Monday, 29 March 2010

Junkie food.

If you like fast food or 'junk' food you are now an addict. Just like smokers. And heroin users. So it's soon going to be just fine for the Righteous to treat you the same way.

The Daily Hypertension reports that sausages, bacon and cheesecake are highly addictive and that once you've tasted them you will be craving them forever. Which is odd because I've tasted all of them and only eat them occasionally. Tonight was lamb - my favourite because it's a legal way to eat a baby.

I sometimes have sausage, egg and chips but I don't recall ever feeling I had to have that. It's one of those 'no time to think' meals, or 'can't be bothered shopping' meals. Bacon rolls are great but again, I don't go out of my way to get one. As for cheesecake, I haven't eaten that for a very long time. I've eaten burgers but only when there's nothing else available. Addicted?

The 'addiction' part is nonsense. It's where the antismokers started, all those years ago. You are addicted and you can't stop, you really want to but you haven't realised it yet. You are not enjoying it, you are addicted. We will help. Just bow to us and let us control your life.

Now you can expect to be reviled in the street if you have a burger. It doesn't matter if you are stick-thin. It's not about obesity any more. It's now an addiction and it must be denormalised. Entirely. Someone eating a burger when they are not fat is like someone smoking when they don't have cancer. It will be regarded as 'only a matter of time before your vile addiction kills you'.

Eating such foods around children will get you arrested. You will not be able to buy burgers if you have a child with you in case you plan to give them to the child. They will be in plain packaging with pictures of Bernard Manning on them and you'll have to get them from the shuttered freezer.

They've moved on from the fat people now. They are targeting the food so if you like sausages, you might as well take up smoking and tank down as much booze as you can get. You are going to be reviled anyway. Make it worth your while.

Sausages tomorrow night, I think. With chips. And bacon, and probably cheesecake to follow.

Best get a few in before they are all banned.

__

When did sausages and bacon become 'junk food'? Those are old traditional foods and a properly-made sausage contains no junk at all. Bacon is just thinly-sliced pig. I have a feeling this 'junk food' definition is going to get wider.

20 comments:

Frank Davis said...

I had lamb today, as well.

And tomorrow it'll probably be eggs and bacon too. With mushrooms and tomatoes and fried bread. Fried in lard. With lashings of hot, sweet tea.

But not chips, FFS! I never ever eat chips. Are you some sort of chip-addicted druggie? Have you ever thought of counselling or something? Do you know that chips are like heroin to some people?

I know! I bet that you smother them with tomato ketchup and salt too. That's the sign of the utterly depraved chip junkie. That, along with eating them cold.

Me? I gave up chips years ago. It took an act of determined will-power to do so. I did it cold turkey, just like that. None of those chip-replacement patches for me. No sir!

I still hanker after chips now and then. The slim, brown crisp ones. Hard and crunchy. One end dipped in ketchup or mustard, piping hot and steaming salty, and ready for my teeth to bite their juicy little innards out of them, and feel their warm potatious interiors slip out onto my tongue.

But I kicked the habit 15 years ago, I'm proud to say. Sheer force of will, natch. It's the only way. I've only weakened 400 or 500 times since then.

I'm sure you can do it too, and practise chip-denial like me. And you get the extra added bonus of feeling totally superior to everybody else when you're standing in a chippie, and you just ask for one piece of battered cod, no chips, thanks. And they look you in the eyes, and see a superior being, clad with light.

Just sayin'

Frank

TheFatBigot said...

Ah, Mr Iron, one must take issue with "It's not about obesity any more. It's now an addiction and it must be denormalised."

What we are seeing is a pincer movement. It is now about both obesity and addiction. The stick-thin are attacked as addicts (by people who are addicted to interfering) while the obese are attacked as greedy or weak or addicted depending on the naggers' mood of the day.

I am Stan said...

YOU WILL BE DE-NORMALISED

YOU WILL BE DE-NORMALISED

YOU WILL BE DE-NORMALISED

DE-NORMALISE

DE-NORMALISE

DEEEE-NOOOOORMALIIIIIIIIISE

Anonymous said...

It all depends on your definition of "addiction."

When arguing with someone the other day about how I chose to smoke because I enjoyed it rather than because I was "addicted" I stated that when I switched to an Atkins diet last year my experience was exactly the same as the experiences I've had when I have given up smoking in the past. Forget this "more addictive tha heroin" junk - whenever I've stopped smoking in the past I've just had intense cravings for a few days which then subside to the point where I am happy not to smoke for weeks or months at a time. However, I invariably start smoking again months down the line (when all nicotine "addiction" is gone) because.... I feel like having a fag.

