In the name of Equality, the Hideous Harman announces her new elites.
Insinuating that a woman is not as strong as a man will be "unlawful sex discrimination", under the terms of the forthcoming Equality Bill.
Even if the woman is three foot six and barely visible edge-on while the man is Geoff Capes. Insinuating (not stating, just insinuating) that there is any difference in strength between the two is illegal. 'Insinuating' that a woman is not as strong as a man includes things like helping her lift anything at all or offering to help her change a flat tyre. Sorry, girls, Hideous Harman says we boys can't play with you any more. That DIY you want done? DIY.
A code of practice explaining the legal implications of the Bill, which is currently going through Parliament, states that being a woman is "a protected characteristic".
Like someone is going to come along and take that characteristic from you. Women, watch out, you may wake one day to find your womanliness-characteristic stolen away and you'll have to shave your head and wear dungarees and get a job on a building site. Worse, you might find yourself transformed into a demented raddled harridan and have no option but to trek off to Westminster and be deputy prime monster.
A biologically fixed fact is now a protected characteristic, and offering help to a woman is illegal. It can't get worse. Can it?
"It does not matter what the service provider's intentions are or whether the service provider's less favourable treatment of the person is conscious or unconscious.
"The service provider may even think that they are doing the person a favour, or simply be unaware that they are treating the person differently because of a protected characteristic."
Yes it can. Your intention is irrelevant. If you see a woman struggling with armfuls of shopping, a baby and a pushchair and you offer to help in any way, you're nicked. 'Less favourable treatment' includes advising a woman (but not a man) to not lift something that will clearly do them an injury if they try it. Lads, we'll just have to watch it happen. Try not to laugh.
Okay, there's no way even Hideous can improve on that... or is there?
The Bill will give more scope too for the prosecution of shopkeepers and club owners who refuse to allow entry to certain types of people.
Note the wording. It is not about protecting certain groups of people. It is about giving the law more scope to prosecute people. Revenue, dear boy, revenue is all they want. So who are these special elite who cannot be refused entry anywhere? It's who you think it is, naturally, but this time they can bring a friend.
The Bill also creates a new offence of discrimination by association. The code states that if a nightclub refused entry to three Polish people and an English man, the English man could claim he has suffered racial discrimination by association.
Again, it's in the wording. There is no requirement for any application of logic or sense. If the nightclub refused entry because they were full, or because those trying to get in were utterly plastered and violent, that's no excuse if they are Harman's Heroes. They are Elite and cannot be refused because that's discrimination and discrimination is contagious. You can now claim discrimination for any reason at all as long as one member of your group is a Harmanite. Anyone obstructing you will be prosecuted.
Of course, once they're in that full club, there are now more people inside than are allowed under health and safety law so they'll be prosecuted for that instead. Watch those clubs and pubs close down, but be quick because they won't be there long.
Your chosen Harmanite need not even be present.
If a boy is refused membership of his local football club and his parents are two lesbian women, he could claim "unlawful direct discrimination by association because of sexual orientation".
Note the 'and'. It does not say 'refused membership...because his parents are two lesbian women'. He might be refused membership because he is useless at football or because he is well known for raking his studs on his opponent's faces. The club might be unaware that his parents are two lesbian women and have refused him because he's a dangerous useless thug but that's not good enough.
They cannot refuse him. He has the Harman Ace up his sleeve.
You think there are daily reports of ridiculous prosecutions already? Wait until Hideous Harman unleashes her new elites.
Anyone can claim discrimination now. Anyone can initiate a prosecution. Anyone can boost the government's fine income.
Well, not quite anyone.
I would say 'it can't possibly get worse' but this is Labour we're dealing with. They see those words as a challenge.