellow swampy moss-patch. I think my fruit trees made it, at least the roots haven't rotted away, but I'll just have to wait and see if those buds sprout.
If it wasn't for the promises of global warming, I might have gone ahead with my idea to cover the lot with a perspex dome and grow Kiwi fruit, hops, barley and tobacco. Although perspex dome, chimenea, maybe not an ideal combination. Glass dome, local banjo-playing inbred freaky kids, definitely not a good combination. They can throw stones really accurately with six fingers.
Enough gardening talk. Maybe I'll just concrete the lot, paint it brown and drill holes to put plastic flowers into.
Astroturf. I need astroturf.