Giving up carbs was the same - I had intense cravings for a few days and then found it easy to stick to for several months. However, there are times when I fancy some chocolate or crusty bread so I have it - no problem. But if someone said to me "You can never have carbs again, ever. It's an all or nothing deal" I would, as I have with fags, give up giving up.

And there is the problem - I find it difficult to give up smoking because I LIKE smoking, much as I like chocalate cake and chips. I can do without buth, but no way am I ever going to not have them again, ever, in my life!

So in reality I think there is something to this report - I know if I have a lot of carbs for a few days when I go back to low carb I feel cravings for them. However, my argument was that "craving" does not equal "addiction" - just look at the physiological impact on the body of giving up booze or drugs - hardly the same as, "God, I'd kill for a Mars bar" or "Hmmm, I REALLY want a fag right now." However, my argument went badly when the person I was speaking to just said, "Well if your experience of the two is the same then you must also be addicted to carbs."

By that reasoning, we must also be addicted to water, air and having a daily dump. If you define addiction as "craving" something (which is all this report demonstrates) then you can be "addicted" to virtually anything.

Anonymous said...

I also highly recommend Atkins as a dietary way of life. Your appetite levels out and you don't get sudden bouts of, "I'm starving! Need food!" The eight also drops off with ittle effort. In addition, as your cholesterol levels dop, you get leaner and genrally more healthy, you can see the looks of horror on the Righteous' faces as you tuck into fry-ups, fatty steak, chops, eggs and cheese.

(Interstingly, in the States the traditional "low fat" approach is now widely discredited and a low carb approach is recommended. Some of the more swivel-eyed of them now regard carbs as "poison." I don't condone that kind of extremism but it is interesting that the Righteous can't even get their stories straight - a Yank Righteous would scream in horror at the NHS' recommendation that lardasses eat low fat, citing many studies that show that it doesn't work and usually backfires.

As you say, since when did lean cuts of bacon or oven roasted ham become "junk" food?

Anonymous said...

Bah! Typos in previous post - sorry! Damn laptop keyboards!

mister_choos said...

I remember reading somewhere that the American obesity problems started when the low fat diet started to be pushed. Fat in the diet went down carbs and weight went up and they all turned into manatees (copyright: my daughter)

Robert the Biker said...

OK, if you're a smackhead, they give you Methadone, an opiate substitute right?
What do they give you if you're 'addicted' to McDonalds, a prescription for Burger King?

I'm going crazy here.

Fausty said...

If they are so concerned about health, why have they not targeted sweets? (Not that I think they should). No, instead, they want to fluoridate our water.

Bacon 'offends' the Muslims, of course - and both bacon and sausages are the products of farmers. They've been winding down farming in this country for years. The EU has designated farming areas - France is one. Unfortunately, the UK is not.

I believe the UK is to be assigned the growing of GM crops - but I'll have to check that out. (If not, then why did McDrone secretly allow GM trials to take place in the UK?

Will cheese be targeted next? That'd wipe out a few more dairy farmers.

Mr A said...

It's funny - I hang around on a number of forums.... pro-freedom smoking forums, low carb/supplement forums and bodybuilder forums (yes, Righteous - I smoke AND I'm healthy - figure that one out Donaldson you fat tub of grease) and it is interesting that these disparate groups all have one common enemy - Big Pharma and the "Medical Establishment."


Big Pharma's aim at monopolising the global nicotine market is well-known to readers of this blog, but the alfalfa sprout munchers hate them too as Big Pharma is systematically attempting to take over the supplement industry, too. Why take cheap evening primrose oil for your condition when Big P has a handy little patented tablet for you to take? In fact, why not just ban evening primrose oil and the like on the back of some scare stories (that Big P have "discovered" courtesy of their white-coated pets) and then no-one has any choice!? Similarly, low carb is now the diet of choice for both bodybuilders and many in the US diet industry (the earlier comment is true - much as smoking cessation rates stalled once ASH got involved, obesity has increased since low-fat became the diet du jour), but again our monkeys in the NHS ignore study after study showing health benefits in order to promote their dogma that "meat is bad." (Much like they have pictures of smoke going into a child's nose on fag packets as a health warning, when nearly a dozen studies show that light exposure to second hand smoke is protective of many respiratory illnesses in children). But hey, let's not let facts get in the way of controlling people and making money, eh?

Big P is truly a force for evil in this world (120 million swine flue doses courtesy of our taxes, anyone? Obama's lovely new Health Bill?) yet they seem to get a free ride everywhere while the likes of Big Tobacco and Big Oil are denounced as evil cancer-merchants or global warming vendors.

They need to be exposed.

P.S. Why are Big Pharma against low carb? Just an anecdote. My old man had a heart attack 20 years ago and has been on a carrier bag full of pills every day ever since. Since going low carb he dropped three stone and dumped all his heart tablets, all his diabetic medication etc - in fact (under the supervision of his amazed Doctor) he ended up dropping all but one tablet. They don't like that. Hence their attempting to get Government to prescribe statins as a prophylactic measure to combat high (although normal until their white-coated pets revised the figures a few years ago) levels of cholesterol.

God, how I hate them!

Fausty said...

Different blood types require different diets, allegedly.

I certainly do better on a protein-rich diet, so the Atkins diet suits me perfectly.

Junk food can be addictive, but not in the sense that the Righteous mean it. Because they generally don't tend to nourish, you do not feel satisfied, so you want more food. And some people opt for more junk food. That makes them fat.

You can hardly call that addictive - it is malnourishment.

I wonder if the Germans will allow the banning of their sausages?

In any case, I hope our farmers up their game and make better quality sausages - to rival that of the Germans. If they do, then what will be the argument of the meddlers?

Fausty said...

The blood type diet.

Antipholus Papps said...

@mister_choos:

I like Ed Byrne's theory that in the mid-80s we were all singing 'Feed The World', while the Americans responded with 'We Are The World'.

naturalnoble said...

This is good news. I don't really like smoking and I don't drink a whole lot. I've been feeling guilty that the righteous might think I don't do that stuff because they tell me not to, rather than that I don't really like it.

Junk food, however, I can do.

For breakfast today I had a milkshake containing seven Oreos, two tablespoons of peanut butter, some whey protein, about a pint of milk and a serving of ice cream. Easily over 1000 calories in under 700 ml I reckon. That is my usual breakfast. For lunch I had nachos because I was going to the gym and needed some carbs.

On Saturday I was invited to a party so I needed to drink, but I was hungry too and I only had time for one or t'other so I put about a triple of vodka in that shake and drank it on the bus.

I know a 17 year old who said he weighs over 130 kg right now, at a height of around 5'11. Even he was making fun of me for my eating habits because yesterday it was about 4pm before I had any calories that wasn't chocolate.

I also like lamb, and I'm going to put some in tacos today. Lamb steak in burritos are amazing, but it's quite expensive. Lamb mince is the same price as beef mince I think.

English Pensioner said...

You didn't mention alcohol!

I like all the foods you mention, particularly cheesecake, but there is no way I am addicted.
If I am addicted to anything it is roast beef which I invariably choose for my Sunday lunch at one of our local pubs. (Yes we always eat out on Sunday if we are not expecting visitors, my wife is entitled to try to retire as well as me.)
However I now know what annoys the zealots and I notice that the pub does some excellent sausages and mash with onion gravy, I'll have to give them a try.

Leg-iron said...

Frank - No ketchup here. Extra salt instead. And mustard, since it was sausages.

Leg-iron said...

Fausty - interesting link. I'm type 'O' and the chart pretty much works for me. Especially since it tells me not to eat cabbage or sprouts. I hate those.

It would be interesting to see how far it applies, and not too hard to test. If it's right, the majority of those in group A would be vegetarian, for example. It wouldn't be perfect - some people in other blood groups will be vegetarian for other reasons - but it should show up with a big enough sample.

Fausty said...

Leg-Iron, everyone in my family is type O, and all those who eat lots of carbs seem to be afflicted in some way. Whether it's because of carbs, I couldn't say, but it seems likely.

How would you test?

I wonder how many prominent vegetarians are group A - and how many muslims.

Leg-iron said...

The test would be as you say - how many type A's are vegetarian and vice versa. How many type O have problems with dairy.

Medical records will show it in moments. Ask a hospital porter - they have access.

TonyD said...

There's some great information on why carbs are bad and saturated fat is good at www.second-opinions.co.uk if you haven't come across it yet. And no - I'm not connected with the site.

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